Goals Soccer Centre

Goals is my local five a side centre. I have played there a few times, made a fool of myself: but I can say that falling over on the AstroTurf doesn’t hurt too much.
Goals is pretty busy all day– it is floodlit, so even late night matches happen. During the day, the shouts of young and middle-​aged men fill the air, and the passion of amateur football is palpable.
Glasgow is a football-​mad city, and it is no surprise that Goals is a social, as well as sports, complex: it is the best place for an after-​work team building session, and the games that I have watched, idly, look pretty hotly contested. Frankly, I am too scared to go back over the fence, as the sounds of taunting laughter still echo.

It pains me to say that my amateur football 5 a side career petered out too soon after my transition from howler-​prone liability to highly organised and disciplined right back /​midfielder, but it certainly wasn’t Goals’ fault.
Aimed at more of the social than the serious footballer, it’s used a lot by work /​pub teams many of whom are probably there as much for the post-​match piss up than the game itself. The venue does it’s job well, with floodlighting and pitches in good condition.
It’s surprisingly expensive though, and if LaserQuest was still open you could probably have an even better, more competitive riot for the same price.

Perhaps all that is wrong with Scottish football can be summed up by one sign which appeared in the doorway of Goals football complex in Shawlands a couple of years ago; «All players will receive a FREE plate of pakora with their pint.»
That’s right. Having done your weekly workout, Goals feels you should reward yourself with alcohol, and in turn, they will reward you with a deep fried treat. After all, you deserve it.
This, of course, shouldn’t come as surprise given the complex is one of the many in the city, and indeed the country, which opened with the belief a bar adjoined to 5-​a-​side football courts was a match made in heaven. Judging by the waistlines of around 80% of the players, many others do too.
However even for those who choose to forgo an after match pint, this particular centre fails to be the sporting resource it should be.
Expensive, with slow, overly-​compact pitches it represents extremely poor value for money and appears only to survive due to its convenience for Southsiders.