San Lorenzo Valley High School

This place gets five stars based solely on the face that Mr Boomer is the most legendary figurehead ever to grace the halls of our education system. Yaz Yaz Yaz. The knights of Revenge will rise again.

So… I give SLV five stars based on the other high schools that I attended. I was only at SLV for one year (junior) in 1984 – 85. I went to two different junior high schools, and four different high schools. So I hope this review counts for something.
I enjoyed almost every facet of SLV. The teachers during my time there were great. I especially enjoyed Mrs. Steingrube and Mr. Bubb. Both were great, patient teachers who made my time in their class both enjoyable and educational. In fact, they are the only two teachers I have ever looked up on FB or any other social network… and am happy to report that I am in touch with both.
I have lots of great memories at this school, and in Felton/​BL/​BC area. I’m glad to be able to count this as one of the highlights of my youth.
If you have the opportunity to send your children to this school, I say do it! Beautiful campus, caring staff and teachers. Something they’ll remember for a lifetime.

Hahaha. Okay, I had to review my high school. Frankly, the star system doesn’t really suffice when grading SLV. I loved my time in high school but in my mind SLV only counts as a «school» as a result of its requiring you to sit in a room that just happens to have a chalkboard in it. SLV is why I am such a big fan of Michelle Rhee, the chancellor of the Washington, DC public schools system (google her). Most of my teachers were kind and well meaning but… well… let’s just stick with kind and well meaning. I will now break down my high school experience by year:
2002 – 2003: My French class was «taught» by a woman hired to teach Spanish who proceeded to play French tapes in the classroom cassette player while simultaneously reading Cosmo at her desk. Year was redeemed to an extent by Football Coach/​English teacher Doug Morris, whose Oral Communications class was one of only two classes that have made any kind of lasting impact on me.
2003 – 2004: My math teacher (who was forced into retirement the following year) was a well-​known chain smoker who would periodically tell the class that she had to go «make some copies» only to come back reeking of cigarettes without having made any copies.
2004 – 2005: Mr. Harris, the best English teacher at SLV, proved that there was some hope left only to retire at the end of the year. Luckily AP classes became available to me as a junior, meaning that I had a less traumatic time. Then again my AP U.S. History teacher, who was only covering for the real APUSH teacher, who was out for the year after having a baby, made us watch Forrest Gump oh, I dunno, 5 times. Nice guy though and I did get a 4 on the APUSH test so I can’t complain too much.
2005 – 2006: Senior Year Baby! My senior year at SLV, so full of youthful hijinx, saw me take the only other meaningful class I took while at SLV, Cynthia Martinez’s (who is adorable by the way) AP U.S. Government class. However, in true SLV fashion, the class only lasted a semester, meaning that the whole rest of the year was a lesson in futility. Oh, and right after graduation some punk kid burned down the library as «a prank.»
Suffice it to say if SLV were a movie it would be either «The Postman» or «Waterworld,» which is to say it’s a post-​apocalyptic hell-​scape starring Kevin Costner.