Lombardo’s Barber Shop

Today I went for my first haircut with the new Lou… oy vey, I should have checked the Unilocal reviews FIRST. I completely agree with all the reviewers in that this bozo is a racist, homophobic, self-​absorbed looney. I was stuck in that damn chair for 40 minutes and he may have spent 15 minutes cutting hair and the remaining 25 babbling about everything and NOTHING.
The sad part was the haircut was not bad — even kinda liked it. But the offensive tone and senseless chatter is enough to keep me away forever.
Do yourself a favor and skip this joint.

HOLD UP. There is an explanation to the huge variation in experiences. A bit over a year ago, «Lou» SOLD the barbershop to ANOTHER «Lou.»
The first Lou was, as others have mentioned, rather (70s?) elderly but entirely awesome whereas the new Lou is probably in his 50s and is for sure a homophobic, angry man. Among other things, like a mediocre-​poor barber.

This place is great*. Haircut was pretty decent. I might go again if I fancy a laugh with my haircut.
* does not apply if you are not a xenophobic homophobic conservative straight white male.

I should preface this by saying my two stars is the average rating of the two barbers who cut hair there.
Lou gets 5 stars. He’s awesome. He told me once he’d been cutting hair for almost 60 years. He’s affable, he loves his 49ers, he’s a swell guy. As of the last time I went there he was reducing the number of days per week. If he’s still working there, by all means get your hair cut by Lou.
The «other guy» gets negative 1 star. The other reviews of him are dead on. He used to work on a cruise ship and don’t you dare think that more than 2 minutes will pass after your ass hits his barber chair before he starts waxing rhapsodic about the good old days on the cruise ship. And by good old days I mean that he will point to several dozen photos on the wall and detail in excruciating detail the minutia of his halcyon cruise ship past life. He’ll point at an attractive blonde in a photo and say «she was a bitch» and then point at a willowy brunette in another photo and say «she was a bitch.» This goes on for a quite some time as there approximately 43,142 photos on the wall. Of course he’s not actually cutting your hair during the slide show, because he needs to gesticulate with both hands. The word bitch is always accompanied by a 180 degree flourish of his left hand. I get the distinct sense that the passengers trapped on that cruise ship with him were probably rooting for an outbreak of Legionnaires Disease by day 3.
My haircut lasted 55 minutes. I will never get those 55 minutes back. Ever. By minute 8 my eyes were shut and I was trying to convince myself that I was «in my happy place, I’m in my happy place, I’m in my happy place.» The problem was I wasn’t in my happy place, I was in this freakjob’s barber chair.
Turns out I was his last customer of the day, so halfway through the haircut (cough…cough…diatribe) he walked over to the front door, locked it, and pulled the shade. Two thoughts went through my mind. One: I’m so jealous of all those people outside who are locked out of this barbershop and — Two: I wonder if this guy has a dungeon.

The guy is totally engrossed in homophobic and xenophobic bitterness and spends so much time bitching about the fags, the Asians, and the Mexicans, that even if he was able to cut hair decently – a big if needless to say – he is too distracted by himself to actually do it.
And he likes to bitch about the high cost of living and high rent on his dingy little shop too, and he finds ways to relate that back to. .. .you guessed it, the fags, Asians, and Mexicans.
Another reviewer had a similar experience, and I couldn’t agree more. I should have just walked out when the hatred started spewing.
One other thing – he talked so much that I had to put extra quarters in the meter because he was cutting so slowly.

I have read the reviews about the older barber, however the two and only two times I went there, there was a guy that was in his mid 40’s who reminded me a lot of Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite. This guy would NOT shut his F — -ing mouth while he cut my hair. It is one thing to talk socially, but this was excessive. To give you a perspective, I am former military, and keep my hair fairly short. When I go in to get my hair cut, the max length is only about 2 inches. This guy managed to take 45 MINUTES to cut my hair. It should have taken about 15 – 20 like every other barber I have been to in my life. If you are lonely and want to talk with someone that still wishes he was bartending on a cruise ship back in ’85, then get your hair cut there, otherwise go elsewhere.

Lou cuts great hair and is a nice guy to boot. Very consistent.
I’ve used to go to Lou for years and haven’t heard a mean word come out of his mouth. I’ve haven’t been in a while because I found a better barber closer to my house.
UPDATE: The older Lou (70s) was awesome, I have no idea about the new Lou.

