Cleo Stress Clinic

Wow, I think this is a brothel. Also known as a bordello, cat house or whorehouse. And I am not kidding. I think this might just in fact be a den of debauchery.
And you know, I don’t really take issue with that. I think it’s okay. I mean look at it this way, if it’s legal to join the Army to have the govt give you a machine gun and send you to another country to kill other humans for «freedom», why should it be illegal for a woman to charge you to have sex with her? I mean, what’s more harmful? Selling love should not be illegal. Because giving another person an orgasm is a pleasant and thoughtful gesture, as opposed to shooting someone for your country, which is rude at the very least. But I’m married now.
Anyway, here’s what happened … I have no idea what topic we were on but for some reason my dentist told me that I might want to consider visiting a stress clinic. And yeah, I didn’t know. And in fact, I need to have a talk with that lady. I’ve known her for 22 years, all the way back when we were both young, skinny and sexier, and I sure hope she wasn’t telling me that I need to get laid. And now with some of the things that have come out of her mouth in the past (and I like it), it wouldn’t surprise me. I just wish I could remember why.
So I park my car here, about a week later, walk in the «Stress Clinic», and somehow I missed that their phone number ends with «6969″. Yes it does. I was greeted by a young, well, perhaps late 20’s thin blonde and told that today’s cost was $ 100 to relieve my stress. And she directed me to an ATM in the corner (that charges you a $ 8 fee to use it). I could already tell that something was up here… And I don’t really try to be that judgemental about a person’s appearance, but this girl just looked like a titty dancer. And while I really honestly was just expecting a massage when I walked in, it was quickly becoming apparent that I might be able to obtain something much more special.
I was then asked if I like Asian. And my answer was ‘Well yeah of course I like Asian. Asian is good.» Yet I was thinking to myself, «OMG WTF am I doing in here?!»
So to make a long story short, she escorted me to my own small room, said «She will be right here», handed me a towel, smiled and closed the door. The room had a massage table, sure enough. Maybe I was just getting paranoid, and maybe this was just going to be a massage by pretty Asian model after all. There was also a small couch. And something smelled strange in there.
And sure enough in comes this cute petite little Asian girl, showing quite a bit of skin. I was quite impressed, and she said «You like?». And I’m like «Well yeah, I like!». And so she tells me, «You get ready then.» Looked at my crotch, smiling, and closed the door.
Did this girl just tell me to take my pants off? Well, after coming in and out a few more times, I think we both figured out what was going on. And ya know how Oliver Stone flashes images across the screen? Well I had images flashing through my head that were a bit helpful in deciding the best course of action. Like seeing businessmen on TV being led handcuffed out of one of these places on Eyewitness news.
Final thing that happened, is I think this girl said «I sucky». (Or maybe she asked me if I wanted some Sake)… I know I stood there for a long, long time thinking… She gave me my $ 100 back and I left, in fact I got a speeding ticket coming down Westheimer. Okay so lemme get this right, 10 minutes before I was being offered fellatio (I think) by cute young Asian girl and now Johnny Law is giving me a ticket for doing 7mph over? Something is wrong in this country.
And now how in the world am I supposed to rate this place? Because if I select two stars for «Meh, I’ve had better» is that an admission? And BTW, there is no outdoor seating but I do believe it is wheelchair accessible.
Good lord. I need to have a talk with my dentist.