UYE: Look at These Effin’ Hipsters Pub Crawl

I should get voted «funny» on some of these just because I’m comically late.
This night was a Ra Ra Riot. I started off at the Filling Station with some others in order to indulge my inner Aquarium Drunkard, even though I knew doing so would result in a bad case of The Morning Benders and a headfirst Slowdive into the toilet bowl.
Then met our main group, a veritable Animal Collective of Local Natives, at the DRB. There were many Girls there, some of whom whispered Wild Nothings in my ear about Real Estate before I eventually led them out by their Ducktails so I could show them my Neon Indian.
On to the Vagabond. Last time I’d been in here, it was called I/​O — I was a little disappointed, because I remember there being a lot more Hipster Runoff back then. Before getting in, though, there was a long line out on the Pavement and some goon presiding over the crowd with a Lush velvet rope. I wondered how many Avey Tares I was going to have to pay him to get in; I thought this was supposed to be a free Ride. God, I hate club doormen; those guys always know how to push my F**k Buttons and get my Surfer Blood boiling. Such are the Pains Of Being Pure At Heart. I wanted to skewer him with a Pitchfork, plug his ears with Stereogum and throw him in a Cold Cave with a Brown Recluse. What a Jay Reatard. But then Rony had a little Talk Talk with the guy, and the seas parted.
Once inside, they had some beer promo tie-​in going, so no PBR was available, which annoyed Hipster-​ific «Kathleen» Hannah. Somehow, though, I got in before the jump and was practically the only dude in the Vagabond with a PBR in hand. Surprised I didn’t get beaten to a bloody Pulp.
What of the rest of the night? I don’t know, it was a Blur.

I love me some hipsters and I love me some bar crawls so what could be more perfect than the two combined?
Everyone’s got a story and here’s my hipster tale.
Since I don’t condone raping of any kind, much less wallet raping, i didn’t make it to the DRB.
It began at the Vagabond on a hot and humid SoFla night. I wanted to make it in early to get my 10 – 11 madness on but to my shagrin, due to Back Door Bambys Quinceanera, no 10 – 11 just 5 dollar PBRs. I guess it shall suffice.
Sip, sippin’ on PBRs and some red-​headed slut shots I made my way onto the dance floor. Shaking and twisting and flailing as I always do, I met up with some of my boys and shimmied the night away. Ryan Evans always jams but there was some chick doin’ her MacBook Dj thang that was equally as awesome.
There were many a character dressed in their freak-​a leek best. They posed for pics and cavorted with the patrons.
Bar Black, I love/​hate you! I did have quite a good time hangin out with Tashi, Robbie D, Greg, Lena, JL, Brent and Arwen. We danced and drank and shot the shit.
I missed out on Grand Central and more Vagabondian action due to an impromptu soirée arranged at Lena’s house. We karaoked and did some very interesting floor routines alongside Leah who is my new dance coach.
Thanks Rony for putting together a hiptastic hop. You looked fantastic in your YMCA outfit. Happy Bday baby doll! I’m looking forward to the next one!

Great bars, great theme, great people. What more could you ask for?
I had a blast. Guzzled PBR to start the night, switched to the harder stuff once we hit Vagabond, and started to sober up at Grand Central.
As always, the highlight of the UYE was hanging out with all of the super awesome Unilocalers, like my new best friends Greg G. and Bread… I mean, Brent. I decided somewhere between drinks 5 and 6 that we were all going to be BFFs. Sabrina & Hannah looked like real hipsters, Yislin was gorgeous and glam as always, and Patrick reminded me of Glee’s Mr. Schuester all night with that hat. Too much fun! Can’t wait for the next one.

I left when it became too popular but I guess I should have been «mainstream» and tagged along to a truly. epic. evening. In my Cuban hipster shirt I got the opportunity to socialize with les Unilocalsters at DRB while enjoying a faux Cuban beer that no ones heard of. Ditto for a Bells Cherry Stout! The mix of classical 90s hiphop and indie rock made for the start of a fun night.
Big ups to Rony, Bo and Dong fo’ a fun event!

so being this was my first official pubcrawl from beginning to end… I must say. it was quite an experience!
I have to give myself some props for actually being confused as a «actual» hipster… and for those who know me… I am far, far from ever being one. So pat on the back on that one!
Started off at DRB, great place for beer drinkers, although Rony hooked me up with an apple tasting belgium beer that was awesome!
Moving right along to the Vagabond…(one of my fave places in Miami now) the party started from the moment we stepped foot in it. Very unusual characters to say the least, but awesome nonetheless.
Finish it off at Grand Central… crazy party, let’s jump and go wild!
Even though I can remember some parts and others not really, I can honestly say it was an awesome pubcrawl! Thanks to Rony for being such a great planner and for driving around in his car trying to find the lost hipsters roaming around the streets! you rock!

There’s never been such an awesome crowd of effin’ hipsters to hit the streets of Miami (if I do say so myself). Dressed in our best hipster gear, from moustaches and high-​tops to ironic t-​shirts and black glasses galore — we took to the streets to make our mark on downtown. And make our mark, we did…
From the DRB to the Vagabond and Grand Central, we buzzed in like a too-​cool-​for-​school whirlwind and brought the party with us, everywhere we went. Dancing, drinking and striking our best stone-​faced poses were serious business, and we excelled.
You know you’re successful when you’re mistaken for REAL hipsters. That’s an accomplishment I won’t be forgetting anytime soon. :)
Props to Rony, Mike and Bo for planning one hell of a night, and to Maria for hooking it up at Grand Central. I’m pretty sure we’re going down forever in Miami hipster lore.