Pizza Paradise

Left this place and felt like I had to write my first review at Unilocal.All so I could give it 0 stars. Unfortunately it’s not possible.
Just don’t go. Terrible food, horrible wine and extremely rude staff.

Kebabs are really greasy. We took us back to the hotel, and the paper was literally dripping with liquid when we arrived.
The staff are unorganized and rude. Someone who arrived after me and ordered the exact same thing was served before me. I asked the staff about the status of my food, and he got really defensive. Turns out that the staff had miscommunicated and my order was just lost.
Pros:
Open late
Generous with meat
Will not return

Wish I could give this place 0 stars, as I didn’t actually get to eat anything! It was about 10:30 at night and the place was open for several more hours when we walked in. We were hoping to just get some drinks and dessert before heading home. We tried to order, and the waitress said «No, you need to order something to eat:. We said «we’d like 2 banana splits». She said «sorry, that’s not enough, you need to order more». So were said «so you refuse to serve us then?» Without apology she just said «yes» and walked away.
Now, the restaurant was not crowded… there were at least 4 or 5 empty tables. It was late at night, and what we were ordering would have been over 18 quid, more than a single meal there. So what is the big deal? Below I see another person left a review saying that they were refused service for not ordering enough.
NEVER visit this restaurant if you actually want to eat something.

I had a quattro pizza and a quarter of it –the quarter with salami-​was good. The rest was pretty average-​not horrible but not great either. A bit pricey for the quality…

Okay, so the food’s pretty average and the service is rugged, but I’m throwing 3 stars at these guys for reliability and the fact that they’re in an area of town which is an eating wasteland. Awful, fake chain pubs are everywhere around here, so at least the food at Pizza Paradise is simple, consistent, cheap and reliable. And they’re open all night. It may just be you’re only option in the culinary apocalypse of Royal Mile…

Pizza Paradise is an example of mediocrity at its finest. Sure, it’s cheap. But so is microwave pizza from the Tesco down the street. Which I’m not entirely sure they aren’t just using for their pizzas.
I mean, how can a pizza be ready in under FIVE MINUTES from placing your order to having it at your table? Points for speed, but no pizza can be assembled by hand and cooked in that short a time.

Never eat here in the day time, why would you? The food is awful and it’s a hilarious irony that this place calls itself a Pizzeria.
It is however open late at night, yet no amount of alcohol can mask the awful quality of the food here. I’ve sat in once and the food was no better than some sort of jumped up tuck shop with a faulty oven. The Pizza is bad and they should feel bad.

Its the worst place i have ever been in !!! very bad food, bad service unless you are drunk :))

A terrible place to eat but a fantastic place for social observation, Pizza Paradise attracts a mainly loutish, late-​night crowd of hostile and shifty looking drunks. Local bars around this part of town can be surprisingly seedy despite an extensive tourist presence and after chucking out-​time, plenty of bottom-​feeders and local neds make this their last stop.
Dangerous and poor quality, but never a dull moment.

It’s the only place open serving hot food after 1am in the city centre.
Now that I’ve finished listing any of this place’s good points, let me start the much lengthier task of listing what’s bad about it.
For one thing, why it calls itself a pizzeria I do not know. The only people who eat here are the barely-​old-​enough-​to-​drink chavs that stumble up from City at kicking-​out time to spend their last fiver on junk food, only to then sit on the pavement and cry when they realise they now have no money for a taxi home.
And for another thing, if you do find yourself in a situation where you need (‘need’ being the key word there) to get food from here in the wee hours the queue is always ridiculous. When I used to work in a nightclub I would pass this place on my way home, and on one occasion my grumbling tummy got the better of me. So I decided to wait in the queue. Twenty minutes later — by which time I could have been home — the queue still hadn’t moved. In fact, all that had happened was the following…
1) 2 chav girls had a screaming row from opposite sides of the street
2) a chav guy peed in the adjacent doorway
3) a worryingly young-​lookig chav girl drunkenly vomited in the same doorway a few minutes later.
Funnily enough, at that point I gave up and walked home. I’d lost my appetite.

I questioned the existence of this place for a long time, as I couldn’t believe an Italian restaurant would stay open until 5am! I put it down to my friend’s wishful imagination.
So guess my surprise when after a night out, she led our group there at 3am! The queue was incredibly long, so we abandoned the idea for that night, but have since been back to sample the menu. It’s the typical Italian offerings of pizza and pasta with quite a few risotto dishes as well. What is unusual is the list of burgers and kebabs right next to it! I suppose this is geared towards the after-​midnight serving period!
The pizza I had there was quite good, but I’d say this place is best saved for the end of a night out, when the smell of grease and the idea if Italian food will satisfy anyone!

