The Usual Suspects Cafe

Synopsis (for those of you in a hurry):
Definitely give this place a try. The food and service are great. All new chefs and servers so don’t pay any mind to the negative comments before. Traditional Russian dishes with a vegan approach. Portions are small but very filling. Daily menu that changes with whatever organic fresh produce is at the market. Everything on the menu is 100% vegan.
The whole story:
When it comes to being a vegan and trying new restaurants, the experience can usually be summed up with the good ol’ «curiosity killed the vegan» anecdote. Don’t get my intentions nor my gravity of passing judgment wrong. I just tend to have a hard time discovering new places without my friends’ recommendations guiding the way.
Well, let’s just say that my luck has changed.
Russian vegan cuisine!!! A daily menu decided and prepared by the selection of organic produce bought that day!!! Pinch me, I must be dreaming!
The Usual Suspects had received some good reviews on Unilocal.Then, some bad reviews speaking of really bad service consisting of fighting between the servers and cooks and an all out «chef walkout.» This sparked my curiosity. Yes, the one that gets me in trouble.
After a trip to the MOMA and some meandering in the Financial District, I was hungry.
When I got there, it was dead. No one in sight, except for the polite server who seated me. I was getting a little worried. She handed me a creatively designed hand-​written menu of what was available and gave me a run down through the menu, very informative and kind.
I ordered the eggplant appetizer. When it got to the table I was surprised. The portion was pretty small, but the dish looked really good. GOD DAMN! Whatever they put in the eggplant rolls… it was phenomenal.
For the entrée, I chose the spicy-​potato stuffed ravioli. Again, the portion that I was served was small to the eye, but I was surprised again. It was cooked perfectly and the taste was so present. I scarfed down of the plate before I was able to hit the brakes and ration what I had left. It was that good.
Next came the rice pilaf served with agave nectar and raw almonds. Perfect. I was truly impressed with the balance I was experiencing.
Finally, I managed to save some room for desert. By now the modest cook had me, hook-​line-​and-​sinker. I asked for a recommendation and I was brought a chocolate blintze. A fluffy crêpe style cake layered with rich, creamy chocolate. I was satiated, completely satisfied.
On my way out the owner asked me, «How was it?» After complimenting him, he explained that they were trying something new, out of necessity to keep the restaurant open. He also added that he was auditioning new chefs so that he could keep the current Russian menu and bring back the American food that the original patrons were accustomed to.
It sounds to me like this place is on the edge and might not offer the amazing vegan food that I tasted tonight for much longer. So, while you can, take advantage and taste a vegan spin on traditional Russian dishes.
Thank you Marianna, Zelena, the egg-​plant maestro (sorry, didn’t remember her name), and Bob for such a wonderful experience at your restaurant.

Ok, new restaurant, or new ish. Well, they had a grand opening sign still out. So I cut them some slack. The food has many near misses reminiscent of Herbivore.
Those two things want me to try them again after some tie, but what I cant forgive is the glacial service. Every step took about 20 minutes. Between getting menus and ordering, then getting the appetizer, then food… I mean at one time the server came out and I expected her to say «Oh, the kitchen is backed up, your appetizers are on their way» but what I get is «Do you want more water?» Not that she even had the water with her, mind you.
Maybe I’d come back for comedy nights, not for the food.

Look I know I have been handing out the 5-​Star reviews like condoms at a west coast liberal university’s student health clinic, but it’s not because I am bereft of highly discriminating taste. Call it luck. Call it a joie de vivre that has instilled in me a love for life and the simple beauty in the littlest things.
Or you can call it what it is — me deciding to spend my money on seeking out yummy vegan food and booze most nights and happening upon some new and as-​yet undiscovered (by me) gems, the latest of which being The Usual Suspects.
I picked up three pizzas here for the band to make amends for sleeping through the previous practice. I also decided to kill some time waiting for our drummer/​my friend to get off work (we BART together) so I decided to grab a beer and some fries while I waited.
The décor is somewhere between old fifties diner and underground boho (yes I just used the word «boho,» shut up) café (the latter maybe because the only window in the lowered back area looks out onto some kind of rock growth thingamajig.*)
They have beer and wine, all of which is organic and vegan. I ordered a Fish Tail Ale and some fries. The beer came promptly with a chilled glass and the fries followed soon. HOOOOOOLLLLLLLLY crap these fries are good. First off, in the Great French Fry Debate, I ALWAYS take the side of Bigger is Better, i.e., I want my potato-​to-​fried-​bit ratio to tend more heavily toward the potato side. This is why I prefer Frjtz to Absinthe, par example. ANYWAY these French fries are freaking MASSIVE, like the mutant bastard cousin of steak fries — but in a good way. BUT as if that weren’t enough their house fries come as a mix of Russet potatoes and SWEET POTATOES. Yes you heard me right.
Then on to the pizza. Friend/​drummer arrived as the pizza was ready and there was some weird thing where the waitress was told (presumably by the chef?) to show the pizzas to us before we left, so she lifted up the to-​go lids of all three pizzas (one vegan cheese with potatoes, spinach and eggplant; one vegan cheese with pesto and mushrooms; and one non-​vegan Quattro formaggi) and we kind of nodded, baffled but approving.
Well the truth is, they DID look really good. Like really, really good. I honestly don’t know how we made it from Montgomery BART station to Ashby BART station without devouring them, but we did and once we got to practice they didn’t last long. They’re all on a really delicious cornmeal crust. The boys seemed happy with their regular cheese pizza and even dove into mine. The cashew cheese they use for the vegan pizza is legitimately delicious, I wish I knew what the brand was! The eggplant-​spinach-​potato pizza was fantastic and the pesto pizza was good, but the pesto was a little on the bland side which was a little disappointing. BUT THAT’S OKAY because I got full on vegan pizza that was really good and better yet I CAN STAY IN THE CITY FOR IT FOR ONCE (err except when I take it over to the East Bay for practice…)
The rest of the menu has sandwiches and some pasta/​lasagna entrees. All dishes are vegan unless otherwise indicated, which is a nice twist on the usual. This will be a regular on my vegan food circuit, especially since they’re open late-​ish so, like, you know after an evening of watching women shake their boobies at me at the nearby Broadway strip joints I can fill the gaping hole in my soul (YES my SOUL) with some hearty vegan fare [drools.]**
*Microsoft Word does not consider «vegan» to be a real word, but «thingamajig» is.
**Drool from the vegan food. Not the boobies***
***Okay, boobies are pretty cool.
UPDATE: I keep getting asked to change my review by people who are associated with what this restaurant *used* to be, but I don’t think I should unless I’ve EXPERIENCED what it is now. I can only speak to what I know. I yam what I yam — don’t yall think so???
That being said this whole debacle is a GODDAM SHAME. That the restaurant has completely changed and there is all this weirdness around it. :(Can’t these people take one for the team and realize that us vegans do not have NEARLY enough delicious places to eat? Can’t we all just get along?
Seriously. In the name of my hungry tummy and my deprived taste-​buds can’t we seriously just get along?
Save the drama for your mama and keep it away from the yummy vegan food.