Lil Pub

The pub is now closed. The CVS next door is going to expand into the space. Another great dive has shuttered.

Get in now — CVS finally bought ‘em and THEY’RE CLOSING JANUARY 6, 2014!
Great place to meet diverse locals — no pretension here.
Drinks are cheap, great jukebox, 2 pool tables and jello shots.

What a great *lil* find that I never would have stumbled upon if not for Unilocal!After having schmancy cocktails at Harold Black, my girlfriends and I were looking for a friendly, unpretentious dive bar. Lil Pub delivered! Not too get too deep here, but like anything else, your experience here is often dictated by your attitude. We read on Unilocal that you’d be greeted by friendly people who all seemed to know each other, and that was our experience. Nothing like being welcomed by jello shots :-)

To misquote Mark Twain, «The reports of its death have been greatly exaggerated». Yes, despite all the talk about it being taken over by the neighboring CVS for expansion (or lebensraum, if you will), I can attest, that in May of 2013, the Li’l Pub was still alive and servin’. That’s not to say it won’t happen (Suzanne was a little coy with me when I asked), but it hasn’t happened yet. No more food, but the pool table’s still out back, and the cheap bottles of beer are still cold. So, belly up to the 10-​seat bar and stay for a chat while you still can.

Terrific unpretentious bar where everyone actually knew one another’s names. The place felt like a little community. And even though I looked a bit out of place, the folks were quite welcoming. Sadly, the space is for sale. The bartender told me CVS had gone into contract to buy it but then backed out. Who knows what will happen next. Go while you still can.

This place is the worst. I love it. Your cheap jello shots made me kick a pumpkin.

Imagine stepping back into 1970’s in the rural south. This bar is so out of place on the Hill that it’s almost comical. It’s cash only and they have one wine option — cheap. There’s really no reason to go here, ever. That is unless you’re into faux-​time travel.

Picture this: It’s the day before Christmas, and I’ve just come from Eastern Market, where I’ve picked up a last minute gift. I spotted the pub, and figured, «I’ve got cash, why not?» I just really wanted a BEER. Not a microbrewed, craft-​filtered, beer made with adherence to ancient German brewing methods rediscovered by Indiana Jones, but just. .. a beer. And while I’m not a huge football fan, there were games on, and mass produced beers just GO with football.
So I went in. I noticed a couple of regulars at the bar, and luckily got a corner-​ish spot. It turns out the regulars, or at least one of them, was a janitor at a hotel, and he could not have been nicer. I should have bought a round, but I was trying to lay relatively low (as a DC attorney, this is not normally my place). But I tipped the bartender, a no-​nonsense woman, well for the first beer, and then chatted her up about a Wegman’s recipe she was looking for on the internet. I pulled out my phone, and we researched it together.
The key is, don’t think too much of yourself, and if you act like you’ve «deigned» to try this place out, or that you’re treating it as a novelty visit, you won’t enjoy yourself. One other Yuppie came in, and left almost immediately after pounding his beer, once he realized this was a dive-​y place. He couldn’t hack it. I (this is true) come from a long line of janitors and cleaning crews, so these folks were a blast.
One note — a patron came in, but before he did, he pounded on the glass on the front (you might well have thought he was homeless) — the bartender pulled a knife out (!), but he came in, and they all laughed about seeing each other again. Clearly just an inside joke amongst friends. But I suspect that’s what scared the Yuppie right the hell outta there. For me, I was just concerned with Wegman’s au gratin potatoes. ;-)
I never went back to the pool section, because the bartender and I were having too much fun looking up recipes, but I’ve read good mentions of it here.
Bottom line: Bring cash, and be respectful but friendly. Take a joke. If you get the idea you’re in a way different tax bracket, buy a round for the bar.

I love Lil’ Pub. It’s a far cry from the typical locale on Capitol Hill/​Eastern Market/Barrack’s Row, and it’s a bar. It’s just a bar. The patrons are not the typical Capitol Hill staffers or young couples forcing their dogs and babies upon society and clogging aisles with strollers.
Their food offerings include little bags of chips that hang on a metal pole with those little clips on it. Old school style. And, the prices can’t be beat.
It’s a neighborhoody, come-​as-​you-​are bar at its best!

