My Favorite Things

This place is out of business and should be taken off of this site! Wasted my time by going there.

After a brief, unfortunate and inglorious adventure upon a planet of singing pigs I thought that my most madcap set of escapades were surely complete… but then I was reminded by one of me crew that Mother’s Day was nigh upon us and that I’d collected nary one blackstar ruby nor moonflower for me dear old Mum.
Quite an embarrassing predicament for the king of the space pirates.
You cannot imagine my surprise when I landed squarely upon the doorstep of this tiny 22 year old shoppe in this tiniest of tiny towns.
Its unassuming storefront disguises a most wretched hive of antique tea cuppery, vintage quiltery, handmade goat soapery (I’ve never washed our goat), artisinal jewelry, handmade pillowery, a range of garden wonderments and an arsenal of dangerous-​looking antique kitchen implements secreted in its basement, ranged deep in the bowels below Palmetto.
This brilliant woman-​trap, this «Den of Estrogen» whose lady-​attracting abilities easily surpass anything I shall ever be able to craft (as most of my attempts at wooing the fairer sex involve me removing my breeches whilst singing schoolboy rhymes about certain aspects of my anatomy), is surely a most dangerous place for real men to tread.
My own skin didst begin to burn as I prowled about the shoppe, looking for a magic gift to assure that I possess me dear old Mum’s love for yet another year.
And then! I spied a lovely lavender-​tinted necklace of freshwater pearls in an old hutch and I screamed «Please, for the love of all that is manly, take my gold and allow me to depart this bewitched locale NOW, before I accidentally learn another thing about antique porcelain!!»
Happily, the gift was a hit and me dear old Mum loves me still.