Edible Arrangement

Wow — never again. My friend’s mother passed away yesterday, so I called Edible Arrangements in Tyler to have something sent over because there is some problem with the internet order site. (The problem is that there is no window in which to place a card number, and no order can be made unless you enter a card number.)
So I called the place in Tyler and entered hell.
The girl on the other end of the phone seemed never to have taken an order before. She explained that their «internet was down» and that if I didn’t mind giving her my credit card number over the phone «again» we could do it that way. I explained that I had not yet given my CC number, that there was no venue for it on their web site. Clearly — they HAVE no web site, just a trained parrot to answer the phone when people get fed up with filling out the form that goes no where online.
We tustled at length over the actual order, she repeatedly getting the name of the arangement wrong, not understanding my desires as far as the dips used on the fruit in the arrangement, seeming never to have heard of any of this before.
I finally asked if there was someone else I could speak with (there wasn’t) and when we established that I was stuck with her, I asked if there was another store in town who might be better prepared to take my order. She said there wasn’t, but wondered if I wanted numbers for some other companies. I told her I didn’t see the point, if there was no other place I could call for Tyler delivery. After a few minutes of stunned silence, and after making certain that our connection had not failed, we moved on to delivery.
I told her I’d like it delivered to the ****** Family. She wondered if this was a business? No, it is a family. A what? A family. Oohhh, and could I repeat the name? The very simple, 5 letter, english origins name. I did so. Then I spelled it out, and she repeated it back to me, erroneously, several times, while I repeated the spelling and pronunciation back to her repeatedly. Then, oh for pete’s sake!, we moved on to the street name. Again, a 5 letter, english word. Simple. But no — nothing here is simple. Again, this short word is seemingly impossible to understand, and we go through the whole process again. The only thing I can compare it to would be trying to give such an order to a 5 year old who is just learning to read.
After all of that, we moved on to the credit card. We struggled for so long and so hard with the expiration date I was pulling my hair out, but then I had to beg her to repeat it back to me to ensure that she had it right. She didn’t see the need.
Then she said OK, you want ******, and named an arrangement I had never mentioned.
NO, I said. That is not what I ordered.
I am NOT kidding.