Quest Diagnostics

There are at least four Quest Diagnostics in Redding, and this isn’t a review of any of them. It’s about me bleeding off pressure regarding the past-​due notice that corporate Quest sent me.
I have no issues with receiving the past-​due notice. I get them all the time, on account of how our mail is generally handled by Teacher Lady. I just had a few simple questions: Did Quest submit an invoice to my insurer for payment? If not, do they just need my insurance info? And if so, is this the balance remaining after my insurer paid what they’re willing to pay for the lab test?
There are two phone numbers on the invoice — one to call if you want to make a payment, and another to call if you have questions. So I call the number for questions, and I get an automated phone tree. I have two options: Press «1» to review my account or request a copy of my invoice. Press «2» to make a payment. There is no option for questions. I spend enough time climbing from decision-​node to decision-​node in the phone tree to get to the point where I say right out loud, «fuck this shit,» and hang up.
Quest Diagnostics, your bullshit phone tree raised my blood pressure. Go take a flying fuck at a spinning centrifuge.
So then I go on their website, type in my invoice number, and have all of my questions answered within three minutes. (It was the balance due after my insurer had paid, which you would think would be mentioned somewhere on the invoice.) It takes me another two minutes at most to pay the balance.
Free advice: If you’re going to have a website that works great, and an automated phone system that makes a normally chill dude want to cut a motherfucker, I suggest maybe dropping the automated phone system. Or at least warn people not to use the phone number unless they have plenty of time and beta-​blockers on their hands.
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Footnote in response to Tony C’s compliment: Yeah, my naïve understanding was that if they accept your insurance, they accept your insurance — and that includes accepting the prices that have been negotiated for various tests and procedures. If that’s not true, then they should at least tell you up front that they’re going to bill you for the difference. That didn’t happen.