Mario’s Bar

I went back and forth on this one. Other reviews are largely accurate in their depiction of this place. Here is my experience:
my wife and I wandered in seeking refuge from the sweaty and slutty Halloween that invaded the rest of Hoboken. there were two old guys at the bar and a bartender. one single TV, about 19″ CRT, in the ceiling and bare bones. we grabbed a beer and played some juke box. really an amazing night when a dude at the bar gave us five bucks because he enjoyed our song pics and wanted more.
there is certainly a mood and a place for this bar, I think it would be mobbed in the right neighborhood of Manhattan or Brooklyn. the bathrooms do smell. there is a pool table. the beers are cheap and unoriginal. the current clientele is random. there isn’t any natural lighting. it would be a dreadful place to watch a game.
and I will be going back.

this place reeks of culture and age.
very friendly bartender (Mike) and awesome drinks. Someone ordered a manhattan and Mike shrugged his shoulders.
the jukebox is stocked with sinatra style singers I’ve never heard of. Amazing.
I’d love to die in this place.

Truly hipster. When I was at Mario’s one Saturday afternoon I could not understand the dialect of American English the three older gentlemen sitting no more three stools away from each other were speaking. What a time warp. I just hope you don’t have to use the bathroom while you’re there!

I’m a life-​long Hoboken resident, not some stupid 25-​year old slob from Morristown or Manhattan who only comes to Hoboken on the St. Patty’s day parade to get drunk (it’s not actually St. Patty’s day you dipshit), whine about stupid shit, ask people where Washington Street is, try to hail Indian Head cabs off the street, puke everywhere, rape girls, attack cops, then leave. And as long as I can remember, that red, white and blue striped awing has always been there at the corner of 3^rd and Bloomfield. Mario’s Tavern.
DC’s is a dive. Wilton House is a dive. Mario’s is beyond a dive. Hasn’t been dusted, mopped, bleached, or probably even wiped down since about 1992. This is by far the most disgusting bar I can think of. I’ve been to some divey dives before but Mario’s has them all topped. ‘Dive’ doesn’t even describe it, I believe ‘filthy shithole’ is more appropriate.
That being said, I am glad that Mario’s has been around for so long. As a Hoboken BNR, it warms my heart that the yuppies haven’t been able to put Mario’s out of business. I remember walking by as a child and peeking into the darkened, smokey interior (back when you could smoke in bars) and always being curious. It was a fixture of the Hoboken background growing up here in the 80’s and 90’s. And it’s still there. I will never go there for a beer again, but I hope it never, ever shuts down, because if it does, a part of Hoboken dies.

Smells like an old man shit his pants. 4 beers were $ 12? What the fuck? There was a homeless man by the door that smelt like a fart. It’s like if Moe’s came to life.

Epitome of DIVE BAR!!! I mean the liquor bottles lining the wall actually have DUST on them. Don’t come here sober. Or you might throw up. Which is less fun sober.
On the plus side, there’s a pool table. The bartender might be passed out, but at least you can shoot some pool while you damage your lungs with the smell of old people and dust inhalation. xoxo

First off, this place is amazing and the epitome of a true dive bar. Why only 2 stars? … the ENTIRE BAR smells of pee because the toilets do not flush. The bartender seemed nice and the place was super chill, but my nose will not let me return.

This place is the WORST!!! We went there on Paddys day to avoid the cover charge in other bars on Washington street and we were greeted by this old guy who seemed Polish or something. He was OK until other Paddys day revellers started coming in and then got freaked and closed the bar at 9pm!!! Like WTF. We were even playing pool and he turned the lights off before we finished our game. NEVER EVER GO HERE!!!

You shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover — so many times have we heard it, and so many times have we NOT listened to it.
I’m guilty, I admit it, and I know it. On a recent night out, one of the guys in our group suggested it. I was a hater, I admit it. I refused, I adamantly refused, because we have walked by, driven by, and always wondered how shady that bar was.
Finally, I succumbed to his salesmanship of this bar. Don’t get me wrong, it is definitely an OLD-TIMER’S bar. It’s old, it smells old, but surprisingly, the women’s bathroom doesn’t smell like a sewage system. The old-​timers who frequent this bar don’t want to talk or dance or see you bump and grind, they don’t want the loud, obnoxious hooligans in here, and they don’t want hipsters to ruin their bar. Why? because it is THEIR bar. So if you want to come in, be crazy loud and start a frat hazing, try to dance on the bar, and start a party; this is not the place for you — you need to go tothe Shannon for that sh*t. This place is for LOW-​KEY nights.
Nonetheless, I have to say, I liked this joint. Did you hear me? I LIKE THIS JOINT! If you are out with a small group of friends who just want to talk and hang, this place is decent. I’m pretty sure this place is CASH only, but someone has to verify that, because I only paid in cash.
— The beers are cheap (only bottled beer, no drafts) for $ 3.50 (and don’t come here looking for Belevedere vodka or whatever fancy pants alcohol you like to sip on)
— pool table in the back is always open (but there is only 1 small TV in the corner playing whatever sport is on)
— Jukebox has an *awesome* selection of classic rock (and it’s only $ 1 for 3 songs!!)
— the bartender is AWESOME (Victor, from Czech, 70 years old, been living in Hoboken for 30 years in the same apartment upstairs from the bar). I love Victor, he’s the heart of old-​time Hoboken.
Moral of the story: I need to stop being a stick-​in-​the-​mud fool and be open to more shady-​looking joints!