Royal Inn

Unless you are cracked out of your mind & completely shot out you would agree that this motel is not suitable for a dog, let alone human occupancy. We visited long branch beach on a holiday weekend. We drove up from NC. The Holiday Inn express (where we resided the previous night) gave our reservations away for what they called a «misunderstanding». Needless to say, we were forced to stay at the Royal Inn as they were the only hotel/​motel within a 30 mile radius that wasn’t completely booked. That should have been a sign, but of course hind sight is ²⁰⁄₂₀. Ftr I have written reviews in the past, and they have all been positive. I’ve always managed to find the silver lining of any situation. Its my way of giving businesses the benefit of the doubt because I know how hard it is to run a business. And frankly the perfect business does not exist. The point I’m trying to make is that i do not have very high expectations. But this motel room was an atrocity. The room was generally unclean. All parts of it were dirty, dusty, and stinky. The shower and tub were rusted and of course generally dirty. The water smelt/​tasted STRONGLY of iron/​rust (i found this out brushing my teeth unfortunately). When I got home from this trip I diligently researched my medical records to be sure my tetanus shot was up to date because I’m sure the pipes were completely rusted for the water to taste and smell as such. The general atmosphere in the room resembled a shabby motel room from the 70’s in a third world country. We pulled back each layer of the comforter set and sheets, each time praying the next layer would be better than the last as we so desperately just wanted to go to sleep. But of course each layer including the blanket had countless dark brown stains on them. Some stains looked like blood and others were clearly urine. Needless to say we stripped the bed and got our own blanket out of our car to put on the bed as a protective barrier. We carefully laid on top of it being sure not to touch anything. Desperate times call for desperate measures right. Just moments after we laid down the air conditioner came on. It smelt like 5 chain smokers were inside of it using all the might in their degenerating lungs to blow hot moist cigarette smoke directly onto our faces. The air smelt like an ash tray from the smoking section in hell and just when we thought things couldn’t get worse came the flies. And boy were they relentless. They were so bold! You know, like the ones you see in a commercial for a third world country with poverty stricken individuals where the flies just sit on their faces and they don’t budge even when they move and swat. These flies must of been closely related. They must of come into the country via a shea butter shipment. They were relentless, landing on our faces and buzzing in our ears. It was horrible! I thought I was having a nightmare, but of course I wasn’t having a nightmare because that would imply I was dreaming, which would imply I was sleeping, and sleep was a luxury The «Royal» Inn was apparently incapable of granting me. I genuinely do not understand how they are still in business. We packed up and left like the roof was on fire. I’ve never managed to pack so fast. I mean I may have set a military record. We were out of there so quick leaving nothing behind but a trail of smoke, looking forward to sleeping in the car. Upon leaving we noticed things outside that we’d overlooked coming in. I guess we were so happy to have found a room that we overlooked some obvious discrepancies and red flags. We noticed several abandoned cars & some people who were clearly under the influence of some very powerful narcotics lingering like zombies in the night. One persons vehicle was on bricks with clothes on hangers dangling from its door and windows. I wouldn’t be surprised if Heisenberg was in the next room cooking up a fresh batch of blue ice. Fortunately the attendant refunded us without too much fuss. This is likely attributed to the fact of them knowing just how unsanitary the rooms are hence avoiding us being upset enough to report them. Fortunately we found the energy to drive an hour away to a much more suitable hotel. When we got back home to NC days later we told family and friends about the experience which has turned into a commonly used joke amongst us: anytime something is repulsively disgusting we say that it is «royally disgusting». Because «disgusting» alone is insufficient for some things. It does them no justice. Some thing’s are excessive to the point of Royal Disgust. But as I mentioned before i desperately try to find the good in everything, so here goes: if you have aspirations to visit a third world country, but you can’t find it in your budget, *Geico Voice*: You Can Save 15% or More in Travel Costs By Switching to The Royal Inn. Just make sure all of your shots are up to date!