No Fat Chicks at Happy Hour

Fat girls need love too!

AMG? RLY?
SRSLY — RLY???
*wipes tears of mirth & pity for the Seattle Unilocal crew from eye*
SOLUTION: Seattle gals (of all glorious sizes,) you should start a «No Douchebags/​Asshat/​Small Wanged Guys» underground happy hour…
Now that would be a happy hour I’d stay at for more than one drink!

People giving this douchebag five stars are funny, but also right when they say «We do have the freedom of free speech on this social networking site where WE HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT TO SAY WHAT WE FEEL ABOUT SOMETHING.» Funny to criticize people for saying what they feel about something. Hypocritical really. So I say this. If you ignore people who refuse to interact with women because he considers them «fat,» then you encourage their behavior because you let them do it without any repercussions.
Apathetic people should follow their own fucking advice and get over themselves.

Wow, what the hell is this? anyway… I approve… it’s my turn to sit my fat ass down and eat $ 2 burgers.
~G

*devil dress on*
So…let me see if I understand this correctly.
Some guy, henceforth known as «the douchebag», attended the weekly happy hour.
Unsatisfied with the «eye candy» he had to «mack» all over… he took his attitude, small mind and presumably small c*ck «underground» and stopped attending Happy hours and only attended those in which he invited his own list of douchebag supporters/​passives/​kindred spirits.
Thereby, making Unilocalers free to drink w/​o his ilk in their presence.
This «invite only» happy hour somehow made all «open» weekly happy hours stop?
That, my friends, is one motherf*cking powerful «douchebag».
*devil dress off*

I pity tha’ foo’.
That’s all I got. Pity. Awww.

I fricken hate Peeps. Last time I ate a really fat peep and drank it came out awful. Here’s a haiku I found to demonstrate:
sparkly pink puke
peeps and tequila don’t mix
found out the hard way
Wait… were we talking about the fattening sugary candy chicks?

If one has enough beer, this could turn into Only Hot Chicks at Happy Hour no matter the clientele.

4 2355zapr08
fm: agent dfens
to: sf Unilocalers
bt
top secret
subj: danger in seattle Unilocal
references a. Unilocal policy of staying neutral
b. Unilocal policy on non-​dating other Unilocalers — only
one night stands are acceptable
c. Unilocal policy of non-​hate
1. i regretfully report unrest in the seattle Unilocal streets.
2. according to reliable sources a seattle Unilocaler announced «no fat chicks at our happy hours» at the exclusive weekly meetups. word has spread across the city angering Unilocalers of all body types.
3. current rift among seattle Unilocalers grows. exclusive happy hours continue with the following groups: hipsters, fatties, anorexic chicks, douchebags, drunkards, pick up artists weirdos and sex freaks occurs separately with no hope of a united seattle front.
4. request a Unilocal sabbatical until unrest is over.
a. agent dfens will be getting drunk at the blarney
stone then searching for refuge at the lusty lady
until ordered back to operation.
b. wilco on ref a, b and c.
5. when the violence subsides will plan on a peace summit.
a. dyl (destroy your liver) combined with a dyh
(destroy your hate). all are welcome to join.
b. operation scout seattle for sf Unilocalers will
resume.
6. respectfully request additional info on how to join the sex freaks club.
bt
nnnn

God, this pisses me off! Luckily, I think I may have come up with a great answer to the question of how to deal with this.
Fight fire with fire I always say (fine, I admit, not really, but did you read what I just typed? It’s never too late to start always saying something). I can hear everyone waiting with baited breath, «Matt, what is your solution to this complex sociological issue?»
I propose an all fat chick happy hour next week! The more the merrier. Guys and girls of other body types are also welcome to attend, as I am not the type who excludes GOOD company. However, therein lies piece de resistance: douche bags and assholes will not be allowed to attend.
You’re welcome. I truly hope to see most of you there.