It’s all in the name! The bartenders are friendly and so are most of the patrons. There’s a back room to play pool and just enjoy the company of others. It’s a basic bar that has cheap drinks. Doesn’t need to be remodeled or replaced. It serves its purpose for providing a normal place to have a good time without having to break the bank or dress up.

It is what it is… which is whatever makes me think of the scene from Home Alone where John Candy’s polka band — the Kenosha Kickers — is playing rousing Christmas carols for Kevin’s mother in the back of the van going to Milwaukee. If this doesn’t paint a good enough picture for you of what Lil Pub is like, then I don’t know what else to tell you.
Well, except that you must bring your ID and be okay with the rest of the clientele intently watching a PBS documentary about Tony Bennett on TV. Don’t expect any real music or rowdiness before 11:00 pm.

Best Dive Bar in DC bar none.
It is a minor miracle that this place still exists in the rapidly-​gentrified-​and-​yuppified Capitol Hill area.
Incredibly friendly people — I had parked my Caddy directly outside and half the bar came out to look at it and tell me that they had one themselves back in the day. That statement tells you everything you need to know about this magnificent Dive Bar.
Go there soon before they turn it into a sushi bar /​micro brewery /​artisanal pizza place or whatever.

My buddy and I ordered two beers here. «That’ll be $ 7,» the bartender says.
«No, I’m sorry, we said TWO beers.»
She hadn’t misheard us.

This may be one of the last working class watering holes in DC.
I stopped in yesterday for a couple of drinks while waiting for my wife — Sue, the bartender, was really attentive and welcoming. The crowd was diverse in ethnicity, but all working-​class.
I love it and will be back.

Yeah, it’s kind of a dive, but great prices, great pool tables and jukebox in the back, and the friendliest drinkers around!
Don’t pass up on the $ 1 jello shots, they are tastee!

I have never been treated so poorly. Three of us walked in just intending to check this place out, as one of our friends hangs out here regularly. We walked in, and nobody was behind the bar, but Indiana Jones music was playing, so we waited for a little while loving the jams.
After a few minutes, still no service, so I made my way to the bathroom, when a lady yelled at me «Can i see some ID?». As I was not ordering a drink at that specific moment, and had already been sitting at the bar. I was confused, and asked if she was talking to me.
Lady: «Yeah– is anyone else standing over there?»
Me: «well, yes, i’m surrounded by people»
Lady: «Yeah– they’ve all been here. I’m talking to you»
So I walked back to my friends, gave the lady my id, told them that I changed my mind, and I didn’t want a beer anymore, then i went to the bathroom. While I was gone she proceeded to scold my friends about how they should ask before they let their girlfriend use the bathroom. When i came back, she was gone– and had not served my friends the beers they ordered, instead, she went outside to smoke.
Seriously? This is a terrible business model. I think next time you have customers enter your establishment, you should probably serve them. wtf.
I will never step foot in there again, and neither should you.

While visiting DC I was told I had to look this place up and it would be just my style. This is very true.
Old man bar full of weirdo regulars, a loud obnoxious bartender, and a good beer selection. The bartender carded my 40-​something companion and when he guffawed she said «you’re old enough to know you should carry your ID, now show me!» She was a riot.
Only complaint was when I went out to smoke and put a coaster on my drink. This is the universal sign for «I WILL BE RIGHT BACK» and she tossed my more than half full beer away. When I came back and gave her the «WTF» look she promptly bought me a new, more expensive beer.
Needless to say, this bar may have something to do with my love of DC.

3.5 stars Lil Pub is one of those divey neighborhood bars where if I’m bought a drink, I’m not instantly suspicious of a person’s motives. It’s a solid neighborhood bar, where usually Suzanne (a sweet but sharp older lady bartender) will take good care of you. $ 1 jello shots, cheap rails, and bottled beer.
Good for early to later evening on a work night. $ 2 bottle domestics, $ 2.75 rails, 3−8pm MTWThFSat
It is a pretty small bar in the front, which ironically prevents it from being overcrowded. Two pool tables and darts in the back. Gay friendly, but not exclusive. Sometimes it can be an odd cast of regulars but they’re friendly and interesting.
Cheap food (nothing hot served here last I remember), cheap drinks, and location keep me swinging by here once in a while. The local regulars (alcoholics?) are a very laid back and welcoming bunch, so sit down at the counter and drown your sorrows/​share your story with a fellow patron.