Here is my experience at Lombardo’s Barber Shop on Friday November 10:
1508 Union Street (at Van Ness)
San Francisco, CA 94 123
(415) 441‑0356
I got in the chair, and here is the conversation that ensued:
Barber: So you live around here?
Me: Yeah, Larkin and Union.
Barber: Where you from originally?
Me: I’m from Maryland. I moved here a little over a year ago.
Barber: So what brought you to the city?
Me: Well, I just decided that I needed to move on. So I checked out a couple of cities and ended up here.
Barber: I just don’t see why anyone would want to live here, what with all the fags and lesbians and the high cost of living.
Me: Well, gay people don’t really bother me. And I work in IT, so I was able to easily find a job, so the high cost of living doesn’t really bother me either.
Barber: Well I’m a native San Franciscan, and I’ve seen this city go downhill with all the fags and lesbians. I don’t agree with live and let live.
Me: OK, I don’t want to listen to this while I am getting a haircut.
Barber: The nice thing about this country is that there’s freedom of speech. I’m just waiting for all the fags and lesbians to be wiped out by a fag disease.
Me: All right, let me out, I’m going to go.
Barber: Well I’m almost done, you might as well stay.
Me: All right, well I sure won’t be coming back here.
I wanted to start cussing the guy out and get in a fight with him. But instead I sat there, trying to get my heart rate back to normal. I knew that a more effective way to combat this would be to let as many people know about this as I could.
In retrospect, however, I should have just left when I said I was going to. But hindsight is always ²⁰⁄₂₀.
I urge you all to not patronize this barber shop, and if you live in the area, let other people know about this horrible place.

If you’re a guy living in S.F. and you haven’t had your hair cut here you’re letting the best in life pass you bye and the kicker is. .. the clock is ticking.
Lou Robbiani is in his 70’s and this guy isn’t gonna be cutting hair forever. When he closes up shop and heads home (now in the East Bay) a big piece of local history is going to leave with him.
Going from memory here but these are the basics as I remember them: Born in the City, his father also cut hair and Lou followed him into the business. When they widened Lombard (19?) he and his dad moved to the shop’s current location on Union near Van Ness.
Lou is an alumni of Galileo and while I’m not sure if they were friends he was there at the same time as DiMaggio. He remembers when trolley cars ran on Union Street, and recalls when the now museum Octagon House on Union was inhabited by two sisters and located on the other side of the street. He also remembers Playland at the Sea and Neptune Beach in the East Bay. I think he might have told me a story about going to the Golden Gate Bridge the day it opened as well.
In the current shop if you look in the back room there is narrow junk filled stairway that leads upstairs to a little room. I once asked him what that was all about and he said it was for card games back in the day, followed by the comment «you know, you couldn’t make it on a barber’s pay in the old days, you had to have a little something extra on the side.»
I think he has cut hair his whole life and done it in S.F. except for a brief stint in the military (WWII?) where I believe he (surprise) cut hair.
When I first started going in about 15 years ago there was another barber named Tommy and the two of them together were quite a show. Tommy swore like a sailor, and on the weekend’s they would roll a little TV out from the back room on one of those gold metal carts with white plastic wheels like your grandma had her TV on to watch football games but the funny thing was they turned the volume off and listened to game being called on the radio. When I was first going in I thought this was odd but never said anything. With time, and as I got to know them better I finally asked why ?
With a torrent of expletives they both wheeled on me and started ranting about how TV announcers couldn’t call a damn game to save their ass ! Mostly though, until it went off the air, the radio was tuned to KABL, the oldies station, it was nice to go in grab a Playboy, listen to a little Sinatra, hear a few dirty jokes, and get your hair cut.
Another memorable time Tommy was cutting my hair as he clipped away we were making small talk and I asked him if he thought I was loosing my hair (I was and am). He purposefully set down the scissors, slowly spun the chair around and quietly said: «Red, do you have your health ?» I replied yes, I’m healthy. Then leaning in close, never taking his eyes off me yelled in my face «THEN A FULL HEAD OF HAIR DOESN’T MEAN SHIT !» Spun the chair around, picked up the scissors and resumed cutting my hair as though nothing had happened.
Some time later Tommy had a stroke and quit cutting hair but I read in the paper several years later that his wife (and he’d had a couple) won the lottery, pretty funny.
Lou and I also used to joke that I had my Playboy subscription delivered to the shop, he once told me he’d always subscribed to the magazine but at one point didn’t care if he got it anymore so when it came due he didn’t re-​new, to his surprise they kept sending it and had been for years. Turns out magazine companies send free subscriptions to barber shops because it’s good exposure, so many people see them.
Lou is a great guy and a living local history book and over many years of going in we became friends of a sort. Over time my aforementioned hair loss got the point that I didn’t really need the services of a barber anymore, and then I moved to Marin and I haven’t seen him in years. Maybe I’ll stop in and say hi, you should too. Call first though, he rarely takes walk in’s, and tell him Red sent ya.

Not only is this a totally authentic old guy’s barber shop, but «Cruise Ship Louie is in» and you can feel free to ask for help in planning your next cruise vacation! No, I’m not kidding. I’m not an old guy, but I LOVE cruise ship vacations! I need to find an old guy who needs a haircut…