El Patron 5

Worst Mexican that we have ever had. Started with chips and salsa. Salsa was very watery, making it difficult to get any on the chips. Had steak nachos. Poor quality meat and no beans or cheese on them as listed on the menu. Enchiladas were bland, rice was bland, beans were very watery, running across the plate. We should have known better when there was only one other couple in the restaurant despite it being peak dinner time with their location being next to Walmart. We were very disappointed and will not be back. Taco Bell is better than this place!

If as a restaurant your going try to make food similar to Adolfo’s then match taste, quality, and mostly price. The cook tried to mask the lack of flavor and skill with too much salt on everything. Then for what I paid, I should have had large portions not the case. Spanish Rice grains were rock hard. Beans also tasted old and canned ewww. The Tea that says fresh brewed was brewed fresh 3 days ago yuk. If your going to order all of the food ready to fry from a local vendor don’t categorized the food as mexican quazine. Call the place Loaf n Jug. As a matter of fact I’ve had a better burrito at Loaf n Jug. I will say the salsa and chips were the best part of our meal. I could have saved $ 35 and went to Adolfo’s ate good food made fast, with large portions. $ 70 later lesson learned.

Connor, that’s a pretty funny review. Sorry for your experience. I’ve only ordered takeout a few times. Got some pretty good takeout but pay half as much in Pueblo for the same. I like the Tortas Pastor, the burrito that’s loaded with all kinds of meat, the beans were good. But what they charge 10 bucks for I can get at Garcia Tamales (1334 e hwy 50) or at this place on east 4^th Street for 5.50.

I can honestly say that I have never in my life had such a horrible experience at a restaurant. Ever. The second worst experience I had at a restaurant feels like a five star experience compared to this joke of an establishment.
So here’s what happened:
Me, my wife, and some friends saw this place recently opened where the Marble Slab used to be located. It was a Friday night and we decided to try it out. When we got inside, there were two other tables already seated, and no one else (strange for a new food joint on a Friday night).
Upon being seated, we couldn’t help but notice the obnoxious mariachi music from the kitchen. It was ridiculously loud. I don’t mean a little above normal… I mean F’ing trumpets blown right in my ear kind of loud.
The waitress took our order, which took a while because no one could hear anything anyone else was saying. Then we waited for our food…
–15 minutes later…
No sign of our waitress anywhere. Our drinks are now empty from trying to quench the overwhelming thirst we’re all now experiencing from eating the red salt paste they call salsa. There’s a bunch of loud banging in the kitchen from God knows what and some dude occasionally yelling in Spanish. (It’s the only thing we can hear besides the F’ing trumpets blaring on the radio.)
–10 minutes later…
Now 25 minutes into this dining «experience,» our waitress finally shows up to fill our glasses. She apologizes for the wait, and assures us that our food will be comming out in a minute.
Looking around, there’s only one other couple in the restaurant, and they’re already eating. So all of us are wondering what’s taking so long, and why is there so much banging going on in the kitchen?
–15 minutes later…
This is not even an exaggeration… it has been forty minutes. Our glasses are empty once again, and we haven’t seen our waitress. Over the GD mariachi trumpets, we can hear our waitress and the cook banging crap around in the kitchen and yelling at each other in Spanish. Neither of them sound happy.
–5 minutes later…
We’ve now been here almost an hour. We haven’t seen our waitress in 20 minutes, and we’re one of only two tables seated.
By some kind of miracle, the waitress comes out of the kitchen with A SINGLE PLATE OF FOOD. It’s my wife’s burrito… that she ordered an hour earlier. The waitress once again apologizes for the wait and says the rest of the food will be out in a minute. She begins to leave again and we have to catch her before she zips away to ask for more water.
–10 minutes later…
She didn’t bring us any water. And… NO ONE ELSE HAS GOTTEN THEIR FOOD YET. We spent ten minutes watching my wife struggle through a burrito that was less than appetizing.
In the kitchen, there’s still loud F’ing trumpets and crap banging around from God know’s what… and the cook and waitress are still shamelessly arguing over the radio. We’re the only people in the restaurant now.
We want to leave, but can’t get the waitress to come bring us a bill for my wife’s burrito. The waitress finally comes out of the kitchen WITH ONLY ONE PLATE. This time, it’s my food: chile relleno. It comes out tiny and half-​burned. It was disgusting. It came with a tortilla that was still RAW. Before we can ask for the check, the zips away saying the other two plates will be out in a minute.
–10 minutes later…
At this point, we are totally floored by the poor service and awful food we have gotten. The experience was so horrible that it was actually funny to us for a moment, then we got PO’d, and then laughed again.
Once again, the waitress shows up out of the loud F’ing kitchen with…
…wait for it…
Yep, you guessed it: ONE PLATE OF FOOD!
This time, it’s my buddy’s chile cheese fries (why that took over an hour to make is a total mystery). The waitress apologizes for the wait once again, and finally refills our waters. She reassures us the last plate will be out in a minute.
–7 minutes later…
There’s still trumpets and metal clanging noise coming from every direction it seems, and the cook is still yelling in the kitchen at the waitress. The waitress storms out of the kitchen with the final plate of food. By now, everyone is grossed out and staring at mostly full, uneaten plates of food.
To NO ONE’S SURPRISE, my buddy’s wife’s food is also disgusting. She doesn’t eat her’s either. We get the check, leave the exact amount, and go to Angelo’s across the road.