My girlfriend and I enjoy getting weird. Reviews of Lil’ Pub promised that it would be nurturing and safe environment in which to attain weirdness. Sadly, I fear we could never reach the heights of «weird» that many of Lil’ Pub’s patrons have already achieved. It would be like trying to direct a movie while David Lynch stood looking over your shoulder. You’ll never be David Lynch and you should be ashamed for trying.
Last Saturday, I cried to my girlfriend that we should remove our encrusted pajama pants, put on something even less fancy and investigate the Lil’ Pub. Many times had I walked by the Lil’ Pub and wondered what sort of romance I could have with it, if only I would lower my standards and give it a chance. Then again, you have to lower your standards pretty far already when going out in Capitol Hill, since the most popular establishment there is Hawk-​n-​Dove (aka: Club Hawk /​Hawk-​n-​Dance).
The Lil’ Pub is refreshing devoid of all the things I hate, like… people. There are about a dozen bar stools, and even they weren’t full on a Saturday night. The pub is about the size of a hallway, but you’ll never notice. It also clears out pretty early. There were no more than six people in the entire establishment after 1:30. Ahhh, but the people who stay are simply delightful.
Our introduction to one patron involved us overhearing a gentleman at the other end of the bar screaming to the bartender, «Fuck a cat! I went to this girl’s house — she had snacks sitting out on the table and the cat was eatin’ out the bowls and then she gonna offer those same snacks to me! I got up and left and didn’t ever come back. There was cat hair all over the sink and the couch — I had on these nice silk slacks, you know? I ain’t trying to sit down on all that. I NEVER went back.»
Then he told us a story about when he DID go back and the cat was licking the steaks being prepared for dinner guests. We all agreed that you can’t fault the cat for that, but I was assured that it’s a simple fact of nature that black people don’t have «indoor cats.» Then he pointed out that «black people don’t care about animals.» I conceded that I had seldom seen any non-​caucasian put a sweater on an animal. At that moment, we locked eyes and he knew that I understood his soul fully.
The bar has nothing on tap, and some of the bottled beer tastes funny, but don’t be prissy — that doesn’t matter. There’s plenty of rail alcohol and Jell-​O Shots! For a dollar! For a single dollar you can get a small cup of Jell-​O, and if it’s not completely full, the bartender won’t charge you for it. Or maybe he just liked us… or hated us. Your experience may vary based on your charisma. So, for two dollars we got two shots a piece. The only downside is that the cups are coated in an unidentifiable species of grease, making them difficult to operate. It’s far easier to just accidentally crush them and have to scoop the innards out with your tongue, like a hyena. As we are usually covered in grease too, we didn’t inquire further, but the shots were palatable and effective. Maybe?
The back room, which one reviewer promised was a good place to «get weird with friends,» was actually disappointingly well-​lit and loud, thanks to a jukebox that has not been updated in a couple of decades. That’d be fine, but most of what I heard coming from that box was Phil Collins, Styx and Debbie Gibson. The ability to get weird was also hampered (or enhanced, we couldn’t tell) by a video monitor behind the bar that allows the bartender to tell what’s going on back there. Would he care if you were selling live narwhals behind the pool table? Probably not, but I don’t want him trying to get a cut of my narwhal profits. I’d hire him as my accountant, but the poor guy has trouble doing the math for two $ 4.25 drinks. Also, I ordered a drink with a twist of lemon and got an orange. I like any place that, like me, doesn’t know the first thing about fruit.
If I don’t accept the «fuck a cat» guy’s invitation to hang out with him at the American Legion bar a couple of blocks away, I’m sure I’ll return often to Lil’ Pub for its heady blend of eccentric regulars and life affirming atmosphere. Next time, we won’t even have to show ID, because now our fates are forever intertwined with that of Lil Pub. This is the best and worst thing I can imagine.

Interesting little pub filled with local and faithful patrons. Everyone there seemed to know each other. However, I can see if it was a busy night that this place could be somewhat claustrophobic.
My friends and I came here just to hang out before going out to another place.
Oh yeah… jello shooters are available! And, Lil Pub makes ‘em good!