Shipley Do-Nuts

Celebrating 12−12−12.
Sing along:
On the twelfth day of Christmas my Shipley’s gave to me:
12 tasty donuts
12 paper napkins
12 do-​nut holes
5 gold-​en rings… (plain donuts)
4 smiles a-​grinnin’
3 minute wait
2 boxes full
and a Parked-​rich lim-​o-​sine!
Evaluation of donuts (prefaced by «- -«), using relevant quotes from the 1967 movie «Dirty Dozen»:
Major John Reisman: «You’ve seen a general inspecting troops before haven’t you? Just walk slow, act dumb and look stupid!»
— - Donuts were as good as any other Shipley’s.
Capt. Stuart Kinder: «Doesn’t give me anything. But along with these other results, it gives *you* just about the most twisted, anti-​social bunch of psychopathic deformities I have ever run into! And the worst, the most dangerous of the bunch, is Maggott. You’ve got one religious maniac, one malignant dwarf, two near-​idiots… and the rest I don’t even wanna think about! «
Major John Reisman: «Well, I can’t think of a better way to fight a war.»
— - Donut holes were disappointing (not fully formed into a round ball).
Major John Reisman: [briefing the dozen] «And kill any officer in sight. «
Victor R. Franko: «Ours or theirs?»
— - Surprise! There were no Houston Police Officers around. But there was a guy dressed in some car repair uniform sitting at a small table.
Samson Posey: «I don’t want to hurt you Major. «
Major John Reisman: «You’re not gonna hurt me, I’m gonna hurt you.»
— - What??? No special discount deal on «Dozen Day»???
Col. Everett Dasher Breed: «What’s your name, soldier?»
Pinkley: «Number two, Sir!»
— - For some reason, this Shipley’s store number is not listed directly when using Google.