The Swallow Bakery

After a relaxing stay at Hotel du Vin nearby we were craving something sweet as a treat before driving back up north. Unilocal suggested here, which was perfect for what we wanted. A Chai latte, pot of tea, healthy flapjack and double chocolate muffin hit the spot. Friendly staff, comfortable setting, free WiFi, plenty of newspapers handy and seating outside for when the sun came out. Seems popular with the locals, in particular the students.
The food was fresh and tasty, with options for healthy or indulgent on the menu. We will definitely head back when we are next in Cheltenham.

When it comes to coffee & cake shops, there are things that you can forgive and there are things that stick in your throat.
I can often, and easily, forgive expensive bakeries on the understanding that everything is homemade and fresh, and MY GOD are the cakes here homemade and fresh! Massive iced loaves of banana bread and chocolate marble cake line the tops of the counters, flanked by huge lemon drizzle cakes with zesty water icing dribbling down the sides. At the end of one counter sits 3 or 4 multi-​layered cakes thick with butter icings, while beside the till is a tray packed with mouth-​watering cupcakes and muffins. When you ask them for a slice of something, the staff have to heave these behemoths down from the display with both hands and use large industrial bread knives to cut them thickly. So big, in fact, are the slices offered to you that twice I ordered the iced banana bread and marble cake for my boyfriend and I, and twice they lay half eaten while we rubbed our poor tummys.
It’s a glutton’s idea of heaven and, although I can taste the diabetes just from recounting the details, you really feel like you’re getting a lot of cake for your money. There’s no space here for elegant portions or pretty piping — the Swallow Bakery is all about big, sweet and fresh from the oven.
There are, however, some things that can’t be forgiven. Like watery, weak coffee with burnt soy milk, which did literally stick in my throat. The coffee really was terrible. This was such a sad discovery, as i’m not a coffee snob and can be just as happy with a boring filter coffee as with an artisan roast americano. Although I did return for more cake, I never returned for more coffee, and although this wasn’t a deal breaker when ordering to take away, it would definitely put me off sitting in.
That is if I would ever be able to get seated anyway. Swallow seem to be doing so well for themselves that at lunchtime on a week day it was absolutely packed and just getting out after paying was a bit of an assault course.
If I ever find myself back in Cheltenham I’ll definitely give Swallow’s coffee another go, and in the meantime i’ll just have to daydream about their cakes!

A lovely place to go for some lunch. Really nice food and drink, and good value for money. Nice little atmosphere.

My wife and I were looking for a late breakfast. Fortunately we were able to slide in here just before they switched over to their lunch menu at 11. The service was a bit scattered but friendly and generally quick. The food was also all over the map. The latte was basically a glass of warm milk and the granola with warm milk and maple syrup came out with cold milk and fake syrup. However, the toast and scones were delicious and the granola was excellent (even without warm milk or syrup).
So, I’m willing to give them another try, but I might just skip their breakfast and stick to the baked goods.

I am mad crazy about visiting bakeries for tea and cake. I’ll describe it as a hobby, if that doesn’t make me sound like an absolute glutton.
Anyway, my beady eyes spied this place on my way into Cheltenham when I was visiting for a wedding. The following day I scuttled out of the torrential rain for a cosy seat and some tea and cake.
Disappointment number 1: seats are uncomfy and the space isn’t very cosy at all
This was pretty much immediately forgiven when I saw the gorgeous display of cakes and cupcakes and pastries and mini loaves and meringues and cookies. Yuuum! I was so excited! And indecisive! Admittedly to the point of annoyance, to which the staff did nothing to disguise. Settled on a red velvet cupcake for me and a strawberry cupcake for my boyfriend. Tea for him, macchiato for me because I needed a serious wake up after wedding craziness.
Disappointment number 2: macchiato was not the teeny tiny espresso sized coffee it should be, but half a big cupful.
Disappointment number 3: my red velvet cake was a) not red, but brown and b) stale. I didn’t finish it. That’s A Big Deal. Dec’s strawberry cupcake had a lovely flavour but the fresh strawberry through the cake had made the sponge gloopy.
Gutted.
They sell nice cake stands and sweets and crockery if you’re looking for a cute gift, which I was and I did purchase and the recipients were pleased.

A perfect addition to the Montpelier area of Cheltenham this, with its dainty little cakes, loose tea and other ‘posh’ nibbles on offer. But the main attraction for many will be the Butterfly Bakery-​esque cupcakes that are lined up in a display cabinet. What’s not to like?!
I have to say that I was tempted away from the cupcakes by an individually baked lemon meringue pie. Oh deary me, it was the last one available but if there were more I would have smashed through a second it was that lovely. Chewy, just browning meringue on top of a creamy, sweet and very lemony base made to make your mouth water!
The girlfriend went for Banana Cake which was moist and bananery — made of yum.
We were impressed by the décor, which was modern, clean and functional. No cozy seats though, disappointingly, just tables for 2 or 4 and a raised bar along the window.
Like I said, a cracking addition to an already well-​serviced area of town where competition is stiff. Its uniqueness will, I’m certain, continue to attract people with kids, ‘soccer mom’ types and those with girlfriends with a weird cupcake fetish…