Touch of Europe Cafe & Deli

This place CLOSED down! Anyone know if it reopened in a different location?

Stumbling upon «Touch of Europe» you might think what I did, «this is a massage parlor?!» And yes I mean the kind where a happy ending includes a bubble bath, magnums of Pommery Cuvée Louise, and a set of Ukrainian leggy blondes. The fact that there’s barely a sign, and it’s tucked way back in a nondescript shopping mall, makes you think they don’t want to be found… but they do. What you’ll find is a restaurant/​bar/​market slashie recommended to me by Mr. Soul Pole himself, Tomasz M, and this is why I think it’s hot.
In my humble opinion, the greatest invention the land of Copernicus, Chopin, and Joanna Krupa has ever given the world is… wódka*. Unfortunately poppin’ bottles of Wyborowa, Sobieski, or Belvedere in mini-​markets is frowned upon by Hallandale PD. So I had to stick with my six new Polish friends; Tatra, Specjal, Warka, Zywiec, Okocim, and Karlovako.
After reading this my Polish speaking kolezanka Dora F., had to interject with,
«Karlovako jest piwo z Chorwacji, ty idioto!»
Oops I guess Karlovako is Croation then. I believe I just got my honorary Polish card pulled. My Beach High classmate, Boleslaw (aka Coleslaw) would hang his head in shame if he could see me now.
Do you know how many 2-​liter bottles of beer your average citizen of Polska drinks in a year?
FIFTY…and that’s by accident as they’re mostly vodka drinkers.
Ssssshhhhh don’t worry «TOE» has a full fridgie of cold brews, and cases stacked like leaning towers everywhere. Beware; take down these «piwo» with caution! They are double the size, alcohol percentage, and flavor of their American counterparts.
My only request, I’d like to see some more darkie love from the proprietors, Jola, and Dominika. From my nights of depleting the world of its supply of European beer at PRL Euro Café, I know that Zywiec, Okocim, and Brok produce porter-​style brewskis.
Speaking of my favorite Polish mother/​daughter combo, I truly felt at home in their business. True it’s a home that you get a bill from when you leave, but they really make an effort to make you feel comfortable. As you’d imagine, Polish food doesn’t take kindly to being called «cuisine.» You can expect meat and potatoes fare accompanied by viscous sauces, and heavy stews.
Sausage Platter includes a foot long Kiebasa, mashed potatoes, and cabbage salad. As if that wasn’t enough, I was told I could order a «side» of Kiszka, lightly spiced blood sausage, which of course I did.
Cheese Platter includes Andrulis Baltic farmer’s cheese (like domestic feta but less salty), Ramzes (like smoked Gouda), and Podlaski (like dense Swiss).
I dated a couple of half-​Polish girls with a lot of z’s and y’s in their names, so I guess between them you could say I’ve dated 1 full one. They exposed me to some OG «kuchnia Polska» that is available here like; chodnik (cold borscht), bliny with smietana (blintzes) and your favorite and mine… pierogi (dumplings), especially the ones stuffed with potato and cheese. I was really on a treasure hunt for some czernina, duck blood soup accented with spices and raisins. You may think that doesn’t go together, but it’s as natural as Rzeczpospolita and hip-​hop. I left without finding my food fortune, yet I Shazamed this little gem form 2002;
A true classic of the Eastern European rap game, but K.A.S.T.A…where are the video hoez?
Did I mention that all of this was happening at noon on a Sunday? Jola and Domenika wouldn’t let me leave without; a free snack sized ledzie (pickled herring), placek z jablka (apple cake), Malina (raspberry) Tea, Rumianek (chamomile) Tea, and even a portion of their staff meal of Tilapia sautéed with broccoli, dill, roasted garlic, and olive oil.
If this market is any clue about what life in Poland is like, I’d say having a full belly, a filled glass, and a satisfied smile takes priority over everything else.
*Any of youse commy Ruskies that want to challenge me on this please read, Akta Grodzkie, copyright 1405. Oh you’re not a comparative literary scholar, but don’t have anything better to do for the next 33 minutes… then watch this;