Society of Single Professionals

I have gone to a few singles events co-​sponsored by The Society of Singles Professionals and I have had fun in the past so that is the only reason I give two stars instead of one.
The most recent event, on the other hand, was a disaster. This was supposed to be a singles speed dating event in San Jose. I signed up online and paid my money through Eventbrite. I then proceeded not to even think about it until the actual night of the event. That night I took a shower and headed out in a rush to the address that was listed for the party.
First, the party location was at a suite in a commercial office building – not what I would consider the ideal location for a speed dating event. Second, the address was on a different street from the actual building. Third, the suite number listed in the address did not exist! Yes, literally, there was no suite#280 in the building at all. But none of that really mattered because when I pulled up to the dark empty parking lot, in front of the locked building I knew something was wrong – yep, the event was cancelled… not moved, not postponed, but cancelled outright. And no signage on the building to that effect either.
I proceeded to check my email on my phone and saw that a refund had been issued by Eventbrite for the event. No other emails, calls, texts or anything. I called the phone number listed for the event and left a message asking for clarification. I was not a happy camper having cancelled plans with a friend for the same day and having driven to an empty building. Rich Gosse called me back with a chip on his shoulder. He’s the coordinator/​owner/​whatever of The Society Of Single Professionals and The Party Hotline website. I asked him if the event was cancelled and he said «yes». I asked if he had sent out any email notification stating that the event had been cancelled. he said «yes…you got a refund email». And at that point I tried to explain that just issuing a refund is not the same as actually notifying people that an event has been cancelled. He didn’t get it. In fact, not only was he unapologetic, he became rude and condescending, telling me «anyone with half a brain can figure out that an event has been cancelled if they get a refund». When I mentioned that I would at least expect an apology for a cancelled event, his answer, «I apologize if you didn’t understand that your refund meant the event was cancelled.» Yet another rude and patronizing remark for an event planner who cancelled his own event.
I will let you draw your own conclusions about what kind of person would act this way.
Anyone who offers no apology for cancelling his own event that inconveniences other people should not be running a business that involves customers, IMHO. BTW, went to the webpage and checked the calendar. The event was simply removed from the site altogether. No mention of it being cancelled or postponed or any details of any kind. We are talking about a lack of basic clear communication here.
If you are an event coordinator and have to cancel your own event, first send and email to everyone on the list stating EVENT CANCELLED in the subject line, THEN refund the money. In that order. Apparently that’s too much work, though. While Rich manages to bombard people with almost weekly email promotions for upcoming events, somehow when it comes to sending emails about cancelled events, it can’t be done… Really? Interesting… could this possibly have anything to do with only wanting to send emails when there is money to be made? Hmmm…
Anyway, if this is the type of person you want to give your money or the type of business you want to promote, go ahead.
I have dealt with other singles organizations out there and they have been very cool about event problems that come up, i.e., they understand the concept of customer service.

p. s. Rich, anyone with half a brain would probably know that arguing with a customer who drove to your cancelled event could very well cause him to write a negative review. Thank you Unilocal

There are not too many places for singles over 50 to go and feel comfortable about meeting new people. There also seems to be a feeling among some younger people that older singles don’t deserve to connect, or that their need is not as valid as it is for younger singles. Of course, this is not the view of all younger singles, and older singles are also sometimes not as tolerant of the music and social styles of younger people.
With that being said, I must applaud Rich G. for making an effort to bridge the gap. His parties have varying age groups, different venues, and interesting speakers covering different aspects of the single life.
Rich has used several DJ’s, and yes, a few are 80’s oriented. My favorite, Steve, just plays those few times they co-​sponsor with Your Asian Connection. His play list is about 90% from 2010 on, though he plays requests from anyone that asks. Another DJ, Mike, is also pretty good.
I’d like to see the generations support and learn from eachother, instead of polarize. Some people knock «The Society», but few others are making the effort. We can all get along and wish all of us a good time.

