Five Guys Burgers and Fries

Popped into Five Guys Guildford to reward the hubs for accompanying me on a last minute Christmas shopping venture.
Not sure what people are expecting here. Yes, it’s fast food. Go in knowing that, and enjoy what is probably the best fast food burger available. Yes, it’s slightly pricey. What isn’t, in this country (other than a £1 McD’s)?
Five Guys is a US import. And while British beef is definitely different to American beef (sorry, everyone… American beef reigns supreme), Five Guys in Guildford is exactly what you can expect from any US Five Guys. Fabulously fresh burgers made to order with a wide variety of toppings to choose from which are all equally fresh and free to add, and more fries than you can handle.
Funny enough, I heard someone griping about the mess of fries at the bottom of their bag. That’s just how Five Guys does it. They stick a cup in the bottom of the bag, and just toss a shedload of fries in. Some of them make it in the cup, some of them don’t, but you’ve got a plethora of some of the most crisp and delicious fries on the planet.
Next time I venture to Guildford on a shopping spree and need a quick bite to eat which will pleasantly remind me of home, I’ll be in Five Guys.

Expensive fast food. Nothing special. Atmosphere is nice but waiting times for food can be exceptionally long even when quiet.

Says a lot when you take the kids there for a birthday meal and the majority refuse to eat the food, maybe got them on a bad day however suggested it to my daughter today and the look said it all.

Not great for vegetarians– you can just have burger toppings in a bun. Chips are good though :)

AVOID!
Similar, I assume, to the teeming masses who were queuing virtually out the door on both of my visits to this overrated eatery, I was suckered in by the fabled allure of ‘real American fast food!’.
After queuing for what felt like an age (and almost slipping on the plethora of peanut shells leading from the cardboard bedpan of complimentary nuts to the front desk deposited by the charming couple in front — think Hansel and Grettel in adidas tracksuits) I arrived at the desk, lowering my eyes to the menu.
At around a tenner a burger (and £4-​ish for chips) I was expecting a sit down, knife and fork, Gourmet Burger Kitchen-​esque experience with a waiter and a nice, relaxing atmosphere (which, at a similar price to GBK, is not too much to ask). Instead, I was treated to a feeble lump of unidentified, anaemic roadkill tucked in between a pair of thin, slippery buns, saturated in what can most accurately be described as the product of wringing Eric Pickles’ chins into a saucepan and leaving to simmer. Dining here unspokenly requires a full surgeon’s uniform (latex gloves and all), necessitated not only by the literally dripping mess clamped between my now-​wrinkled fingers, but by the migraine-​inducing lighting, rendering the ‘Five Guy’s Experience’ remarkably similar to what I can only imagine dining in the St. Peter’s maternity ward would be like.
Eating the chips was a nostalgic experience, accurately reminiscent of biting your tongue halfway through a packet of salt & vinegar discos. The burger was limp, soggy and — on the contrary to the framed sponsored articles plastered on the walls — totally tasteless.
All in all, dining at Five Guys was a wholly surreal experience. Never before had I eaten anything with so little taste. Without exaggeration, breathing tastes better than Five Guys. I would recommend five guys only for the experience of eating something that literally tastes of nothing at all (that, and the drinks machine. That’s actually quite cool).
General verdict: avoid.

Amazing American fast food restaurant! A bit expensive but it’s very, very delicious! Notice on the menu but it’s a burger joint so what can you expect other than burgers! Great selection of drinks!

I previously wrote in a review that fast food would never get a high review from me… well, that was before Five Guys.
We had an American Five Guys in California [reviewed previously] and it was the best burger I’d ever had. I was delighted (although a little skeptical) when I heard that they had made it across the pond and that they would be opening in Guildford, one of my favourite shopping haunts.
We visited in December and it was just as good as the burger we had in the American branch — excellent. We had learnt from our previous mistake and only ordered one small fries to share — this was more than enough. We got the plain ones because even though we love spicy food, their spicy fries just don’t hit the spot.
My only complaint is that it was quite expensive. We paid £25 here for two burgers, one fries, and one drink and $ 22 (£14.50 in today’s money) in America for two burgers, two fries, and two drinks (more food + drink). So it is quite pricey compared to America AND of course expensive for a burger, but it’s not somewhere we will go to more than two-​three times per year, so it’s worth it.
I was pleased to see that the décor was the same, the help-​yourself peanuts were present, and the 100+ varieties of help-​yourself unlimited drinks machine was there. It was all very authentic. Top notch.