The Western Bar

Cripes! Did anyone know that this was a Gentleman’s Club? Regardless it warrants a fair review.
Understand that this is NOT Spearmint Rhino, it has not been designed from the ground up to serve the stripping needs of its desperately ugly clientele. It is in fact a bar, a bar «converted» to be used as a strip club.
The problems inherent with this type of conversion are well documented and I am sure you are already familiar with them, The Western Bar in particular has fallen foul to some of the most basic problems within the «Bar to Strip Club» design challenges.
The Western Bar is narrow but reasonably long in size. As you enter you will discover that it has one main area, the bar runs along the right hand side of this area and is quite long, leaving, for the most part, a narrow galley of standing room for it clients. Sandwiched in-​between these customer’s are the scantily clad working girls, performing the usual task of attempting to wrangle these freaks into one of the ‘Stripping Cubicle’s’.
I am quite a perceptive man, on entering the bar I quickly realised that within the narrow confines of the client standing area there was little personal space to be found amongst the horde of sweating, horny men all jostling for position around the indifferent strippers. I spied a clearing of space at the very end of the bar, this was right next to the booths were the ‘magic’ happens, me and Alan headed over. It was the lesser of two evils.
After my criminally overpriced pint of warm piss eventually turned up I happened to notice that the booth next to me was occupied, the curtain bulging in time with ‘The Thong Song’. This was when I personally fell victim to the most unforgivable design error of this place!!!
Moments later, whilst discussing with Alan what an unbelievable pair of bell-​ends we were for being there I was jabbed in the ankle by something sharp, on looking down I discovered to my horror that it was in fact a ladies high heeled shoe that had been thrust into me. This shoe was attached to a foot which was in turn attached to a leg which was in turn attached to the massive bare arse of a woman! The woman was on ‘all fours’ and her lower half had extended out beyond the confines of the booth and under the curtain.
Clearly the booths in this place were not long enough to accommodate even this most basic of simulated sex acts which led, to my disgust, to me being jabbed and ‘winked’ at by the lower portions of a woman I had not been formally introduced too!
In disgust I asked a female member of staff to accompany me on a personal inspection of one of these booths which clearly must breach some sort of laws around working conditions! Three and a half minutes later Alan and I left, desperately unimpressed and £40 lighter.
I have attached a semi-​technical drawing of the booth and occupant to illustrate this problem (see photos).