Brockley Mess

The Brockley Mess is a great place for breakfast, brunch or lunch and I can recommend their sandwiches and veggie breakfasts. They also serve lovely loose English Breakfast tea and have some tasty homemade cakes. The outside eating area is super cute and decorated in a really nice way, and the main space has a small gallery that adds extra interest to lunchtime. My only criticism of Brockley Mess is that the service is a little flaky, sometimes it’s wonderful and other times not so much, as well as it always being so busy at lunchtime that sometimes you have to turn back and find somewhere else.

The food is fresh and consistently good, however I sometimes find the service can be hit or miss. Tables are left dirty for ages, and 9 times out 10 I have to ask the staff to give the tables a wipe down.

Great brunch spot. Veggie and kid friendly (but no baby changing facilities). Same guy who runs the excellent Royal Teas in Greenwich where I used to be a regular. Can recommend the patatas bravas or French toast but I’m sure it is all good.

Picture this. It’s a very wet Saturday morning in March. I’ve already been up for 4 hours, cycled 25 minutes in the rain to Brockley and have spent the morning undertaking heavy lifting and loading up a van of a friend’s posessions. Hunger is getting the better of us; grumbling and sarcasm has set in. Time for food.
Right opposite the new house of the said friend is The Brockley Mess. Peering in from the outside I see mismatched furniture, art on the wall, pretty-​young-​things devouring eggs and a huge coffee machine. Perfect.
We ignored the brunch menu, despite it being 11.15am, and went straight for the pies. PIEMINSTER pies no less. I was a happy chappy. Great coffee, funky surrounds and friendly staff. I really like this place.
With our energy levels replenished and good nature restored by the friendly atmosphere, we absolutely smashed through the unloading of the van.
This was my first visit, and I do hope they’ve addressed some of Peter’s previous concerns since his visit in 2009, as I suspect this could be quite a regular haunt for me.

I’ve been visiting the Brockley Mess for almost a year since I moved to Ladywell and became pregnant with my first child. Until recently, it has proved a relaxed and convenient place for myself and my other new mummy friends to convene over a weekly lunch with our 3 – 4 month old babies. Sadly, the Brockley Mess is only superficially child-​friendly at best. Whilst there is ample space for buggies and high-​chairs are provided, the male proprietor has now shown his true colours as someone who is not at all tolerant of, or accommodating towards, children. There are no nappy changing facilities in this café. This of itself is not a problem and hasn’t phased my friends nor I in the past. As the toilet is too small and, in any event, not a safe place to change baby’s nappy (you would need to put the baby on the toilet seat cue rolling and smashed little heads) we elected to discreetly change our babies’ wet (not soiled) nappies on the bench on which we sat (appropriately covered with baby blankets and nappy change mats, and armed with a packet-​full of sanitising wipes), protected and camouflaged on all sides by our own bodies. This has proved successful in the past with no diners being at all bothered by this. Today, however, the owner told us not to change our babies in the café. At all. Ever. When we pointed out that there is nowhere else to change out little ones he told us in no uncertain terms to either go home and change them or not bother coming into his café at all. He also pulled a face when I breastfed my baby. He was then overheard telling two customers (who hadn’t complained at all) that he didn’t want his café smelling like baby s**t. What a disgusting attitude towards the very people who sustain his business throughout the day (the café is usually full of mums with young babes during the day). The proprietor is not so much concerned to protect his customers’ interests as to ensure that he is not confronted by children for whom he has a clear dislike. He has elected not to provide baby changing facilities so it is patently obvious that he is not interested in attracting young families to his premises. I refuse to spend another penny in there (indeed, I’m not allowed to stay on the premises if God forbid my child happens to need changing while I’m out) and I am sure that once word gets out the many parents from surrounding Brockley, Ladywell and Lewisham will also be boycotting the place.

My brother first introduced me to The Brockley Mess (god bless him) Whenever im working nearby i will ALWAYS go there for lunch. Everything in the menu is spectacular, but my favorite is the scrambled egg on toast — so creamy — its to die for!:) The daily soup is also an excellent choice, filling and extremely tasty!
At last a café that sells both Rooibos tea and the staff actually have the barista skills to make your dream latte/​cappuccino.
Dont take any notice of the one bad review (unsure what happened there) check it out for yourself — you will NOT be disappointed. :)

The Brockley Mess opened in September 2009 in the space formerly occupied by local favourite Moonbow Jakes. The Mess has gone for a different approach to its predecessor, opting for a more brightly lit, art gallery cum café approach. It serves up excellent brunches, cooked meals and coffee and cakes throughout the day and free wifi is also offered.
The Mess definitely has its strong points. The food is good (particularly their cakes which come highly recommended!), the service reasonable and it’s very accessible and receptive for buggies and young children. However, with a current closing time of 6pm it’ll likely be off-​limits for most professionals on weekdays (bafflingly so). They also seem to stop serving food at around 3pm which can be inconvenient. Finally, the acoustics haven’t been well-​thought out either, which, combined with the cries of excited young children, can make it quite deafening at times.
But overall it’s a welcome addition to Brockley’s café scene, and worth stopping by if you find it open. Hopefully it’ll extend its opening hours and culinary range at some point soon.

I have added the Brockley Mess to Qype purely to express my extreme dissatisfaction. Never has such a chaotic café been so aptly named. However, that in itself would not deter me from a place. What is really galling is the idiocy and rudeness of the staff there, who seem unable to do anything but quote their ‘policy’ of not allowing extra tables to be placed in their ‘gallery’ (ie the empty space at the back of the café that looks like it has been forgotten about). Not a good start to a new café. Much better to go to the Toad’s mouth down the road. At least they know how to crack a smile.

A fresh and inspiring new café.
A wide range of very reasonably priced lunches and dinners.
Friendly service and all round great place!