Bastille Day Festival at Eastern State Penitentiary

I’ve heard a lot about this festival and finally was able to check it out this year! Very odd but overall fun!
The website said festivities started at 2 but at 4 there was very little going on besides a rehearsal for the 5:30 show. You can purchase seats with the bourgeoise or stand among the masses with the mob. By 5:30 the crowds were enough to induce claustrophobic panic attacks and bring out the worst in people trying to shove their way to the front. I could have probably licked the neck of the stranger in front of me, that’s how close we were. AVOID THIS FESTIVAL IF YOU ARE AT ALL AVERSE TO CROWDS.
The Bearded Ladies put on one of the most bizarre tributes to the French Revolutionary War, french monuments, and famous french people and food in general. When else in the history of time has a Joan of Arc impersonator shooting fireworks out of her breastplate (singing like it’s the 14^th of July) shared the stage with a bearded drag queen Edith Piaf, a person in giant tastycake costume, a human baguette, the «pope», AND «Mayor Nutter» while the onlooking mob unleashes a (historically inaccurate, but punny) «rain of terror» in the form of water guns? Philly is indeed a weird place. The show pokes fun at the French, Philly (and it’s sports teams), pop culture/​current events, and itself. It is highly entertaining but not for those easily offended or who believe historical reenactments should be at all accurate.
It ends as all parties should, with tastycakes raining from the sky (although a ton are thrown, only those closest to the penitentiary will get them) and several faux guillotine executions. Bars nearby offer drink and specials following the show and Eastern State Penitentiary does discounted tours ($ 10).
Go and see it for yourself, expect a good time but not a lot of personal space.

Fantastically creative, area restaurants get into the fun and create special dishes, people get dressed in costume, some don’t. It’s creative and a fun event that has a lot of class. Artists Welcome!

After years of missing this event, I was excited to be in town to attend and participate in the festivities this weekend. A uniquely Philadelphian-​Art Museum event with costumes featuring the Penitentiary and the Bearded Ladies — I was looking forward to the performances, the theatrics, and yes, even the Tastykakes showers.
The event fell really flat. I’d say a total pass unless you’re right up front at the stage.
I am not sure whether the neighborhood or the organization who hosts this event was ready for the crowd turnout, but they were not. The stage where all the performances and events took place was only at eye level and unless you were right nearby in the throngs of people, you really could not see anything at all. Fail. The sound and speakers were piss poor. Volume was low and you could not really hear anything over the general buzz of the crowd chatter. At an almost two hour-​long event, you could barely hear or see anything.
As the moment arrived where with the help of Marie Antoinette, the tastykakes were to be showered onto the masses, a team of about a dozen people, centered only above the entry to the penitentiary, started loosely throwing the treats. Only those people who were directly adjacent and near the stage were able to see and snag some free preservative-​laden dessert. Meh.
There was only one beer station with unruly lines directly located halfway in front of the stage. There were no general stations for food or other drink. All other events were held at local bars were closed to the general public unless you paid ahead. The only appealing place were those celebrations being had at London Grill — but even then, it didn’t seem all that fun — and more cheesy than unique. Lots of families, and dogs out and about, lots of people all decked out in costume — seemed like good old fashioned fun — Shame you couldn’t hear nor see what all the actual festivities were about.