Auntie Anne’s

It’s a mall pretzel stand.
Pretzels, pretzel dogs, and drinks they offer. This time when Jay and I came to eat pretzels, we asked the staff what their favorite pretzel was. They were so confused and you would think I asked them to explain nuclear fusion. I dare anyone who goes to this location to ask the staff what their favorite menu item is. It’s more entertaining than the 3 dollar pretzel your going to get.

As hard as it may be to believe, I tried AA’s for the first time the other day. We were waiting for the girlfriend’s car to be serviced and needed something to tide us over whilst cruising the Beaver Valley Mall.
Yeah, the word on the street was accurate; Auntie Anne’s pretzel is a cheap floozy reeking of even cheaper perfume, and she won’t leave the premises!
Canned Pillsbury dough (I’m guessing) is cut up, stretched, twisted, and baked into a number of bizarre, possibly inappropriate (criminal?) configurations and varieties.
I mean, it’s a sweet dough we’re talking here. Would you put pepperoni on something that tastes like a breakfast pastry? AA does. They even put garlic on them.
AA’s pretzels are flat in shape. Who flattens a pretzel? I want to flatten whoever dreamt up that daringly dumb innovation.
The honey mustard dipping sauce I got with it only made the sickeningly saccharine thing even more sickeningly saccharine.
Auntie Anne is the scourge of malls across the nation! She must be driven out by round, fat South Side Pretzels!