Miami’s Vice City Rollers

Great place to take the family, loads of fun. I try and go during the winter months when is not so hot.

Dear Miami’s Vice City Rollers,
Can I just tell you how much fun I had on a random Saturday night? We came here over the summer, I want to say mid-​August; it was myself, my girl Michelle L., my fiancé and our friend Rich. We packed a cooler with beers, after first having a couple at home, and headed over from my house, which is almost literally across the street, located within the parking lot area of the Palmetto Bay Golf Course.
On this evening, your team was facing another from Tampa, and the battles were ruthless! The energy with your girls and withing the crowd was simply exhilarating! It was all I could do from jumping on in, especially since we chose to pay a little extra for the «suicide seats», which means were were inches from the excitement, almost right in the rink. The girls all have awesome names, great gear and tough attitudes. I really enjoyed watching you play!!!
Definitely a great way to support local atheletes and spend a fun evening. Looking forward to the next one, and who knows, maybe I’ll convince myself to join.
Wishing you all the Best,
SabrinaAnna*

Let me start out this posting by getting a little personal…
As a pubescent, feathered haired, voice cracking 13 year old growing up in rural South Carolina in 1986, I was lucky enough to accidentally discover the greatest sport of all time… Women’s Roller Derby!
One day after school, I was told by a 9^th grade girl (love those older women!) to meet her at the local skating rink so we could «make out» in some dark corner inside someplace because she thought I looked like a cross between Jon Bön Jovi and some unknown daytime soap opera actor on «General Hospital» who her grandmother (she called her «MeeMaw») both had a crush on. Of course I agreed to this meeting and sprayed a gallon of «Stetson» men’s cologne on myself in hopes that this would make me even more attractive. Little did I know in 1986 that «Stetson» SUCKED and still does in 2011.
So I think we were supposed to meet around 5pm inside but since I had to catch a ride with mom in her God-​awful, puke-​green 1981 Dodge Stationwagon I got there an hour early so that this girl would never see me get out of the thing.
So I pay the $ 5.00 fee and go inside where the manager informed me that I would have to wait a bit because the rink was «being used by dem thar gals.» I look into the rink and just stared in amazement at about 20 gorgeous women practicing these odd roller skating drills. Now this was like 1) Grabbing the Tooth Fairy as she rummages around under my pillow, 2) being saved from drowning by a Mermaid, and 3) taking a photograph of Bigfoot going through my garbage, rolled all into one because gorgeous women DO NOT EXIST in my small mountain town!
I was utterly fascinated as I quickly took a seat in the bleachers and looked on at the awesomeness that lay before me!
They were sweating and grunting, skating hard, yelling various commands all the while dressed in neon 80’s spandex. (Which was HOT at the time!)
After about 20 minutes the drills ended and some of the women skated over near me. The Elton John ballad, «Candle In The Wind» kept running through my mind at the part in the end where he cries“I would’a liked to know you, but I was juuuust a kid…“
I was waaaaay too shy to ever approach these Playboy-​esque looking women on roller skates and tell them everything that was running through my dirty little 13 year old imagination. That was until one of the older skaters (she had to be 40ish… and did I mention that I love those older women?!) actually came over near me to take her skates off and said hello to me! This was the first time in my life where I engaged in public conversation with a hot woman. (My hometown was/​is reallllllllllly small!)
She then began to describe the sport of women’s Roller Derby to me in detail and explained that they were practicing for a match in two weeks near Clemson, SC against another Roller Derby team from somewhere in Georgia. I told her I would be there and the loudest guy in the place rooting for my new team, the Upstate Derby Dixie Dames… but the exact moment I fell in love is when she told me her derby name: Natalie-​Would-​U-​Bite-​Me. (Get it?)
So by this point I had forgotten all about the 9^th grade girl I was supposed to meet which was okay anyways because she had completely stood me up! (Another «first» that fateful day)
But looking back, I have to thank her because she inadvertently introduced me to Roller Derby! (Thanks you skank!)
Fast forward to 2011… I’m a respectable professional living in Miami Beach far removed from the rural life of the deep south and the Upstate Derby Dixie Dames. To this day, I LOVES ME SOME DERBY! I followed two teams in the Carolinas and after I moved to Miami several years ago I began following a team up in Broward County but it wasn’t until I had a chance to meet Miami’s ONLY Roller Derby team, the VICE CITY ROLLERS that I became completely loyal and devoted to a team in about 17 years! These girls are the shiz’nit (See page 482 of the Snoop Dog Dictionary for the definition of that) and are just some of the most awesome athletes you will ever bear witness to! They are also just an awesome bunch of people… and easy on the eyes too, if ya like your women to be as tougher or tougher than you! I would definitely want the Vice City Rollers to have my back in a bar fight!
If you live in the 305, you MUST come see your team play! Take my word on this, the Marlins, Heat and Dolphins rip people off year in and year out for hundreds and even thousand of dollars and don’t come close to providing the excitement these girls do! (Bouts are usually $ 10 to watch) Plus, if given the choice, I would watch these gorgeous women on skates battle it out then to watch LeBron James toss baby powder up in the air for $ 350 a ticket in the nosebleed section.
They have a fan page on Facebook which will let you know when and where their bouts will be taking place so please do a quick search and get in on this!

Miami’s Vice City Rollers are awesome. They’re the most welcoming bunch of gals around. They have an awesome skate coach who’s notorious in Miami’s long-​boarding and skateboarding scene. He works with the girls to make sure they get their feet work down before they tackle the track.
De La Ruthless and Tally run a great practice. If you’re not interested in skating, they’re looking for volunteers.

Miami’s Vice City Rollers is Miami-​Dade County’s new women’s Flat Track Roller Derby League. MVCR is open to adults ages 18 and up. No previous skating experience is needed. Not a skater? MVCR needs volunteers too!
Practices are Sunday nights from 6−8PM at the Suniland Roller Hockey Rink located in the East side of the Palmetto Golf Course on Coral Reef Drive. Call first to confirm practices.