Long John Silver’s

Long John Silver’s was one of my favorite restaurants growing up, but I haven’t set foot in one for more than a decade because I try to avoid eating artificial trans fats and any food containing partially-​hydrogenated oil or high-​fructose corn syrup. Since that narrowed down the LJS menu to little more than water and rice until recently, there was just no point in going anymore.
In January 2014, however, Long John Silver’s announced it had eliminated the use of partially-​hydrogenated oil in its fryers, so at long last I’ve been able to lift my embargo. Or maybe we should call it a «blockade» in keeping with the restaurant’s traditional, though continually minimized through the years, pirate theme.
I chose the Georgetown location for dipping my toe back in the water, so to speak, because I could tell from the exterior it’s an older location reminiscent of ye olde «seafood shoppes» I so fondly remember and also because it’s convenient to a route I frequently travel.
I arrived around 1:30 p.m. on a Monday, which is typically a slow part of the day at most restaurants. There was only one guest in the lobby — which legally seats 88, according to the fire marshal’s sign — and the restaurant was staffed with a typical three-​person crew: one cook, one counter/​lobby person and one manager.
I presume the manager was there more to entertain the employees than to manage because the counter service was friendly and efficient, but the front of the house was disgusting.
After scanning the lobby for a place to sit, my timbers weren’t the only thing shivering because the place was filthy. The wet floor sign in the middle of the walkway must have been serving double-​duty as a warning cone to point out dirt because it didn’t look like the floor had seen a mop any time recently.
Texting «FISH» to 41 522 to opt-​in to the company’s SMS marketing list scored me a text message redeemable for a free large drink, so I took advantage of that offer — which was honored without incident, unlike some similar offers from other places where poorly-​trained employees stare at you like you’re from Mars when you try to show them the screen on your phone — and I also ordered the $ 2.99 fish and chips special.
Calling the free drink «large» is an understatement because the sturdy plastic cup I was given seemed closer to 44 ounces than the more traditional 32-​ounce or smaller «large» drinks most fast food places serve nowadays. I was also ecstatic to discover Long John’s still has really good sweet tea.
Even if there are corpses decomposing in the kitchen, most places will get at least two stars from me if they have really good tea. And this place has really good tea. (Before anybody asks, I don’t know if they had any corpses decomposing in the kitchen or not because I couldn’t see back there. But if they did, they weren’t noted on the most recent health department inspection report, on which the store notched a respectable 96 percent.)
The fish and chips special consists of two breaded fish tenders and actual chips cut from whole potatoes and then fried in store, not the fries someone down with the traditional British «fish and chips» lingo might be expecting.
The fish was cooked fresh to order and was good, although — not surprisingly — a bit greasy. The chips, dusted with salt and what tasted like a bit of vinegar, were cold and underwhelming. They weren’t bad, but they weren’t nearly as good as I expected. I’ll probably opt for fries next time if they allow substitutions.
In addition to the aforementioned dirty floor, many tables had bits of dried funk on their sides, although the tops appeared mostly clean. Given the grooved design of the sides of their tables, that’s an area that obviously needs some special cleaning attention it hasn’t been getting. Or perhaps it’s actually a new convenience feature; why bother getting up to get cocktail sauce when you can simply scrape some off the side of your table and rehydrate it?
The cramped, single-​occupant men’s room was reminiscent of a 1980s gas station’s, with filthy floor and dirty pedestal sink to match. A heating vent inside turned the small enclosed space into a virtual dry sauna on the cold winter day during which I visited, and I would imagine it probably feels much like a meat locker in the summer.
The restroom was very well-​stocked with toilet paper and paper towels, though. All fixtures were in good repair, performing their intended functions as expected, and the soap dispenser was empty upon my arrival but promptly refilled.
And the overhead vent was so clogged with debris that you’ll never have to worry about Ceiling Cat watching you poop in there. Graffiti on the door proclaims «Wes» was there on Jan. 10, 2012; perhaps Wes was the last person who cleaned it and the artist decided to sign his work.
I was reasonably satisfied with my overall dining experience, but if this place doesn’t get a good deck scrubbing soon then the owner needs to walk the plank.

This was your normal Long John Silver’s. The floor felt kind of greasy, but this is a fast food joint that fries pretty much everything they make. The bathrooms were decent, not super clean, but not gross either. Our food came quick an was nice and hot. I felt like I gained 5 lbs after leaving. but it definitely satisfied my fried food craving.