Olde Schoolhouse Diner

I gave it one star because our server was such a sweetie. And there’s no «no star» rating.
This was my third visit. And my last. First visit when we went to lunch a few months ago at my beloved 2^nd Street Café and it was gone. ARGH! But across the street this other place, the Schoolhouse Diner, had popped up. And we are on our lunch-​hour and time’s a-​wastin’, so… Second visit — I don’t want to talk about. So let’s discuss the last and final visit…
The place is cute. Homey. Small and cozy and bright inside. Quite clean. I like the vintage salt and pepper shakers on the tables.
Lunch Partner and I were the only diners at just about noon. Sat down at a booth, server-​sweetie was right there. LP ordered water, I got iced tea. I think it was canned or instant tea — it was oddly opaque. LP ordered the Philly Cheese Steak that came with a side of chips, I ordered the special: Veggie quiche with a side of fruit. Server-​sweetie and I discussed contents of fruit cup and I told him I did not like melon, and he said he’d do his best to reduce the melon ratio in the cup.
Lunch arrived pretty quickly – 5−7 minutes. That’s good for a workday lunch. LP’s Philly Cheese Steak sandwich was about 4 inches long and had about 2 ounces of sliced beef, some processed cheese, a scattering of onions and peppers. He literally ate it in three bites. (Growing boy.) Typical bagged chips in a cardboard cup, and I swear there was less than you’d get in one of the little bags from the store. What can I say about the quiche? Gordon Food Service? I knew the minute the plate was put before me — the egg of the quiche was this virulent yellow that screamed «Artificial Food Coloring!!!» Unidentifiable green and flecks of red veggies. The crust was one of those ones with the perfectly crimped edges that you KNOW is machine made. I guess they had pre-​baked it and then nuked it as ordered because the bottom of the crust was glued to the melamine plate. Seriously, they probably needed a chisel to clean it off. And it had absolutely no flavor. None. Nada. A blank slate. I had to ask for hot sauce so I knew I was putting something beside soggy yuck in my mouth. (It didn’t really help). The fruit cup, however, was fresh and server-​sweetie had painstakingly picked out the melon, so it was enjoyable, all four forkfuls.
The whole meal, excluding tip, came to a few cents under $ 18. I know. Highway robbery for food they didn’t cook, but just warmed up. (I did leave server-​sweetie a nice tip)
To be fair, I hear they do a couple of home-​cooked specials like chicken and dumplings and cabbage rolls that are supposed to be good and must be, because the previous visits, I was told they were «sold out». But this is so typical. Joe Blow finds a cute venue, sets up a minimal kitchen, offers a couple of homemade goodies like Momma used to make (let’s hope Momma could cook!) and then brings in the rest of the menu from Sam’s Club and GFS. So sad. I remember fondly dear ol’ Second Street Café, where the dude behind the counter made everything fresh and he told me he invented a lot of his soup recipes himself.
Sorry, for the price, I could have gone over to Chumps, one of my favorites, and LP and I could have had a really yummy, filling lunch for less. Compare: 8.95 for that disgusting quiche as opposed to 5.99 for a hearty portion of fresh made chicken salad on a big bed of greens with cheese and onions and such and homemade honey-​mustard dressing. Ummm… yeah. Not.
Consider Schoolhouse Diner expelled from my dining directory.