Esta Noche

Guess I’m an old-​timer (let’s say 1977 – 1994), but Esta Noche and bartender Salvador were an oasis of Latin culture during my salad days, when I was rather young and pretty. Had not heard that EN had closed and become a watering hole for the new SF, but nothing surprises me any more about the tech-​creep and rip off that that my city by the bay has become… Adiós amigos… Guess we now have to find another gay bar that proudly says, «Yes, we have Corona…»

This place is nasty. If you like being around people who are dirty, out of shape, and ghetto, this is the place to go.

I am giving Esta Noche 5 STARS for the incredible memories! We are so sorry you are closed and boooo on the new owners for turning this special place into another moronic cocktail swanker bar that I’m sure the «straights» will destroy.
LOVE LIVE ESTA NOCHE!

Once upon a time I went to Esta Noche on a date. With total babe bartenders and dive-​y and divine décor, it is a true travesty this place is closing soon.
I was here during a comedy night with the audience facing the stage and located next to the restroom. After 2.46 drinks, I snuck as steathily as I could to the front of the stage and into the bathroom, careful not to disturb the show. I shut the door, quietly and quickly, and was alarmed to discover that when the door was shut, I could see through it.
It was a gate really, that one might find outdoors to encase a garden. This felt problematic to me as the stage was extremely quiet despite the performer and pee patterings are prone to echoes and especially through gates and cave like bathrooms. I even called my date for a pee pep talk, but alas no answer.
The moral of the story here is, don’t use the bathroom during comedy night.

The Happy Hour drinks with Junior behind the bar are one of the best secrets in the Mission. Go there on the days Junior is working and he frequently picks up fresh fruits and makes really great homemade daiquiris, margaritas and other fresh, delicious concoctions that are always different and delicious. Not to mention, he’s a great bartender in general.

CHA, CHA, CHA, CHA, CHA — OOOH-​UH, OOOH-​LA LA!
If you want to travel South of the Border like Tijuana (TJ), but don’t want the hassle of crossing the border, come to Esta Noche.
We were greeted by one of the lovely coristas en Esta Noche. We did not get su nombre, but I did share with her that my friend traveled across the continent from Chile, to watch her performance. We were also told by our esteemed Unilocal Elite friend James Z. — that «LQQKING,» is an HBO special and had recently filmed here. We wanted to meet the staff and get the nitty gritty, low down of it all. The kind that you hear at Sunday confessions that makes your eyes roll backward and say, «whateva!»
The machismo barman gave us the «personalize experience.» Quite touchy if you know what I mean, professionally of course! He made sure we noticed how he POUNDED, and POUNDED, and POUNDED the mixture of concoction en preparación for our Mojitos toast! It was a two thumbs up said our visiting friend from Chile who had quite an exchange of conversación en español con barman!
By 11:30 PM, the coristas made their GRANDE entrada, and «lip synch for their life!» «Rihanna» and «Quinceañera Chica» performed magníficamente. After I was done with my Merengue, Cha Cha and Salsa, I was WET from head to toe including my «butt crack!» It was a sign to go home and ir a casa y dormir! Fantástico
Cheers! :p

Junior the bartender goes out of his way to make Este Noche homey and welcoming homey! He makes homemade fruity margaritas for 4 bucks and puts out free happy hour food now and again… he is the best!

Since my previous review I’ve finally been back for Esta Noche’s evening shows. They aren’t to be missed!!! Comedy Bodega is every Thursday night, no cover with just a one-​drink minimum. It’s great funny free entertainment, and if you come early enough you can get free food and even find a place to sit down.
It’s still an average place to do happy hour, as I said below, but Comedy Bodega gets an A+!

The up: $ 4.50 tequila sunrise; excellent entertainment.
The down: smells like the alleyway outside; 5.25 cans of beer; really hot in there.
I know the block smells like urine, but does the bar have to? I feel like there may have been some sort of mistake in pricing. A can of Tecate for $ 5.25, but a great tequila sunrise for $ 4.50? What’s with that? Round it off: $ 4 beer, $ 5 cocktail.
This place is an institution and will hopefully be around for a long time. Great performances, but just like the rest of the neighborhood it’s strangely overpriced and not worth the trip.

