Lower Buckeye Jail

This review is only applicable for people on a 1 day sentence… I’ve not had the opportunity to be a long term resident.
I was sentenced one day for reckless driving. If you are about to have to do this, don’t sweat it. Yeah it sucks, but you can handle it.
First, you need to go in at night, like schedule your time for 9 or 10 pm. This is really important. If you do this you will most likely be released early the next morning. I got there at 10pm and was completely out by 9am, but I have heard people have gotten out as early as 3 or 4am. If report there in the morning, you WILL be there all day and into the next morning.
I have heard opinions on what day of the week to go in, most say you could be in there longer if you go on a weekend because they’re trying to process more people, but if you go on a slow day they could be in no hurry to get you out of there. I went on a Thursday which was recommended by my attorney and I was out in 11 hours. The day of the week is probably kind of a toss up because it depends on how many people they are getting in from downtown and processing to court.
Another important reminder, don’t forget to bring a towel! You will not be showering, but this will give you something to sit on softer than cement. You are allowed to bring 2 towels.
After finger prints, mugshot, medical questions, and some signatures, you’ll be moved to a cell. You will be in a ‘tank’ or medium sized cell for the duration of your stay. It consists of two long concrete benches and a jail toilet. You will not be processed into the tents on a one-​day sentence. You cell mates will be people doing the same thing as you, or people being processed in and out of the system. There is a fairly large population of guards and a lot of people being moved from cell to cell all night, so I don’t think anyone’s going to fuck with you in here. I mean if you’re a real dick you’re probably going to get your ass kicked, but then I’m sure you’re used to it by now.
You may get moved once or twice to different cells. Don’t let moving get your hopes up that you’re about to get out. They’re just reorganizing.
I would definitely eat before, but not something that will make you have to use the shitter. Hydrate because the water tastes like ass, and in my cell only the hot water worked.
So anyway, bring a book, a watch, a towel, and be mentally prepared to just sit and wait. Hear some stories and meet some funny & weird ass people! You’ll be fine!

Well, the landscaping is nice. There’s a large staff to attend to guests at all times,. But it’s my understanding accommodations are a little crowded and the meal plan rather limited. Despite this, the place is clearly a Four Seasons destination and just buzzing with activity all the time and nenver seems to be suffering from a shortage of guests, but then the place doesn’t appear to be particularly exclusive either. Apparently they let practically anybody in there. Note that the check– out process can be a rather drawn out procedure sometimes requiring 90 days or more, so if you are departing by taxi, you might want to tell them to not start the meter until you are in the car.