My first impression upon entering Pizza Paradise was that it is confused as to whether it is trying to be predominantly a standard restaurant or a takeaway. The place is clean and the table inside have classy menus sitting on them. Having said this, there are pizza delivery boxes piled high on the front counter and it stays open till 3am with a burly bouncer manning the door (?)!
The food, however, indicates that it is a takeaway, and not a good one at that. I had a pepperoni pizza which tasted like the topping had been made with pepperamis and cheese-​strings. To its credit the menu has a wide selection of pizzas and also sells burgers with a variety of fillings. Moreoever, it is all reasonably cheap and this could account for the low quality.
If your feeling hungry on your way back from a night out then pizza paradise will suffice, but I wouldn’t recommend it for a meal out.

Like previous Unilocalers, I was appalled by the service and grittiness of this place. I usually like places which are both sit-​in and take-​away (ie. Palmyra I am looking at you) but this place is just confusing– it’s pretending to be a restaurant and a greasy chippy at the same time. At around 2am we were glared at by the bouncer (?!) and the guy serving us was talking to his mate and certainly took his time. I was hoping the food was half decent. It wasn’t.
Mind you I don’t really expect too much from chippies (grease just tastes good when especially when merry) but the prices were far too high and the place just pretending to be something it’s not (ie an Italian restaurant on one side).
There are plenty of chipies and restaurants in the area so I wouldn’t come here again any time soon.

I agree with Amy G, this place is rubbish!
My brothers excitedly told me to go here whenever I am on my way home from a night out because when they had been here they had met Party Boy from Jackass. Yeah ok. When I did eventually make it there, it was grotty, small and full of people just watching me. What’s up with that? I was with my friend after a night out and we both ordered Chicken Pakora and were going to sit in and eat it, but upon seeing all the boxes of half-​eaten food and drunks lolling around beside it, we decided against it. The food was horrible, really chewy and had no taste. We wern’t impressed, and even less so when we went back another time for chips — how can you get chips wrong?! Maybe we should have tried the Pizza — it is their speciality… but i dread to think…

This place is rubbish!
Last night on the way home from the pub, a group of us were feeling the need for some munch. So Edinburgh being Edinburgh, there is nowhere open for food apart from this place. The takeaway part is closed so you have to use the restaurant. Which at 2am is a bit weird and annoying. Plus they have a bouncer on the door of the restaurant who grills you before he will decide if you can come in or not. WTF is this place all about?
So after being granted entry we take a seat and turns out the menu is proper restaurant, Italian food. We were kind of hoping for some chips, but it was fine we decided to order some pizzas. The guy comes over and takes our order and he’s like:
«I can’t do this, you haven’t ordered enough food.»
So we order some desserts too, and he still refuses us. How much frickin food do we have to order? It’s 2am for goodness sake!
Seriously, wtf? There is like two other tables in and you are turning away business? IN THIS ECONOMY! So we left. And won’t be back.
The menu was overpriced anyway, for what was a glorified take away. AVOID.

Not to be confused with the wonderful Pizza Paradise on George IV Bridge, Pizza Paradise on South Bridge is a pretty crap faux-​Italian restaurant pizzaria, that frankly isnt that great.
Pizza’s are greasy, tough and a bit flavourless, and the other offers on the menu arent that great either — in fact, all of the food is, while still worthy of eating, not the tastierst or most satisfying food I have ever had. The restaurant itself is pretty non-​descript, just a bog standard Italian restaurant — nothing too special.
There is however, one good point for Pizza Paradise, and its enough to earn it a full extra star. The menu has a huge choice, and is cahnged quite regularly so theres no chance you wont be able to find something you want to try.

more like pizza hell! this place is suitable – and just barely– for all the drunken late-​night revelers pouring out of the myriad nearby pubs with guts-​a-​grumblin’. to be fair, they have more than pizza and those other offerings may well be better, and we are in the UK here so the overall quality of pizza is rather abysmal, but i was sober when i ate here and i can say that it’s got to get better than this so far as late-​night eats go in this town. it’s got to. right?

The main attraction here is its late opening times — stumbling out of a club at ten to three and looking for a takeaway, pizza paradise is always there for you. Halfway back to pollock halls/​newington/​marchmont from the clubs of new town, this place never fails to draw in groups of hungry drunk students. I’ve never had a sober taste of their food, so can’t really judge, but to be honest it doesn’t matter. It’s there when you need it and in the right place.