Pottawatomie County District Court

I was absolutely ecstatic when I received my notice, nay summons rather to engage in my civic duty as a potential juror at the Pottawatomie County District Court. I was so glad to have finally been called to serve. After having moved around the country so much I thought, unjustly so, that jury duty would never be in my future. Well, it was like I hit triple 7’s at the ATM the day the court clerk’s summons arrived at my house.
This old courthouse is conveniently located downtown in the quaint Oklahoma City bedroom community of Shawnee. That’s right, Shawnee touts itself as a bedroom community and I was excited to keep this up and coming cultural destination clean by possibly putting some predators into the penal system. As I arrived with the Law & Order theme song bandying about in my head I entered the hallowed halls of the Pott County justice system. And hallowed they are, as the security is as tight as one would expect of an edifice housing some of the most brilliant legal minds short of the Supreme Court. Suffice it to say I was thrilled to see about 300 of my fellow Pott. County residents awaiting their day to dispense justice. Granted, half were still out in the street in the freezing cold, as the laborious process of metal detectors and pat downs was being conducted but hey, the wheels of justice can be slow — and safety is paramount!
Once inside and registered with the court clerk, myself and the throngs of my fellow countymen (and of course countywomen) were left to mill about in the hallways and the staircase in this very well thought out plan of jury selection. The facilities here are fantastic and the marble stairwells are very comfortable for prolonged episodes of sitting. And with 300 of my fellow locals all in the hallway and staircase it was a great opportunity to network as everyone was literally elbow to elbow. I enjoyed overhearing comments about the very large President Obama photograph on the American flag that adorned the hallway. My fellow jurors sure were colorful characters — and their jokes at our president’s expense had me in stitches and helped pass the time. I knew that these were truly my people and that together we would discuss the heady issues ahead of us and intelligently and rationally dispense justice. I felt like the dumbest member of Mensa amongst these most brilliant of minds.
Finally, we were called into one of the large courtrooms to begin our civic duty. I was chomping at the bit and ready for action when we… waited. And waited some more. Apparently the judge was busy, no doubt debating something as important as Marbury V. Madison, so wait some more we did. Once the judge arrived we were told of our importance and heady responsibilities that were to ensue. Apparently, our mere presence alone was enough to make the potential felons quake in their boots. We were instructed to then to look at our juror numbers and even numbers would stay in his court and the odd numbers would go to juvenile court. Now, I was an odd number and an odd man out — so single and childless I went to children’s court. Great! I love children so much this was just getting better.
Once inside juvenile court I learned that there are only 6 jurors for each case, ensuring that I would have many more opportunities to do my duty! Winning! And the slew of cases in front of us were parental rights terminations. Great! I was ready to terminate them all to help these poor kids. Alas, it was not to be. I went through the tedious process of voir dire over the course of three days and was not picked once to help these poor children. But, daily I arrived with the now dwindling jurors only to be denied yet again my civic duty. I noticed a recurring theme amongst the remaining jurors, we were all single and childless. I felt as if I was being discriminated against for having the audacity to have not bred a brood out of wedlock. So, I was not to help these poor families that made the Honey Boo Boo clan look like role models.
Overall, I encourage everyone to embrace their civic duty. Try as I might, I was unable to exercise mine as I had so hoped. The Pott. County court does a fantastic job, its employees, judges, police and other public servants are beyond reproach, efficient, brilliant, organized and oh so nice. This court is jumping like a marsupial one, or whatever that saying is that were I to remember might send the local Barney Fife to my door with a new summons! Hands down, one of the greatest experiences of my life — and I got paid! What’s not to love?