Poundstretcher

Most of my kitchen utensils, pots and pans, bedding, bed sheets, towels and plant-​potting-​paraphernalia comes from pound stretcher, it is my ‘limbo’ shop.
The main reason for this is I was quite broke when I moved here and kitted myself out, hence ‘limbo shop’. I have been slow to replace things as I tend to only replace broken or destroyed things and most of the stuff I bought here has held up quiet well. The secondary reason for this is that my landlord is clearly a fan of the place too.
Finally, as a cat owner, I can’t have nice things.
This is a great shop if you need a random pair of knitting needles, or a muffin maker, or socks fast and you couldn’t be bothered shopping around, again ‘limbo shop’.
I wouldn’t buy anything too big in here though as I would have a distrust of anything they sell for over £20.

When you are setting yourself up in Edinburgh there are things you are going to need: a mop, a broom, clothes rack, peeler, grater, etc and you’ll find them all here.
Whilst being one of the very cheapest places to get these items you don’t sacrifice quality by coming here — everything from here isn’t some cheap rubbish that will break. Instead you get sturdy, but simple products (though I don’t recommend the cheapest mop).
When setting yourself up there really isn’t a better place that offers such a good range of goods for such good prices.

A few years back I moved into a flat that hadn’t yet had a shower fitted, and since I tend to view a bath as effectively sitting in your own lukewarm, putrid filth for half an hour, a challenging dilemma arose. Either go back to my mum’s every day for a scrub, or grow steadily more revolting and tramplike each day until our pot-​smoking cowboy of a plumber decided to finally turn up for his shift.
Thankfully, Poundstretcher had the solution, for the princely sum of 3 notes. A shower head that plugged into the bath faucet. «More powerful than an electric shower» it said on the box, and dreams of a cleansing like never before drifted into my thoughts. Maybe I wouldn’t even need that drug ravaged plumber, it all seemed to good to be true.
And it was. On the very rare occasion that the connector didn’t immediatelty pop out from the tap, the pressure of the water was roughly equivalent to the trickle down Grandad’s leg after his third sherry at Christmas. I was, quite literally trying to wash myself with a leaky tap.
Just for those few days of excitement, when I thought a few quid had solved all my life’s ills, I will always love Poundie’s. The kings of worthless tat.

The thing I love about pound stores is that you always feel better after walking by one. There is a good chance then that you are neither a) unemployed b) in possession of a stale and foosty odour or c) the dregs of society.
Intrigue got the better of me in the case of Poundstretcher on Lothian Road as I needed a few odds and ends, so I donned a hooded top and rubbed dirt over my face so as to fit in with the likely clientele, and after doing a walk past to make sure no-​one was around who may be able to identify me, I returned and entered.
Fascinating. This is not a pound store. The array of goods is mind-​blowing. It wasn’t all cheap shite either. Brand names were abundant and the products I picked up neither fell apart in my hands nor bore the SOS message of some illegal immigrant working in a sweatshop in Bradford who was looking for rescue.
A number of the people working there were actually friendly and as far as I could tell happy. I saw neither a shelf stacker with his trousers pulled up to his arm pits and all the tell-​tale signs of special needs, nor a morbidly obese cashier with body odour that you could chew.
Fair enough you have to have a good look about the place to find what you’re after, and there appears to be very little in the way of order, but you can entertain yourself in there for hours. The other shoppers generally looked respectable, and had used their bargain priced soaps and detergents to good effect.
It’s quite easy to take the wrong attitude towards shops like this, even though they are clearly doing something right. A change of name would do them no harm to stop dim witts like me making characteristically shortsighted and poorly conceived judgements about the quality of the store and it’s sizeable customer base. I’ll have a word with myself tonight after I look in the mirror and remark on what a repellent human being I’ve become.