I am biased. I have been producing «Comedy Bodega» at Esta Noche every Thursday for almost a year, a free stand-​up show all in English. Our crowd is a mix of hipster, LGBT and general SF comedy fans. The drinks are cheap and Manuel the owner supplies us with horsdoeuvres. And you can bring food in also. Just buy a drink or three. But this year I started really frequenting Esta Noche on the Drag Nights and the shows are really awesome the stage is high up so you can see all of their drag realness. Lulu runs the show and is very funny on the mike in english and spanish. The crowd is more Latino but everyone is made to feel welcome.
Yes it’s a real dive but the most charming, entertaining and long lasting one in San Francisco. Te quiero Esta Noche!

The likes– 1. Visible security presence. (a plus for this side of SF)
2. The Show (The lady’s have some great gowns, and do a really nice job)
Dislikes– 1. Place could use a remodel of sorts. Upgrade the bathrooms, and tables, etc. It was also quite warm, so they had box fans that look like they have been there for awhile on trying to move the air a little bit.
2. Really loud speaker on the bar side. Hello, people are trying to talk possibly? Can we turn it down on the bar side? I mean really???
If your looking for a latin gay bar, and do not mind the divey parts, this is for you. If your looking for a good drag show, give this place a chance.

What puts this place over the top, is not it’s high security from the crack addicts on Mission, nor the friendly bartenders and non-​existent go-​go boys. It’s the CoMEDY, people. Whether it’s newbie material or Marga’s affliction when the back of the bar won’t shut its trap during the show, you are guaranteed a cheap laugh (just put it in the tip jar, baby). Worth every penny! (unless you came for the free pupusas and free laughter part).

GIRL! I wanna take you to a GAY BAR!
This tiny dive bar located in the heart of La Mission features great entertainment and cheap stiff drinks.
I came on a Saturday and caught a bit of the drag queen show.
Those ladies can rock some high heels. They can run, jump, shake, shimmy and do all sorts of things I couldn’t even do in flats to the sounds of Alejandra Guzman, Tina Turner and many other great divas.
Try the homeboy, 1 park pineapple juice 1 part cranberry juice and a shitload of vodka!
There’s a cover charge when I went, and it’s cash only. Don’t forget to slip some of that cash money in the sparkly speedo of the sexy go-​go dancers with perfect bodies and flawless dance moves.

This is a nice, friendly place where I’ve been going lately to see Comedy Bodega — Marga Gomez’s weekly venue for up and coming and already arrived comedians. Comedy Bodega is a blast and I really appreciate EN hosting it. There’s no cover charge — just buy a drink or two and put something in the tip jar for the comics! This is a really comfortable place to take yourself out to or bring friends on a Thursday evening at 8 PM.

Are you looking for a good laugh on Thirsty Thursday? Well look no further… Comedy Bodega/​Thursday Nights is the place to go. in the heart of the Mission this FREE weekly event brings an array of comics from all over the Bay Area and even some from NY and LA. Produced by the amazing, funny, awesome Marga Gomez this is a place that should be the hot spot for new and veteran comics. The laughs are plenty it feels like you are part of the community because some of the comics might just pick on you but it’s ok … anything for a good laugh. Arturo (bartender) will hook you up with some affordable drinks and Fabrizio (bartender/​dj) will play some tunes to dance to or just enjoy before and after the show… AND they have FREE food. c’mon who doesn’t like FREE laughs with a side of puposas? I know I do!

Should’ve saved the $ 8 cover and got a couple of tacos around the corner instead. It’s rather small, and divey as they come.
Oh, and I don’t like peeing in a trough with a creepy troll lurking in the corner.