The SoSP primarily hosts mixers, speed dating events, and dance parties around the bay area. Rich Gosse is the principal and he often partners with other singles /​meet-​up organizations to host the events. Over the last 16 months, I’ve gone to quite a few of these gatherings. Overall, I would say that it’s a good opportunity to network and to find a date.
Don’t let the negative reviews dissuade you from at least attending one of the major events. I’ll try to address some of the concerns.
1. Music/​DJ sucks — True. The music selection will draw heavily from the 80’s with a few modern hits sprinkled in. I think this is because the participants’ age range is late 20’s to 50’s. It’s hard to find a happy medium. If you’re primarily looking for great dance music, go to one of the hundreds of clubs in SF.
2. Age group skews old — Depends. At the speed dating events, the participants are usually split into two age groups (20’s to 40’s and 40’s to older). Personally I’ve met and gone out with people in their late 20’s and early 30’s. However, if there’s NO speed dating for the event, then all bets are off. You might think you’re at the local bingo club. I’d say that for the major events such as the Spring/​Midsummer/​Autumn/​Winter Ball, New Year’s Eve party, etc you’re likely to get a good turn-​out from the younger folks. This is probably because Rich partners with the other organizations for these bigger events and those organizations bring their members. If it’s a good venue like the Fairmont, then there will be more younger attendees.
As an aside, the snarky age-​ism in some of the negative comments below is shameful. There’s no need to hate on decent people are sincerely looking for a mate. Becoming old and out of fashion is not a crime. The Clock ticks for all of us.
3. People are sad/​depressed — No. It’s like your high school dance. There are people who are shy and reserved standing or sitting sullenly to the side, and those who are having a good time. It’s fear of public speaking and fear of rejection. There is tension in the room because everyone is «single» so there’s the added pressure of having to potentially approach a complete stranger. Some ladies will huddle together for security and some men will give up and not even try to approach. Usually as the night drags on, people who aren’t already paired up will look more and more depressed (for obvious reasons).
Lastly, some recommendations for attendees:
For guys, if you’re going to come to these singles events, put your Big Boy pants on and talk to the women. If you’re just going to sit there and watch, save yourself $ 30 and don’t come. Dress like you’re on a date, not in your best flannel. Don’t be creepy. Come early for the «best selection» as the ladies who are bored tend to take off early or are whisked away by Prince Charming.
For the ladies, don’t sit together in big groups on the edges of the room and make it harder for men to approach you. You’re at a SINGLES event so smile and look friendly. It’s OK to initiate the conversation if you’re curious about someone. Believe me, he won’t think you’re a slut. If you want to be a frosty, stand-​offish, pitch, go to one of the hundreds of clubs in the city instead where you’ll fit right in. If you don’t like his vibe, you can always excuse yourself and walk away. Give the guy a chance and you might be surprised.
Finding the right person is usually a crapshoot. The odds are stacked more and more against you and the pool of viable mates shrinks as you get older. The SoSP is ONE pool you can tap into. You WILL meet people. But manage your expectations accordingly.

I have attended past and present events with this organization over the years and wanted to share my recent attendance experience. Over the years the promoter of these singles events has used several organization names, currently it is The Society of Single Professionals,
To discuss my present experience I have to look back the past to make a point. More than 20 years ago I attended events regularly until I met someone and had a 20+ year relationship which ended. Meeting my long term partner had nothing to do with attending these events.
20+ years ago we all were younger and most of those currently attending events are from that age group. I think those who would benefit most from attending now would be mid 30s — 60’s. Anyone younger would feel out of place.
I say this as when attending recently I recall the DJ playing the same old tired music from the 80’s and 90’s. I found myself thinking the last time I attended the music was on cassette tape, but now it is on a modern DJ system, but the music is still stuck in time, as are the events…
Like most people I’ve moved on, but this organization is in my opinion in many ways stuck in the 80’s and 90’s. At the bigger events they have a rehash of the same old pop psych singles advice.
The main reason I won’t be back is I was astounded to see people still attending these events in the hope of finding someone who were there when I was last single over 20 years ago. I’m sorry but these people (guys and gals) are stuck in time and in my opinion will never find anyone although they are still trying. Frankly that shocked me.
Yes, it is possible you can go and find someone, I recall a very stale party long ago where no one was of interest except for one outstanding gal, a guy near the door got to her first and they just clicked. OK it is something we all dream about, and can happen, it is just not that likely. Other than those two meeting, the party was so so at best, but for them it was life changing, so anything is possible.
I’ve always had better luck just meeting people, and would suggest if you want to find someone look close to home, it is very likely you will find someone nearby, you need to open yourself to the possibilities.
If you want to attend one of these, I’d suggest the bigger events with more people and don’t be afraid to approach someone if you have interest (both the guys and gals). Most guys are delighted when a gal asks them to dance, guys don’t be afraid to cross the room and ask a gal to dance. FYI if it is at the Golden Gate Yacht Club, the GGYC is the little one down the breakwater from the St. Francis Yacht Club where you’d like to dream these events are held (but never will be), so get real when you check out the venues, most are sub par in my opinion.
I recall a past party where three outstanding women came in all stunning, the guys were crowded in the far corner and afraid to approach them. I walked over and said, will any of you lovely ladies dance with me. They said, at last a guy who is not afraid of women, I danced with all of them. It broke the ice and everyone started dancing. Too often here is uncertain huddling by the guys and gals, no one is ever going to meet that way. Some of the inducers to meet other just get in the way of meeting someone interesting in my opinion.
Best wishes to all of you to find someone special…

