My 500th Review

I knew I had to review something really special for my 500^th review, but I couldn’t think of what. Then it dawned on me, there is nothing more special than this review itself. Dudes, my 500^th review is the shit. I don’t give out five stars lightly, but I definitely think it is worthy of five. And high fives too, for that matter! Have I really been doing this for four years? Fuck.
I haven’t commented on Christina’s 100 review challenge publicly yet, but allow me to do so now. 100 Review Challenge, you don’t stand a chance. I will make you look like the easy peasy task you are. Some Elites will struggle with such numbers, as they have hovered around 50 reviews for two years. Not I. I write 100 reviews in my sleep. I write 500 in a somewhat lucid state. Since I’m twice the Unilocaler most people are, maybe I’ll double the challenge and write 200 of my own. Hmph. The real challenge for me, and it is a neverending one, is maintaining my 33% FTR ratio. That’s right, for every two reviews I write, I write one for a place that has never been reviewed before. I’m just that good. /​endnarcissisticrant