Crown Fried Chicken

so gross! i was drunk and i still looked at my chicken and wondered if it was even chicken it was so bad. ok not that bad but man, it was gross.

I really don’t like to jump on the band wagon and hate on places, but damn this place is nasty.
The white trash redneck genes of mine that normally lie dormant became active and lured me into this place, with the chrome glowing exterior that only a carnie would love. I stood in front in awe while the storefront glowed in front of me, Journey started blasting in my head and I could hear the sound of pinball machines.
The cook in the back flicked a bug off of the rice spoon and then put the rice into a container, I witnessed this while eating here. The soda machine here has old mixed syrup and there is mold in the pipelines. There were flecks of mold in my drink. Definitely don’t get the Dew, even if it feels right at first, don’t do it. Ugh.
The chicken here is like rubber and the fries are coated in wax. The cheese sticks are bland and the gyro is filled with grilled onions that you cannot even chew. So much grease running everyone on the plate. Tragic! There is a meh Halal cart across the street, but they unexpectidely closed when the gyro craving struck.
The other people eating here did not look much happier. Two people enter, one person leave.

Popcorn chicken and French fries for lunch sounded good. At $ 3.00 and $ 1.25 respectively, a small investment to stave off hunger.
Next time, I will go a block further and eat at subway.
While the servings were adequate, the chicken breading was rather flavorless. At least until I added salt. Then it was salty.
I asked for extra BBQ sauce, explaining that I needed it for the chicken and the fries since I am not a fan of ketchup. I was given three whole packets, each of which was smaller than a standard ketchup pack. I managed to add taste to approximately a third of my chicken bits. My fries were left completely nekkid.
Most annoying, though, I ordered ala carte since they did not have Diet Coke to drink. Instead of the 4.99 combo meal, I ordered 4.25 in food. Somehow, my meal still cost over 5.00. New math, I guess.
The next time I am in the mood for popcorn chicken, I will bring my own BBQ sauce and leave off the fries.

I guess I have outlandishly high standards, even when it comes to fast food. This Crown Chicken location mirrors the likeness of the neighborhood in which it resides – filthy, filthy, filthy. I don’t patronize in filth. I’m not a snob. I just don’t like filth. It’s filthy. This place needs to clean up its act, though I’m sure it suits the neighboring demographic just fine.
Okay, so I really am a snob. And PopEyes is way better! Don’t settle for imitation.

Yum!!! Soo good and so cheap! Just the way I like it! Their Gyros are delicious and the guys who work there and the owner are all sooo nice! Two thumbs up!

There is no reward without great risk, so quotith Euclid or some other ancient Greek pederast. The same aphorism may be applied to my dining habits. Every time I step inside the bulletproof class for a crespular meal, my heart beat quickens – not only because I am surrounded by what seems to be G-​Unit, but also because I will eat a meal so loaded with trans fat that my subsequent steps will be inside the cardiac unit at Woodhull Medical Center.
The food quality works much like sex appeal at a party. When dining at Crown’s Fried, one must adapt the same «Beer Goggles» mentality. Whereas Crown Fried might taste acceptable at noon, it will taste much better at 3 am after drinking from the sweet teat of the PBR Keg.
The menu consists of mostly the aformentioned fried chicken. It is usually greasy and not hot, but again, perfunctory details. Who needs taste when you can breathe in the refreshingly pungent smell of urine cleverly shrouded in 99 cent store cleaning product?
Most of the food items consist of items one may purchase at any provincial grocery store. Items of particular interest include: Pizza Rolls, Hash Browns, Popcorn Shrimp, and Fish Sticks. «Why,» you ask yourself, «should I scurry in the brisk winter air in order to procure such items that I could get for half the price at Associated?» The answer is simple: You’re an American. And if someone can heat up your pizza rolls for you, it is your civic duty to exercise your freedom of choice.

«meat is murder! Delicious Delicious murder!» Spoken to me as I was attempting to correct the address. Its another crown, they all have decent chicken!