Bertie Lou’s

The waiter there is seriously rude. He berated the table next to us for looking at their phones while they ate, and made loud unfunny and lewd jokes about female co-​workers who were off-​duty. They guy that was cooking our meal even joined in.
Cute little place, but these guys have got to go.

I grew up in a diner town. I have a thing for diners funky or clean, for the good honest, calorie laden food that brings everyone comfort. It doesn’t need to be very good to be very good if you know what I mean.
And every so often, you find a place which manages to be funky, down-​home, and a little bit unpretentiously upscale all at the same time. Bertie Lous is one of those places. I had a polenta Benedict: some griddles polenta topped with tomatoes, perfectly poached eggs, and a pesto hollandaise which probably spiked my cholesterol 200 points. They say you only live once, but they never tell you how long you’re going to live. There’s a trade off in a meal like this, and every so often the trade-​off is worth the soul satisfying smiles it brings you.
There’s a back room here, with a handful or two of tables, and it’s cute as buttons. But I had to do the counter; hang out with the cool waitress and line cook, the interesting couple next to me celebrating 10 years together.
Oh yes, the counter stools-​they are a little bit rickety, they’re not all the same design, but they swivel and let you take it all in. And the awesome waitress, pouring a constant stream of pleasingly bitter black coffee in a cup so small that my grandmother would feel right at home.
The griddle, the restaurant, the small line kitchen, or all small. The trade off there is that the home fries or deep-​fried. That’s not all together unusual, and it normally earns a demerit from me. But then the cook caused some seasoning and herbs on top, and redeemed the little golden taters.
The crowd is pure Sellwood, and that’s part of the charm also. This spot garnered a Zagat rating on the wall for 2014. Folks there gave it a 24 for food. Rating places like this are always a challenge. It’s clearly not a 24, or even four stars. At least not on a rating scale that covers the gamut of food. But within its category, there aren’t too many places doing it better. And isn’t that what it’s about?

Bertie Lou’s in a great diner within walking distance of my home. As I told Kenna (server) earlier today, I once brought a dude I was iffy about here, and when he treated her with disrespect, he was a goner. What I’m saying is: The omelets are great, and they sometimes come with dating tests. This can be helpful.
Going in with more than one other person is gonna be a bad time. There are very few tables, and there are even fewer three-​or-​more tables. So, take your crowd somewhere else, but if there’s just you or you and a friend, head on in to this teeny friendly diner. It’s delightful.

This place is pretty darn fabulous. The commentary on the menu is funny and the place is pretty tiny so I would advise going early in the morning. The Bookman is a perfect breakfast. By far the best eggs benedict I’ve had in this town — the grilled english muffin is what made it perfect. As far as the biscuits and gravy goes — the gravy is some of the best I’ve had — it has a great flavor. The biscuit part was good but not fabulous — a bit dry.

I wish I hadn’t trusted all the great reviews on this place. We arrived at around 11:15, and were surprised to find that they don’t serve lunch until 12:00. They were also out of steak for the steak and eggs, so we didn’t start off on a great foot. I had an egg scramble with Asiago cheese, which might have been better if the cheese had been melted. It was all just so-​so.
Regarding décor, I like funky and eclectic, which is what would bring me to a place like Bertie Lou’s. But this place just wasn’t clean. There were gross food splatters all over the pictures on the wall over our table, and the bathroom not only lacked cleanliness, it didn’t seem to have a working toilet paper holder. Will never, ever go back.

We’ve only been once because my wife and I have opposite hours but we love this place. The food was wonderful and the place is funky, fun and upbeat. The server was friendly and the place was packed. She had like 10 tables and kept rocking through the rush. Nice job. When we go out again for breakfast, this will be our choice.

The wait was very very long and they did not go down the list in order. I ordered the eggs Benedict and my potatoes were cold and had lost their crisp. While I was waiting I noticed that there was a big pile of potatoes in a tub and also the bacon was as well. The bacon came out cold as well. The hollandaise sauce was bland and skimpy. The coffee was good and our waitress was nice. However there was a tall older man who was very rude to everyone and thought it was funny but it was not. He even started to kick out this small family with a baby because their third person was not with them when they were sat but then their third person showed up.
All in all we won’t come back here.

Great spot for breakfast, just hope there isn’t a line. We made it in just in time it seemed like and had breakfast at the bar. Great food, staff was very portland esque which created a great atmosphere for a much needed breakfast.

Best breakfast in Oregon. Just don’t tell anyone, the wait is already long enough. Everything is good, but the Benedict is premium.
Just want a little less talking from the male waiter there. He’s a little much, and very annoying.

Food was ok. Employees use to much trashy language. Service was average. The inside is as bad as the employees mouths and humor. To weird for me, I’ll stick with down home country places!

My god. The croissant french toast sent my shoes shooting off my feet and across the room. Friendly and prompt service, kitschy décor.
Also I love the mugs they serve coffee in, they’re old and cracked as shit.
Loved this little place, I’ll totally be back one day.

We were in the area and Unilocal recommended this place. We were excited to try it. The waitress seated us in the back room and left. After looking over the menu after a couple mins, we waited to order. Two different men came in to bring in food and clean off tables. No hi, hello, or any kind of acknowledgement. After waiting a while longer, we decided to try the 2^nd Unilocal recommendation and head over to Fat Alberts. On the way out the waitress exclaimed «omg– I forgot about you.»

Go there, read the menu and laugh. This was a great stop off while traveling through Portland. Best mediocre breakfast was right.

