Metro Cafe

A Bristol institution… cheap n cheerfull
OK. in a world of posh nosh cafes this is an old school greasy spoon… no gluten free cupcakes served here!
What is served is a huge plate of traditional fry-​up style breakfasts… with a smile and usually a gossip. This is a place where you get your own cutlery and they will remember your order the next time you visit.
The plates are huge and cheap… and that’s it… the toilet light never works, the tables are wonky, there is nothing but the Sun to read and you always leave full and with a smile.
Go back to your roots n order a metro!

Metro Café is a cheap and cheerful old-​school caff that knows that a plate doesn’t need to be garnished in order to be special. If it’s vitamins that you want, you’re in the wrong place, but if you want to eat enough protein to last you a week for less than a fiver you’re in luck! The all day breakfast is made with an unerring adherence to the tried and tested formulae that gets it blacklisted in the coronary health and wellbeing guidebook. Perfect. It’s delicious. And as long as you don’t succumb to the temptation of eating one every day of your life, coupled with taking up an active sport, say dominos or something of that ilk, you should be just fine.

I remember as a child going on a long bike ride through the woods with my best mate and his dad. Afterwards we were treated to breakfast in a traditional greasy spoon café. Mugs of tea, tabloid newspapers and a fog of cigarette smoke so thick you could barely see the door. This, I thought, was where the real men ate.
The Metro Café, for me, is an echo of this childhood dream. Long since have cigarettes been banished from cafes but the atmosphere is still there. The Metro has a good selection of breakfasts ranging from the working man’s slap-​up nosh to the higher end numbers. Each plate is stuffed with good slices of bacon, sausages, hash browns, Winston Churchill and three lions. Mugs of tea and coffee come as standard and each table is fully stocked with salt, pepper, tomato and (most importantly) HP sauce.
Don’t feel obliged to call everyone Geezer, Chief and Bruv but I’m sure it won’t do any ‘arm. Nice one.

The Metro Café provides a refreshing alternative to Gloucester Road’s more showy eateries. With its straightforward bearing and special offers splurged in bold type across the windows, this place doesn’t do frills. I had a fry up here the other morning, and it really hit the spot: the eggs were perfectly done and the bacon was just the right amount crispy. Furthermore, it was probably half the price of what you’d expect to pay in the majority of cafes in this area. Staff were friendly and down to earth and there was a breakfast time buzz in the air. Lovely.

My prevailing memory of Metro Café is the stonking all day breakfast baguette I stuffed my face with one Saturday morning after not much sleep. Elegant. Their perfectly fried eggs, crisp bacon and real meaty sausages are, in my mind, the best hangover cure on earth (aside from not drinking anything in the first place — most sensible). And all for less than five of your English pounds.
Metro is a long way up Gloucester Road (closer to Sainsbury’s local than to the city centre), and you can spot it by the elaborate grafitti that coats its side wall. Not your typical greasy spoon, under the sign on a New York metro — they serve half-​decent coffee and a good builder’s brew and the veggie options will fill the tums of our non-​meat eating friends.