Mobi’kids

Super endroit pour les gamins, équipe accueillante et professionnelle, espace de jeux adapté pour tous. Restauration rapide sur place.

This place is a stay-​at-​home mom’s DREAM.
I’ve never seen my nephew get more excited than when going here was dangled in front of his face. He started to get grumpy on an outing last week, and my sister said the words «kiddie park» to him and he was an instant angel for the rest of the day. I’ve never seen a kid that motivated to be good before in my life. Like seriously. It was almost as if she had whispered, «Disneyworld,» in his freaking ear.
This place is like WHOA. For less than ten bucks, your kid has unlimited run of this GIANT kid play place. It is a McDonald’s Play Place on crack, heroin, and Ecstasy at the same time. The play place itself is as big as an entire McDonald’s. It’s a maze of slides, ball pits, basketball, bouncy rooms, tunnels, trampolines, bridges, and other lawsuit-​worthy delights. Kids ditch their shoes and dive in. It’s INSANE. Like nothing I’ve ever seen before. Not only that, but they also had little random side rooms, including a room that was modeled to look like a dance club. Strobe lights and dance music blasted while kids jumped around, rhythmless. Hilarious.
What takes this place to an even higher level is that next to the playplace is a giant café full of booths and tables. So essentially a bunch of bitter hags with kids can come here, tell their kids to go play, and have hours of uninterrupted time to bitch to their other stay-​at-​home mom friends about how they can’t remember the last time they got laid. They even have wi-​fi here, so you could surf the web to your heart’s content, or even WORK.
To make it even better… I’ve never seen so many hunky men in my entire life. Seriously. And I’ve never been attracted to a French dude in my entire life. Until we went here… My hormones were on full blast watching all the… DILFs running around with their kids. Even though kids repulse me, it did amplify the attraction to see dudes be all… paternal. Wish the lighting had been better. Would have made it easier to notice wedding rings… :))))))))) God, I’d make a GREAT desperate housewife.
The bad part of this place, and what prevents it from being 5 stars, is that really, you shouldn’t rely on a giant death factory to babysit your kid while you hit on fellow parents and drink coffee and update your Facebook status. This place is DANGEROUS. I would go to the side of the two-​story playplace to watch my nephew go down a slide, and he would disappear. You cannot view the entire playplace from the sidelines. Parents are allowed to go in, but it’s difficult if you’re an out-​of-​shape fatty like me. Also, older kids are allowed in here, and my sister said her five-​year old has been bullied before, and that older kids will block the slides or hit younger kids. There were a LOT of parents who just let their kids run wild in here and gabbed on the other side of the room, totally out of eyesight of the playplace, not supervising their kids. There is NO staff supervision, and clearly most parents who bring their kids here are not supervising. It really is dangerous. Even though my sister closely supervises her son when they come here, he cracked his head open (literally– had to call an ambulance) once because he slipped and fell while he was running.
Your kids will not get bored here. My nephew was literally RUNNING around this place for an HOUR AND A HALF and BAWLED when we said we had to go soon. He was DRENCHED in sweat and still not tired or sick of it.
Minus points for disgusting bathrooms and taking 20 minutes to replace toilet paper when they ran out (we had to ask twice).
So… to review:
1. Great place to find ammo to get knocked up again.
2. Great alternative to television to get your kids to leave you alone.
3. Great place to allow your kid to burn off extra energy so they go to fucking sleep when you get home.
4. Great way to manipulate your kid into not being a brat.
5. Great place for kids to receive life-​crushing injuries.