Hi…
I attending their Nov 30^th event at the Fairmont in SF. Happen to be in town that day and dragged one of my bay-​area friends with me to check it out. We got there a little late and met a few other women in the lobby area taking pictures. They all were a blast!!! to say the least. Loved how the Fairmont looking for the Holidays…
Now to the main event.
Large social area had been setup within the ballroom. Just wish there was a little more seating but they had some nice high tables to set your drinks down while you danced and chatted. There was a wide range of ages present which was one of the main reasons we came. It is hard for the 40+ age group to find a club or party to meet other like minded people who want to dance and have a good time… Dont want to hang around a bar with a crowd old enough to be you child… LoL.
We had a good time dancing and drinking. Only off experience was running into a group of women in the bathroom. One made an off comment on my outfit. Totally uncalled for. My friend just figured that they we being «catty» and just plain jealous.
All I can say. If you come to an event like this. Don’t dress like you’re going to a wedding or church. I sure didnt, and had a blast!!!
Like someone earlier mentioned. If you girls come in a group. This will reduce your chances of meeting others. Pair-​off at minimum to meet others. That group of girls I mentioned earlier just spent the evening by the stage obviously making fun of the others present. They should have just stayed home!
C-​ya on NYE
xoxo
SheriB
(The one not dressed like a schoolmarm).

Ok first lets deal with the losers who wrote these responses below then we’ll get onto SSP itself.
Kent C: There are all kinds of people in this society and yes some are walking wounded thats how things are these days. However to say thats the group is just that is plain wrong. The parties are lively and upbeat especially in the later hours. I don’t knopw many personally but there’s lots of determination and drive in the mingling and dancing. Plus they seem to have bucks since there is always a long line to but the overpriced drinks. And the guy who puts it on sets it up. Wheter you score or not is your business. Does he have to comb your hair too ?
Lady Da: you obviously came to the wrong party. Yes it’s for older people who have lives too. You should be hanging out at one of the hundreds of bars in the city dancing to the noise that passes for the music of your generation.
YG: I wish you could count !!!
Eileen — You say nothing.
So anyone can see these people are off the wall negative and anti social types.
The events are held at classy places around the bay Area. Guys if you want to have fun don’t be a wall flower and women hang around the dance floor. Don’t hide with your girlfriends at a table in some corner far away from the action and expect to be invited to dance. Overall it’s a good scene.
My only criticisms is that the Speakers Series are really bad and some of the dj’s hired are below par

These events are hosted for the walking wounded (loosers) and people whom could never fit into normal relationships because they haven’t the looks, social skills, determination, drive or $ to reel in anything of substance or importance from the other sex. The people whom put it on try to seduce you into their lair but have only true intentions of making a living. They really don’t care if you score or not but that you come and pay. Caveet Emptoor!

newly single and suffering the breakup blues I went to the «Elegant Evening at the Fairmont Hotel» Single’s Dance alone – that was a mistake I now know that needed a wing-​man – People are people wherever/​whenever and everyone was seemingly themselves – yes, they were on the hunt, but still it was comfortable and I had fun alone – I had no trouble getting different people to take pics of me – thanks for the memory – shopping for outfits for an SOSP event is good retail therapy, I plan to attend two in Feb – highly recommend this organization – judging from this event the word is «CLASS».

I wish I could give negative digits.

I went to an event last year. Avoid at all costs.

One day, sometime early last year… my friend and I, heard about a singles party being thrown by the S of SP. We had never been to a singles party, so we thought it would be cool to check it out. The party was going to take place at the Golden Gate Yacht Club in the Marina. So far, so good, right? Um, yeah…
So, it’s the day of the event, and we finally make it to the parking lot.
FIRST THOUGHT —
.GAWWWD.
NO, FER REEEEEALZ? FER REEEEEALS? ARE WE ON CANDID CAMERA??? THIS IS A JOKE, RIGHT? IT’S NOT!!!
We’re sitting in the car in the parking lot, and I swear to you, everyone walking around, parking, leaving… had to have gone to high school with our grandparents!!! I believe the flyer we saw had read 30’s and up crowd. WOW, THIS CROWD WAS DEFINITELY MATURE.
Worse yet, these old guys were in button downed polyester shirts with chest hair flowing out!!! Yes, these guys just time-​warped back into the 70’s!!!
*
!*
*
.EYES.ARE.FKNG.BURNING!*
Needless to say, we sat in the parking lot for no more than two minutes and high-​tailed it outta there!!! We have since never attempted attendance to any singles party.
ONE STAR = SUPER FAIL!!!

THE NIGHT’S LESSON —
I best stay a cradle robber, than a grave digger! MEEP-​MEEEEEP!
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UPDATE:
Aww, it looks like some of you are offended. When I say old, I definitely don’t mean you folks in your 30’s and 40’s!!! I’m generation X, too! Duh!