KFC

The employees at the location are terrible, service sucks because they spend more time talking to each other than taking orders. I had to drive to the front to complete my order. After I left I realized they didn’t put everything I ordered in the bag!!! I will never go here again!!! Service is very poor don’t wait your time! If I could give this place a no star would be even better.

Fast food is really not good for you. I haven’t been to KFC in decades and was too lazy today to make my own meal. So given the choices of bad fast food hamburgers or KFC chicken, I thought I would come back. I think they had two parking spaces in the lot. Ridiculous. Service was fast. Chicken still tastes the same. Yup, better than a fast food burger. Stick with the original recipe since the extra crispy is all batter.

Worst service ever. Never acknowledged while waiting at counter to order, never said a thing after I thanked them for handing me my card back. They hot the order wrong and cranked up the music so loud we couldn’t hear each other talk. Worst KFC I’ve ever been to.

An unprecedented review consisting of not 1, not 2, not 3, but 4 letters.
Dear My Grill,
I know you are angry! With the recent KGC campaign, people continue to profane the grill name. Somehow, people associate grilling w/​being healthy and that simply using a sharpie or some other implement to draw no less than 3 «grill marks» makes it a grilled item. Take the KGC’s for example. They are the dinkiest pieces of chicken ever, and look and taste baked, save for the 3 grill indents. They didn’t even get the marks right.
Don’t worry. I’ll go on Unilocal and give your name the honor it deserves.
xoxo,
Su
——
Dear Colonel Sander’s Family,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!! Do you NOT hear that horrid sound? That’s the sound of the Good Colonel turning in his grave repeatedly!
Now I know it seems food chains are having crises these days, what with Pizza Hut serving pasta and McDonald’s serving salads. But that doesn’t excuse you for dishonoring the Good Colonel this way! I mean, would Dave Thomas be ok w/​Wendy’s serving non-​square beef patties? I don’t think so! Leave those rotund entrepreneurs to rest in peace.
Furthermore, where’s The Colonel’s secret flavor recipe of 11 herbs and spices? I counted no more than 5 herbs and spices in this lame addition to the KFC lineup.
For shame!
No xoxo, but a firmly wagging finger,
Su
— — -
Dear Oprah,
I don’t watch your show. And with your endorsement of this dry, dinky, flavorless chicken, I don’t think I will start either. Still, your advertising prowess is unmatched. You had people lining up by the hundreds at a mostly forgotten fast food franchise, with everyone in line saying, «It must be good! Oprah said it was!!!» I bow down to you.
xoxo,
Su
P. S. I didn’t watch the show where you endorsed the chicken, but I was wondering if you shouted, «EVERYONE GETS GRILLED CHICKEN!!!»
P. P. S. May I have tickets to that show where you give away stuff by telling people to look under their seats? Pretty please?
——
Dear KFC Lanham,
I’ve been patronizing this location since I was a wee fatty. But my recent visits have been particularly stinky. First, your main parking area is rather tiny and right next to your dumpsters. Combined w/​a Westerly wind, this makes for some singed nose hairs. Second, your employees are friendly and efficient, but please ask them to complete BOTH steps of taking out the trash: Step 1) Remove trash bag from trash receptacle. Step 2) Take trash bag out to dumpsters right next to customer cars. Merely completing Step 1 and leaving the trash bags out in the lobby is neither appetizing nor appropriate.
A side hug, but no kiss,
Su
——
Yeah, I drank the Oprah-​aid and got me some free KGC. If it wasn’t free, I’d have been seriously angry. Apparently, the chicken is touted as being low-​calorie — that’s b/​c they are the smallest pieces ever. Thankfully, they still serve fried chicken, so I paid for a few pieces, drank the mayonnaise sauce from the cole slaw and my anger subsided… a little.