Joiners Arms

Gay bar/​club that’s always filled with people by mid-​night ish despite being on a weekday. Filled with fellow east enders not bothered to going further east (aka Dalston). Dumpy grumpy place with karaōke nights on Tuesdays. Not much to complain about as it’s usually the place we pop by when it’s a week day and we ran out of places to go to (aka not bothered). They do occasionally host fun events though.
£5 entry fee after 12 I think. Good for easy drunken hook ups if you’re dry for the night, obvi., again, it’s this place is just easy, and my friends love it.

Really love this place good crowd and doesnt have that ‘attitude’ that you get in East Bloc or soho, but the do bouncers need to stop letting people at some point it gets too busy and you find yourself constantly queing for the toleit, bar, smoking area, dancefloor…

I have no idea why but I love this place. It has nothing to do with me but still I went back. My favourite night is Friday, the music is amazing and the vibe quite surprising. There is a very good mix of people and no judgement. The place stinks like an old dirty pub, sometimes they make you pay £10 to enter which is a total rip off, Saturday nights are quite cheesy, the guy at the coat check is more than useless and must be on valium, which creates crazy lines to get you coat back, staff is just unfriendly and still needs to learn how to make G&Ts but hey maybe one should only drink beer there, no need to tip, I left £1 for each drink but never get a thank you or a better service for the 10 other drinks I bought.
Don’t think about it, be in a good mood and you’ll have a blast. I did!

If you go there, dont be afraid of getting in touch with other people, or of sweat, or of drinks that might be spilled over your clothes. Especially during weekend nights (friday and saturday) its extremly packed and the crowd might be raving with some cheesy older disco songs from Kylie etc. People are quiet drunk/​fucked up and beside trendy slackers and hipsters you see alternative guys, beard men, guys in too colorful and too tight clothes and some real freaks.
The stuff is quiet focussed (what really means something in this wild atmosphere) and the door guys are a bit strange and harsh.
Its one of those places I like to go from time to time if I feel in a special mood, but def. not something for every day (or evening).

I love, love, love the Joiner’s Arms. It can be a bit discouraging if you walk in early as it literally looks like a run down community centre. But do stay as the drinks are cheap and the music is amazing! I’ve spend many a night dancing my arse off and the people here are quite cool. I highly recommend Joiners if your looking for a good night out with the hipster gays of London.

Oh my god I was so drunk last night I ended up at the Joiners, and you know what? It was pretty fun.
I don’t remember much but I do remember a £5 entry fee which wasn’t there last time I came, but then again the hour long queue was missing and I’ll happily pay a fiver not to have to queue up forever, and to be honest we weren’t intending on having any more drinks once we had gotten in so fair’s fair.
The music was pure cheesy pop — which I’m a sucker for even without copious amounts of alcohol — and everyone was having a gay old time, I didn’t last long, the eventual after effects of our east end evening of excellent entertainment caught up with me about 40 mins after coming in.
Oh well, there’s always next Friday…
PS — Toilets are still scummy, would it kill for some urinals so I don’t have to touch those cubicle doors?

My all-​time favourite bar in Shoreditch. The place to go after you had pre-​drinks in the George & Dragon. It still has that stingy smell of bleach all over it (your own fault, Britain — re-​introduce smoking!) and the uninviting atmosphere of a really bad place somewhere in South-​East-​London weren’t there the prettiest people to be found. Or let’s say «it took me 3h in front my my mirror to look this trashy and f-​ed up». They finally cleared out the pool table, so they can fit in more people. Another great change I noticed — the back end outdoor smoking area. This puts an end to endless arguments with the bouncers to stay within the barriers on the sidewalk and keep the noise down. Music brilliant. Bar staff, brilliant. Stay out til it closes and consider it a good night? Check. Brilliant!

Ohhhh my god. What to say about the Joiners. What does one say about a place that combines the décor of a low-​rent Eastern European gap year hostel with the seedy atmosphere of a cruising toilet from San Francisco in the 60s?
Starting your night at the Joiners is like starting your night out by vomiting on yourself: seriously, save it for the end of the night. It’s only when the nearby clubs close that everybody descends on the Joiners. Not because it’s really any good, but because it’s the one place that stays open for hours. In fact, nobody seems to actually know when the Joiners closes. Probably at 2 in the afternoon, when they have to push the gurning people on a comedown out onto the pavement.
There’s sometimes a queue, but really, there’s not much point in actually getting in, unless you want to drink more. (Funnily enough, this is usually necessary once you enter the Joiners.) It’s usually way more fun just hanging around outside, bitching to people about whyyy on earth you’re back at the Joiners when it is the personification of the word ‘scummy’.
Classic Joiners characters include Scary Ginger-​Bearded Taxi Man, who wanders around muttering «taxi cab? taxi cab?» to the most nubile young men present. My mate claims that the only time Scary GBT Man switched up this routine was when he muttered «tight virgin? tight virgin?» at him. He remains scarred by this incident. Also of note are Shirtless Pool Boys (not as attractive as they sound) — usually guys who are whacked out on something or the other and have decided that NOW, as in 5 am in the morning, NOW is the time they must take their top off, climb onto a pool table and hump the walls with all their might.
Let me tell you: if you are a girl (gay or straight) or a straight boy, you must preferably be smashed off your tits to tolerate this place. It’s not that it’s unwelcoming to anybody who isn’t a gay man, it’s just that it’s very cruisy. Best avoided. But let’s face it — if you’re still awake after the clubs close, there really isn’t anywhere else to go but the Joiners.

