Anderson W. Clark Magnet High School

challenging school, but it’s good

Cool school.

terribelleee!!!

I was originally intending for this to be a humorous review, but Andy O. has done a fine job outlining the funnier points of the mess that is Anderson W. Clark Magnet High School.
Clark touts recognition at the state and national levels for being a top school, and likes to promote its GUSD-​leading API ranking, but let’s be honest here, the bar is low. There are a few staff members and teachers who care about and do their jobs well, but on the whole, Clark is a case study on academic mismanagement and why many students in the American educational system succeed in spite of the schools they attend rather than because of them.
As I sit here at 27 years of age writing this, I’m fairly happy with where I am in my life. I graduated from a top university and work at a job I love, which just happens to be with one of the most successful companies in history. I’m not trying to come off sounding like a tool here, but I want to make it clear that my success in these two areas commonly associated with a quality high school education came as a result of my own hard work, talent, and determination rather than anything Clark can take credit for.
Thank you, Clark, for the ‘innovative’ curriculum that ended up being completely misaligned with the first-​year prerequisites at nearly every U.S. university, the lack of any *quality* extracurricular activities, and your Draconian code-​of-​conduct which sought to stifle any sort of self-​expression and created a culture hell-​bent on breeding America’s next group of mindless followers rather than its future innovators, thinkers, and leaders.
On a more personal note, thanks for the 4 or 5 (?) suspensions as well. Like Andy Oh, I guess I too am a gangster.
This review is getting too long and angsty already, so I think I’ll end here. I will leave you with one last funnier memory, though. During one of its first years in operation, Clark was extremely excited to field a team for the district-​wide academic bowl. Expectations were set high since, you know, Clark was full of nothing but the brightest students being coached by the best staff.
End result? Last place finish.

I was in the second graduating class at Clark Magnet High School (ever), and I have to say I fucking hated it.
There are several ridiculous things about Clark (which were true back in 2002, who knows if they still hold today?):
— If you wear a shirt without a collar, you’re a gangster.
— If your shirt isn’t a single solid color, you’re a gangster.
— If you wear jeans, you’re a gangster.
— If your belt is the braided/​woven leather kind, you’re a gangster.
— If your shirt has any logo, you’re a gangster.
— If you listen to music at any time, you’re a gangster.
Every single one of the above-​mentioned items were/​are banned at Clark. Seriously, if you showed up with a polo shirt with stripes, you’d be suspended for a day on the premise that you were gang-​affiliated. I’m not joking.
Basically, the school was convinced that every single thing you did made you a gangster. Of course it helped that I definitely am pretty G.
A few stories…
— Some serious racist staff. No, seriously. Not all, but definitely some. Have fond memories of some teachers, but the Vice Principal at the time had the nerve to sit and try to explain to my mother that she doesn’t know how to raise a kid and that she needs to consider the way she disciplines me at home. And this was over a suspension for writing goofy comments in lieu of answers on a quiz I knew didn’t matter to my fucking STRAIGHT A status. My mother’s English isn’t too solid, and the Vice Principal took it as her opportunity to belittle her. Naturally, I snapped, yelled at her and told her to go fuck herself, and walked out with my horrified mother in tow. She mailed me my notice of 5-​day suspension and I enjoyed a free break. Nobody talks to my mother that way. While Clark was convinced I’d be a life failure, here I am 10 years later making probably double to triple the pay of anybody on the staff there (that includes the Principal). Try to tell my mother she doesn’t know how to raise a kid now.
— A buddy (Leo K., who I’d imagine will be posting a review shortly) and I were driving around the parking lot in circles during our senior year. There were no other students in the area. One of the Physical Education teachers came down and sent us to the office, where we were told to return w/​our parents for suspension review the next morning. Fair enough, except the next morning, they played back surveillance footage recorded at like 1 frame per second (literally), but played back in fast-​forward, making it seem like I was fucking teleporting all over the parking lot with my 1990 piece of shit Benz 190E. The Principal stated that we were «drag racing» in the parking lot. Naturally, we both replied,“Drag racing?! We were driving in giant circles!” And he snapped back,“I KNOW DRAG RACING WHEN I SEE IT. DON’T QUESTION ME!” Fucking idiot. We both got suspended for a few days… and spent our time playing video games and eating food. Way to really punish us, Clark! Really learned our lessons there…
— I almost got in a fist-​fight with my Economics teacher in 12^th grade. Mr. Gilliam. I think that’s how it’s spelled. It was his first year teaching. And he was a child molester. No, seriously, this guy would foam at the mouth in excitement when talking to the 17-​year-​old girls in his classes. They got instant ‘A’s. For everybody else, it was a crapshoot. He almost ruined my admission to UCLA by dropping my grade from an A+ to a D because he didn’t like my conclusion on a company research project we had to do. We argued, he raised my grade back up, and I basically made him my bitch. He took a week off for sick days, then came back and raised EVERYBODY’S grade to a minimum of a C+. Yep, my bitch. He was fired the next year, supposedly. Not surprised. These are the kind of people that Clark hires.
… Man, too many stories to tell, but this review’s getting long. Long story short, if you go to Clark, it’s likely that everything you do automatically means you’re a gangster.