Kings Theatre

Yer Granny
Tue 2 to Sat 6 June 2015
King’s Theatre
7.30pm
The National Theatre of Scotland’s star studded cast takes on award-​winning Scottish playwright Douglas Maxwell’s version of Roberto La Cossa’s, La Nona. The Argentinian comedy classic, has been relocated to a flat above a failed chip shop in Glasgow. This is 1977, the year of the Queen’s Silver Jubilee, an era of turbulent economics and the pre Thatcher recession.
We are welcomed by a highly detailed 1970s stage set design. The hideously 70’s patterned stained walls have been manufactured in such a way creating the illusion of perspective. In hobbles Granny scoffing a family size packet of crisps. Played by Gregor Fisher and as endearingly repulsive as his Rab C Nesbitt, Nana clearly has an unyielding appetite. The housewife, daughter-​in-​law Marie (Maureen Beattie) nervously and frantically cooks the Russo’s family meal, as Nana devours the last few crumbs and eagerly looks around for her next course.
Cameron or Cammy, husband to Marie (Jonathan Watson) has big dreams to re-​open his chip shop, The Minerva Fish Bar, in time for the royal Jubilee and re-​enacts his imaginary meeting with the Queen over a sausage.
Auntie Angela’s (Barbara Rafferty) failed courtship with the families rival chip shop owner, Donnie Francisco (Brian Pettifer) means she resides with the Russo’s now. Angela’s a prim but dithery and innocent spinster who feels she is a financial hindrance to the family, yet blindly encourages Cammy’s brother, Charlie’s (Paul Riley) musical non-​talent, a camouflage for his work-​shy lazy attitude.
Airhead blonde daughter, Marissa, (Louise McCarthy) who would literally do anything to be her daddy’s wee lamb, proudly works for a Zen ‘chemist’ who — unknown to her — is actually a drug dealer!
All the while the plot line develops, granny is slumped in a seat consuming buns, crisps, toast, biscuits, stew or picking and eating crumbs between the folds of her clothes. Devouring every last morsel like an ill-​mannered hog. When she’s not eating food, she’s talking about food!
As the poor struggling married couple, Marie and Cammy, discuss their financial problems, granny obliviously but happily licks the icing off a cake hidden by Marie. Marie exclaims Charlie needs to sign on and either Granny goes or her! One by one members of the family begin to realise Nana is the problem. At the ripe old age of 100 she shows no signs of decline despite brother Charlie’s best efforts. Charlie bribes Nana to visit the shows for candy, but devilishly leaves her there. The family anxiously search for her, she’s nowhere to be seen, Charlie attempts to persuade the family of their newly found freedom just as Nana returns full of joy with a lollypop… Cameron turns to Charlie and says «Maybe it’s time to take it to the next level…»
After the interval, the living room is noticeably considerably bare, evidence of Marie’s desperate attempts to sell household possessions to make money. Auntie Angela in an attempt to prove her worth unsuspectingly helps Marissa sell ‘energy pills’ and becomes delirious after taking some! Meanwhile brother Charlie comes up with a master plan involving the old perverted and horny enemy Donnie Francisco. Marie leaves in disgust, bailiffs take all their possessions and the family falls apart. And finally with every one of nana’s family either dead or fled, a pool of light shines down on her and she ogles the audience and repeats… «Whits that yiv got?!»
A surreal and hilarious piece loaded with surprises, 70’s sexism and economic realism we can still relate to today.

Funny as panto is, the shows are always marred by a tinge of sadness. The washed up ex-​soap actors on stage are often literally dead behind the eyes, and you know that in a couple of years when you read about their suicide in the corner of page 35 of The Daily Star, that their stint in panto was probably one of the deciding factors. Their agent told them it’d be Broadway, instead it was the King’s, halfheartedly spitting out dated innuendo to a half empty auditorium, scattered with drunk dinner ladies, bored schoolkids and gay irony peddlers.
The bleakness of panto is perhaps what I love most about it, and thus I often find watching a former celebrity’s descent into the depths still to be a highlight in The King’s busy lineup. As you’d expect, the rest of the material on offer here tends to go down the mainstream route, which is often preferable to the gratuitous nudity and feminist messages you’ll be relentlessly subjected to on the artier side if the scene. Great traditional décor too, and all round just a pretty wonderful place.

I saw a few shows there and I always like to go back for more, not only because I really like this old theater inside and out.
The interior and exterior are both mystic and spooky in its own way. Being one of the last to leave after a show really lets you explore this place. Walk up and down the stairs and take in the presence of old time past.
Apparently the theater was founded around 1850 and pretty much still display, or seem to, all its original features: boisterous chandeliers, large stair cases, red carpets and curtains, amazing architecture and lustrous statues.
It is is also true that the seats are not the most comfortable or that it is not always easy to see the screen with people sitting infront of you or that the downstairs hallways are quite tight and could cause claustrophobic feelings. But this should not be a reason to miss out on a spectacular show only because you are not into old places.