A gay pub that also attracts non gay people mostly from the Hoxton/​Shoreditch scene.
It is on weekends always absolutley packed to a point that it can be difficult to breathe.
When you go outside you’ll find on of the more remarkable things about that pub. A bunch of over zealous door people half of whom are openly homophobic. If you are gay you may find it uncomfortable to overhear a conversation by the door staff that is meant to add a sense of security.
Or perhaps it isn’t. At the end of the night they chase the people away in proper Nazi style. One minute you were in the bar the next you on the street because they decide bang, it’s all over. That’s when the fun begins for the door staff who walk in a line towards the crowd whilst shouting. Even on pavements that do not border the pub. Sticks and torches are missing. As is an awareness about rights and responsibilities. Quite appalling!

Terrifying gay pub on Hackney Road where you can observe drunk and/​or horny trendies stealth cruising. Don’t come here if you’re scared of testosterone, really low cut v-​neck vests and confined spaces as this place always seems to be heaving.
The ridiculous sexually charged atmosphere is kind of funny but after a while I find it a little uncomfortable in there not having a penis.
But otherwise before I feel massively unwelcome I usually have a splendid time.

always great fun on sunday evening.

Not the one of the nicest smelling places with a unisex toilets (in most gay bars), but gets very sweaty, packed and sexy on weekends. On Saturdays open til about 3−4am and after you can head right across the street to the Ol’ Axe– usually a rock-​a-​billy night and open til 6am at which almost everyone from Joiners ends up in.
You will see anything from bum (homeless, not booty bum)-inspired to Balenciaga. Straightest straight to the crazy dress-​up dolls that manage to seduce the straightest man in Hackney!

The Joiner’s Arms has endless charm and is one of the leading gay venues in Hackney. It is small and relaxed, at least when I went there on a Monday night for some Free Jazz (free as in gratis, but also free as in helter-​skelter and off the wall). Apparently Saturdays get completely raucous. I loved the décor, including a pink Union Jack.

Great post-​George & Dragon venue. Drinks are incongruously expensive given that they clearly don’t spend any of their revenue on the décor but when it’s busy you won’t care. More of a muscle Mary crowd than George and Dragon though still plenty of Hoxtonites braving deepest darkest Hackney.

It ain’t the most salubrious of locations, with the Hoxton hobos and Haggerston homies congregating on street corners howling good-​natured abuse. So we find the Joiners Arms, fronted by a battleaxe boxer-​esque bar ‘woman’ who looks like she’s done ten rounds with Mike Tyson. Compact and grubby, this place is always packed. Whilst two people get the pleasure of a quick game of snooker, any other misfortunate walking past gets the delight of a snooker cue in the ribs. Late night Friday and Saturdays bring muscle Marys’ and beer stains, being gay has never been so much fun! Pop on down to nearby George and Dragon for some cleaner entertainment.

Okay, what a dump this place is. From the crappy interior with its beer stained pool tables and the disgusting toilets which you feel you need to be vaccinated against this place is not aiming itself at the pretty boy, immaculately presented gay boy.
Saying that, i can’t say i haven’t had one or two very good nights getting trashed in here. It’s very cruisy, gets very busy and there’s a lack of pretension which is refreshing.
This is not the place to take someone if you’re trying to make an impression but if you’re in the area you could actuallyhave a good time here.

Small, busy and unassuming are all adjectives that you could use to describe this pub; well from the outside anyway! Walk in and it is a very different story. This gay bar gives you everything you expect from such a venue; filthy unisex toilets, a pool table that in the evening is used as just that but come the small hours doubles as a dance platform for the shirtless to gyrate upon. The music is absolutely pumping; special mention should be given to Thursday nights, charmingly named ‘Macho City’ where the men have moustaches and ladies must come equipped with a handbag full of attitude. Drinks are aptly served in plastic cups and are modestly priced for the area (around £3 a pint), the atmosphere can be a little intimidating for first timers and the filth can overtake the fun on occassions but the late night opening (3am daily) means there’s always somewhere to go dance your socks off and get sweaty!