One night stay in jail? No sweat! I was out in 6 ½ hours.
Here are some notes about my experience after getting my first DUI (slightest degree), which required me staying In jail for 10 days, 9 of which were suspended, meaning I needed to spend ONE day in jail.
One day to the jail is to be booked through the end of a 12 hour window (either noon to midnight or vice versa). Don’t quote me on that but you’ll understand my point of view shortly. I was to spend a day in jail so I thought I would go through self-​surrender early in the morning to get out early the next day. I was informed by experiences others to go in late at night instead. I contacted the court (which will cost you $ 25 to change your incarceration date! — just one more fee…), changed my time to 10pm self surrender and went in that night.
When arriving, drive yourself if you can afford to (meaning my girlfriend and I share a car but she could survive if I ended up being stuck in jail for 24 full hours so I drove myself). There is free parking right outside the self surrender area. Park yourself, leave all other keys in your car. That way you don’t need to give anything up, you can keep it all with you through your stay.
Just stand outside the giant door that says self surrender. They’ll come and get you. Take an ID, a paperback book or magazine, and your car key in with you. It gets chilly once you’re in the concrete jail for a good amount of time. I wore sweatpants over basketball shorts (in case I got warm) and a t-​shirt with a light thermal over top of it and I was fine all evening. Actually took the thermal off and used it as a pillow to get some sleep.
It took about half an hour standing in a room while they did a medical questionnaire with the med staff, got my fingerprints and mug shots taken, got my «Jail ID» and was then taken to the holding cell. It was probably 20′ by 10′ with two wall length concrete benches, one side shorter to accommodate a walled off toilet/​sink in the back corner. The people you are with are either other one nighters or people that have served their sentence and are on their way out. Most people will be in pretty good spirits but if you’re nervous just take a book and keep you nose in it. IF YOU BRING A BOOK, make it a non novel, something with short chapters or easy stop and go reading, as it’s hard to focus with the relentless fluorescent light and talkative inmates.
Anyway, once I was booked and midnight came, the county got paid for having me as an inmate for ‘the day’ (2 12 hour periods) as I was incarcerated for the 18^th from 9pm-11:59am and the 19^th from 12am-3:30am, a portion of each counts as all for their purposes. Once midnight came, they started processing people out. I was re-​fingerprinted and moved around to a few more cells but then it was over. You get asked some identifying questions by the sergeant and then you’re released.
DO NOT GET IN YOUR HEAD ABOUT THIS. It will be over before you know it. In summation:
–Reading material: bring a short chapter book, a funny quote book, book of lists, magazine etc
–Personal Belongings: nothing besides clothes on your back, a jacket, single car key and one paper back book or magazine
–Time of surrender: GO IN AT NIGHT or spend unnecessary time in a jail cell
–Interaction: Keep an open mind. You won’t be placed with anyone dangerous, but with people on their way out so they will be on their best behavior (mostly) so they can get out of jail.
–Behavior: Listen intently when the officers speak and speak clearly when you speak. They deal with ignorant people all day and usually will have no patience for BS
If you have any other questions or concerns, ask around, do some research, but take everything with a grain of salt. I hope this helps someone at some point. Best of luck, criminal!

Why review a jail you might want to say,
well cause there are so many things that are just not okay.
Like for example, your cell phone is no good,
DOs won’t let you bring it in, though you wish you could.
Be careful with belts, watches and all your bling,
Off they will come if you set off that metal detector thing.
Also, don’t expect to see your loved one face to face,
You can see them at other jails, just not at this place.
You only get 30 minutes to visit which could be okay
but you only get to go on Sunday or Monday.
You should also expect delays and even shortened visits,
mostly because DOs can’t tell time or count minutes.
Sometimes you wonder and think:
Only 30 minutes in a single week?
Doesn’t the MSCO know they have people in there?
that we still love and hold dear?
Well, 30 minutes is gone in no time at all
especially in that cramped little video stall.
Some might deserve being wrung through the system,
but others are young, sweet and we missed them.
Basic human rights of dignity and nutrition
are often over looked for the inmates of this institution.
I wish I had better things to say for those that go,
but there’s not much good that comes from Sheriff Joe.
I hope this has been insightful
for those of you who need to know
the worst place in Phoenix
is operated by the M.S.C.O.

If you’re visiting you should know the inmates booking number and the only things you can bring with you are a key and an ID. Also, visiting is over a black and white monitor and phone, no more in person visits.
The ideal candidate for a job with the jail is highly insecure. The MSCO remedies this insecurity by giving them a badge on their uniform and control over a small population of people who have already been stripped of any rights or privileges– basically powerless. When you give sad people like that any kind of power, they automatically abuse it because they don’t get any respect in their pathetic real lives.
Unfortunately, when you visit someone in jail, you have to interact with these mental midgets. I’ve been here to visit someone and they didn’t know if they could accept a passport as acceptable identification. A group of them had to huddle together and weigh in on it before they decided a government issued identification was acceptable. Another time I came, they said they couldn’t let me in because they couldn’t find me in their «system» which I thought was a good thing.
Most recently though, the Chaplin made a special arrangement for me to see my brother in person when our father passed away. I didn’t ask, he offered. On my way to the jail I prepared myself for some type of hullabaloo with the dum dums running the visitors station. Sure enough, as soon as I told them the Chaplin sent me they informed me that the Chaplin doesn’t run the Maricopa county sheriffs office. I reminded him that I never suggested anything as ridiculous as the Chaplin running the sheriffs office but merely that he called me and told me to come see my brother. After about 20 minutes of talking as slow as possible to 5 different detention officers, I gave up and walked out. It’s like they all share one brain and the brain calls in sick all the time.