INCREDIBLE breakfast. My mom and I were searching for a place on a Saturday morning that wouldn’t be slammed but would still provide a stellar breakfast. Definitely a tall order. Even though it was prime weekend breakfast time and Bertie Lou’s had a waitlist we were seated within five minutes. The restaurant is small and has a laid back diner feel but the turnover was great and the customer service was on point. We ordered the pesto, prosciutto, and polenta benedict and Terry’s Benedict (a more traditional take on the dish). Both were nestled in fresh spinach and served with breakfast potatoes that had been cooked up with chopped onions and peppers. We cleared our plates and had no regrets!

Your first and last stop in breakfast!
Great place… such an overused line in Unilocal-​land, but it warrants some extra punch here. Let’s face it, breakfast in Portland in sacred and you better get it right or you’re gone. Well they have been getting it right at Bertie Lou’s for a long time.
Met a friend here for the most important meal of the day, and I was slightly embarrassed never having been there before when it’s so close to where I lived. Bertie’s features an impressively large menu with all the standard items you’d hope to find. Omelettes, waffles, egg and bacon combinations, it’s all there. Plus they have some really nice specials listed, and while it’s way to small of a place to do in house baking, they make up for it by buying from a local bakery… right down the street!
I opted for the Greek scramble, described as a favorite by the owner. Very nice fluffy eggs, a fresh biscuit, and some really nice rustic hand cut potatoes that were perfectly seasoned, if just a bit on the salty side. Just the right amount of feta and olives on a bed of spinach. Great value at $ 9.50, and a big step above a lot of places that obviously cut corners, i.e., cheap eggs, balloon bread toast, etc. Here they give you a great experience, and you walk away feeling like lunch will be a small sandwich because you’re too full!!!
Atmosphere is everything, and here it’s cute and quaint without being kitchy or artsy. In fact, you’ll find that old black and white photos and napkin drawings are the framed pictures adorning the walls here. Wait staff is all smiles and has a ‘whatever you need we’re here for you’ attitude. Very refreshing! You never feel like they’re working to turn tables and get those tips. You’re encouraged to stay awhile.
Overall, just an impressive little place. It is little though. Don’t go taking the office out for brunch. They have about ten tables and a small bar seating area, and even squeezing that many I’m sure was a challenge. Also it has a distinct and classy 1930’s feeling to it. You could picture Steinbeck stopping here on his way through town back in the day. Certainly don’t expect brand new Ikea tables and chairs. It was there before Sellwood was the antique capital of Portland, and it caters to locals who remember when coffee didn’t cost $ 3 a cup and have some fancy name like Pirate’s Booty Blend from shade grown organic beans grown on Zanzibar.

So good! I love their food… but only when they aren’t super busy. When they are super busy the quality of food suffers greatly. The service is still wonderful and friendly (except for one waitress who can’t seem to handle the pressure).
I will only go during the week now because on the weekends I know I won’t get the deliciousness I crave.

Here we go hipsters here we go. What is the attraction here??? Its small. The décor is something out of an eclectic mess. The tables and the stools (?) at the counter are less than comfortable and mismatched. At first glance it is a germaphobs worst nightmare. You will see what i mean when you yourself enter.
Let me take a break from the bashing here because as you can see i gave it four stars. All restaurants survive on the single most important thing. Good food. If you dont have that they say ot wont last because it wont. This little two person kitchen which literally only fits two people side by side is putting out good food. There are a board of specials which really are well special. The menu seems rather basic however their actual preparation well it just doesnt translate into what is described on the menu. It surpasses it. Yet in a subtle way that you think well that was what i ate it was just so much better than than how it read.
There were a couple i guess peaks into the kitchen that disappointed. Seeing a tray of frozen biscuits being opened nearly broke my heart. Having no honey for said biscuit at least not being offered any after asking for it only further deepened the wound. A couple plates of food were sent back to be warmed up… only to be placed in the microwave for a minute and «call it good». All of this takes a star out of reach.
It is slightly overpriced. It is a long wait if you come with more than one person and you want a table. The wait staff does seem preoccupied with other things. They also seem to have a dont you know the routine? attitude. All this aside the Hipsters seem to take pride in knowing the routine. Content to take a cup of coffee from the bar and stand outside knowing the emptimess of a table or the lack of clearing of tables will never get any faster and the seating will be at the pace of leisurely at best. Portlanders will still come… is this the place? What do we do? As regulars and singles just seem to seat themselves… grab a coffee and the paper or their phone and settle in. The food stamds alone. Its just breakfast but its the most important meal of the day and they make you feel like it with what they put on your plate

Breakfast here on a Saturday or Sunday morning was a bit of a slow affair. We weren’t in a hurry but it also didn’t seem that busy to be that slow.
Our food was both scrumptious though and we’ll probably go back since it’s close to home. I think I had biscuits and gravy or some kind of delicious benedict and I think he had a special omelette with green peppers.
Water was a struggle. Paying was the botched dance where you’re ready but they’re gone then they come back for the card, then come back with the receipt.. .slow. Slow. Not awful, terrible, never-​coming-​back slow just mentionable slow.
We liked the feel of it and took our time reading the Wweek or mercury from their little sunny reading material nook.

Coffee is a weakness at this joint, that and the small space, but the coissant french toast and special of the egg benedict polenta is the bomb!

Warm, cozy, and delicious! My boyfriend and I had just run 6 miles in the rain. We were hungry and wet and cold. Bertie Lou’s was the perfect place to go to take care of all three.
The staff was super friendly and quick. I had the crab cake Benedict special and it was great. I will definitely be coming back here.