For a decade now, I’ll stop by Esta Noche every couple of years mostly out of sheer boredom and because of the lack of many gay Latin bars in the Bay Area. Upon stepping foot in this place, I always immediately recall how much I dislike it here. In all fairness, I’ve experienced gay bars far, FAR worse than Esta Noche… one place that comes to mind is the miserable excuse for a gay club in Miami that my friend and I went to while vacationing in Florida; there were literally five people (including me and my homeboy) and we were bored out of our minds as we waited for more people to show up thinking «This place has to get better than this.» Needless to say, it didn’t get better.
But I digress. Bringing the discussion back to Esta Noche, I can actually understand why this place is still in business after all these years; their much talked about shows are somewhat entertaining if you’re into drag queen lip syncing, the DJ’s play a fairly good variety of music, and it’s a definite change of scene from the clubs in the Castro. So this bar does have its own qualities that seem to persuade customers into returning.
Nevertheless, I’m apprehensive about giving Esta Noche too good of a review; which is why although I would give it two-​and-​a-​half stars if I could, I decided to round down and only give it two. Although, as other Unilocalers have stated, the place is low-​key and low-​priced, it’s just not a bar that I’d enjoy going to on a regular basis. I realize that dive bars by nature are small and cramped, but the crampedness of this place is ridiculous. It’s literally a hole in the wall and you can imagine that on weekend nights the customers are packed liked sardines in there.
Maybe if the crowd was a little more appealing then I’d be more likely to hold Esta Noche in at least a somewhat higher regard, but unfortunately this ain’t a bar you’d want to search for prospective dates. In all the times I’ve ever been there, I’ve rarely meet any fellas who I find appealing. In fact, the last time I went there; I was approached by an unattractive, creepy middle-​aged man who tried to holla at me. When I pretended to be fascinated by the drag show as a pretense for not reciprocating his interest, he offered to dress up in drag for me if that’s what I was into… Eeek!
I was pretty astonished to see so many good reviews of Esta Noche on this site, namely since it’s pretty unanimous among my acquaintances that this ain’t exactly the bar to go to when you feel like going out for a good time drinking and partying with your friends in The City. If you’ve ever heard this place referred to as «Esta Nightmare», it’s definitely called that for a reason.

Great latino gay bar
cheap drinks
nice bartenders
Great drag shows!
especially on Tuesday! N SATURDAY
Fab Drag show TUesday with the sweet n sexy Persia N UR host Mitzy Lee come relax and have a cocktail.
Saturdays are always jam packed nite first show is at 7pm (safiro show with mitzy lee as ur host with Persia n Ms. Lulu) very relaxed show usually an older crowd.
Saturday 11Pm show is With ur host Ms. Lulu, Mitzy Lee and Persia! fund dance music all nite strong drinks usually a younger crowd…$ 7cover at the door only for the 11pm show… but is worth the price!

Delightful! Went here with a co-​worker on a Tuesday around 10. The bartender is incredibly friendly. We were two women, and encountered zero snobbery. (I think he has a lot of female cousins) $ 5 gin and tonics!
We dished about Beyonce concerts, Shakira’s dancing and Costa Rican music. There is a bilingual drag show every night (!) It’s wonderful to find these niches, these places that are a whole world, perhaps apart from your daily life, and to walk in and be instantly involved.
Make sure to turn around when you’re sitting at the bar. (Little Kid Joe is giving it away.)

Yeah, I’m giving this place 5 stars. Such a rare rating for me to give but for the tongue in cheek action going on here, this place has got to the be one of the most entertaining gay dive bars. It’s not a place you’d think of venturing into if you a.) don’t speak Spanish b.) don’t drink c.) are not gay OR d.) don’t like the bar scene.
Once again, I found myself dragged around SF to hang out with random people and being the nice girl I am, felt the need to make sure no one got pregnant and found their way home. Thank goodness the bouncer can spot a drunk from a half block away so half the crowd got sent home in cabs right away. Thank you bouncer at Esta Noche!
The floors are constantly strewn with alcohol bottles and beer cups but the amount of liquor the bartenders pour into our glasses are absolutely ridiculous. I watched the count and it went well beyond 2 oz. per short mixed drink. Beer please! The rest of the crew had no complaints and the double fisting of the drinks somehow didn’t get us kicked out like at Badlands.
The «ladies» here are beautiful from far away and put on quite the stage show. They don’t get enough credit for the hours they’re up on stage putting on a fantastic show tirelessly dancing away in those 5 inch latex heels. Crazy. I love how it’s usually only locals and not a bar full of American Apparel models who are all cloned together.
I will gladly my dance my ass off at this place in my training heels-​4 inch spiked Stuart Weitzmans. :)