J’s Island Fish House

I’ve been to Jamaica. This is no Jamaica. Now, I know what you’re gonna say:
«But Scott, that was Hedonism. It was more like an alternate universe where your taint tonsils got brown than it was real Jamaica.»
Okay, well first of all, you’ve got a valid point. But also it’s a little scary how you’d know that. I don’t know who you’ve been talking to about me, but in case it was not mentioned, I was in the pool! I was in the pool!
So why am I talking about Jamaica? Well, because this place appears to be trying for that, or at least some equally puzzling Caribbean flair. And I really don’t know why. The jerk chicken wings were nothing special. The jerk shrimp were nothing special. There’s just no flavor to the jerk and zero heat. They offer a burger here, and yet it’s not jerked? Why not? Half the menu is jerked. It doesn’t make sense. But nothing about this place really makes sense. Why is this island theme more important to them than great food? Why are the prices so high for serving such bland food? Why is their pie served without crust in a martini glass? Where else have I sunned my sack?
You sir and/​or madam ask way too many legally unanswerable questions. A better question would be:
«Will you be back here, Scott?»
Eh, probably not. Unless they pull a theater Pee-​wee and discover just how to properly jerk their meat.
(Oh right, like I was really going to get through this review without a jerk joke)

I was really interested to check this place out because the courtyard looks so pretty as you walk by. We arrived right as they were closing and the cook graciously decided to let us in and cook for us (do not read that sarcastically, he really was gracious to let us in when they were about to close.)
The menu and overall presentation of the food was not that impressive. For the prices they are charging you would expect something a little fancier. The music did get me bopping around as I waited for my food and then ate it. It was an eclectic mix of reggae, MJ, and oldies! The waiter was pretty nice too, and he brought us every little thing we asked for with nary an eye roll.
The food was tasty but nothing was exceptional. The best things we ate were the fried catfish po-​boy and french fries (really loved the fries, they were shoestringy delicious) and pecan pie a la mode, served in a cocktail glass. Yes, you read that right: pecan pie a la mode served in cocktail glass. Again, I think the prices are too high for what you actually get. But overall I had a positive experience, and the courtyard is really beautiful. If the prices were lower, I think this place would be a lot more popular.

We happened upon this place Saturday night in search of food downtown, and I was immediately drawn in by the huge courtyard and (quite excellent) reggae band playing outside.
Overall, the menu is pretty meh, especially for a vegetarian. Seems like they’re trying really hard to adhere to this «island» theme, when really just having great food and a huge courtyard is more than enough to keep people coming back.

This is a beutiful property in an historic location and it is a complete digrace as a restauarnt or bar. I rarely have witnessed such carelessness. Just playing tapes of regae music does not make a restaruant Carribean. The menu is very limited and mostly fried foods and there is no attempt at any theme or authentic recipes. We witnessed a vendor carrying in non-​premium shortening so we knew what our food was fried in. We ordered the «award winning» shrimp and grits at $ 13 and there were only 2 shrimp, the «award winning» burger was carelessly cooked and was mashing a few soggy, brown fries in a small plastic basket. The margaritas were unacceptable and the sangria tasted like left over mulled wine with cinnamon. The service was careless as well and the manager was totally unconcerned. Since there was no trophy case with culinary medals in it I suggest they take «award winning» off the menu and concentrate on getting the few simple dishes they offer right and dicontinue maiing cocktails until they learn how.
Enjoy the patio with a glass of wine or beer and go somewhere else for food where they care about the customers.

First of all, the music is very generic. You would hope that a place with such an enticing name would at least play fitting music ESP in NOLA.
The «Perfecto Margarita» is served up which is NOT mentioned on the menu. In addition, it is horribly sweet and off balance.
When our food finally arrived, our server did politely offer us a drink of our choice to make up for the long wait. The Andy Gator was the best thing we got out of the experience.
My bf did enjoy his «Island Burger» with pineapple chunks (wtf?). The crawfish fritters are chewy & mild, served with a typical cocktail sauce. My chef salad with diced pear, blue cheese, & strawberry balsamic vinaigrette actually contained 4 very thin slivers of pear & 3 small chunks of cheese. I asked for more. The salad was drenched with the dressing which was thankfully tasty.
The 1 star is for the lovely courtyard which is brutally assaulted by neon signs & flat screen tvs. If you’ve a hankering for a depressing dose of Americana, this is your spot.

This was a pretty dismal experience in all aspects.
1. Staff Attentiveness: BF and I walk in the front door. There is one seated table inside, about 4 on the patio. We stand there for… 3 minutes or so without being approached. Finally walk out to the patio and stand there for another minute or so. Finally walk up to the bar and ask: «Should we seat ourselves?»
Bartender: «Yes, someone will be right there.»
Five minutes later, a table of 5 sits next to us. Within a minute they have a server. We have yet to have any staff person do anything except look at us when walking by.
Finally someone comes and tells us that the big table (maybe 10 people?) that was seated before we got there has «all the menus» and that they’ll bring us one when they’re done. Starts to walk away, and then stops, «Can I get you a drink?» YEAH THAT WOULD BE AWESOME.
We ask for water and coke, and say that we’ll order more to drink after we see the menu. Menu and drinks come. We wait 10 minutes before we can order, at which point I ask what red wines they have, and clarify: «I don’t need label names, just TYPES of red wine, Merlot, Cab…» Waitress says she’s not sure, gets the wine menu. I order a glass of wine, BF orders a beer. We order 1 app for first service, and then 1 salad and 1 entrée for dinner.
20 minutes later: we get the app. And more water. Still no booze.
10 mintues later (mind you, this is THIRTY [30!!] minutes after we ordered it), booze arrives.
25 minutes later, entrees arrive.
The only thing that happened quickly was getting the check.
2, FOOD
Menu is very NOLA touristy, mixed with «Carribean» flair: po-​boys, fried fried fried, jerk _​_​_​, etc. NOT vege friendly. Pescatarian (like me!) friendly, but you better be in the mood for fried.
a. fried green tomatoes with prawn ($ 11)
two small slices tomatoes, overly coated and good only if you peeled half the breading off. 1 giant prawn with no flavor to speak of.
b. Caeasar salad ($ 7? $ 9?): standard lettuce and dressing (surprisingly underdressed, however). Nice touch: grape tomatoes. House made croutons: good flavor, too big for comfort.
c. Shrimp pasta ($ 17? something outrageous): TERRIBLE. Clearly cheap frozen shrimp (all 5? 6? of them), terrible sauce. BF couldn’t even finish it. And he eats some crap, I tell you what.
3. Which brings me to COST.
Standard NOLA tourist menu, with over exobitant prices.
Charging me $ 2 more for my glass of wine than what was listed on the menu? HUGE mistake. That kinda stuff comes out of your tip.
Anyway: The bill was entirely too high for the quality of the food or the service. If it’s going to cost me $ 60 for dinner for two, it better be edible, and I better have service that doesn’t infuriate me.
4. Ambience: the courtyard is AMAZING. Pretty and quiet — you forget you’re steps away from Frenchmen St. We happened to be there on one of the first fall nights after the long hot summer. So that was extra good.
80s music on the speakers: always good.
Singer/​songwriter/​guitarist who started playing midway though: eh.
Verdict: I wouldn’t go again. Even if someone else was paying.
I know they’re somewhat new, so I hope the service, kitchen timing, and menu/​bill $$ discrepencies get worked out as they continue to operate.
However, time is not going fix that food. Not without using better ingredients and making sure it isn’t so overpriced for what you’re getting.