Bio-Kinetic Clinical Applications

Bio-​Kinetic is a medical study clinic. The way it works is that you review the list of medical studies on their website, and sign up for one. Then you come in for a physical at the appointed time, and if you are approved, you show up for one or more weekend (or longer) stays, along with all the other people in your study.
On Saturday morning, you are given a dose of some medicine, then you will spend the rest of the weekend having blood samples taken periodically. (Hope you’re not afraid of needles!) After the weekend is over, you may be required to come back early in the morning on one or more days the following week, depending on the study. Then wait for next weekend and come back in for another stay!
Studies vary in length, restrictions, and number of blood samples. Depending on some arcane formula, you may earn anywhere from a few hundred to a few thousand dollars; you pick it up a week after the study is over.
During your weekend-​or-​longer stays, you will be shut into a dormitory-​style living quarter with other people in your study, or in other studies. There are a total of five separate dormitories: an upstairs or two downstairs dormitories in the «old» building, or two first-​floor dormitories in the «new» building.
Depending on which dormitory you are in, you may have access to slightly different amenities. The main downstairs dormitory has a pool table, for instance, whereas others do not. The new dormitories each have two large widescreen LCD HDTVs mounted to the walls for watching DVDs, and two smaller LCD TVs for hooking up game consoles. Every dorm has at least one TV and DVD player. The dormitories also have password-​protected WiFi, though the WiFi in the newer building is fairly unreliable. In the «old» building, the WiFi router is in the lower floor – so getting a good signal from upstairs tends to require a very good antenna.
Sleeping facilities are rooms full of bunks, upper and lower. Wall socket availability varies. (Arrive early to get the best choice.) In the old building, the bunks have actual mattresses; in the newer building they have gel-​bags that I have been told are reminiscent of accommodations at the county jail. (In fact, I sometimes find it a bit disturbing just HOW MANY other study participants are able to make that comparison from experience.)
There are also showers available in all the dormitories, though you must provide your own toiletries and towel.
Meals are provided, though they are by and large nothing special. The quality tends to range from hospital food to cafeteria food, though there is usually not more than one really awful meal per study. Depending on the study, you may or may not get to eat breakfast Saturday morning. (On some studies, you get to eat it one Saturday but not another, to compare how having breakfast affects the medicine’s absorption rate.) All meals will be the same every weekend, as part of the controls for the medicine’s absorption rate. You are expected to eat all of every meal, or at least as much of it as you can.
If you attend a study, here are some things to consider bringing to make for a more enjoyable experience:
* a small electric fan AND extra blanket/​comforter. It’s always either TOO HOT or TOO COLD at night in those rooms, and you never know which one it is going to be ahead of time. Prepare for both.
* an extension cord. Just in case you’re too far away from an outlet for that fan.
* a laptop if you have one – or a full-​sized computer if you don’t. A number of people (myself included) bring their full-​sized computers and spend all weekend gaming. If you are going to be in one of the «new» dorms, bring an ethernet cable just in case the wireless is out and you are able to get close enough to one of the accessible ethernet ports.
* video game console. If you don’t have a computer, this is the way to go. It would probably help to bring a TV set, too.
* DVDs, and optionally a portable DVD player. Don’t bring anything too risqué or outré, and don’t expect your movies to get much play if you bring anything too odd. Most of the study attendees seem to prefer low-​brow comedies, like Adam Sandler or Ben Stiller films.
As a hard-​core computer gamer, I usually find the weekends tolerable enough; the blood samples are a small price to pay for being able to game all weekend (which I would otherwise do anyway), have my meals given to me, and get paid for it.