The Alley

Taking a walk through the alley? WARNING! This short walk from Boylston St. leading to Emerson College on the left and the transportation building directly in front of you can be hazardous to your health.
Not to worry! As a former Emerson graduate student and «talent member» at W Boston, which is on the other side of the transportation building, I’m an expert at making it through the pass safely. My expertise includes two years of crossing through the alley without needing so much as a penicillin shot or being pulled into a full-​on girl fight featuring Revere High School’s Class of 2006. Heed my advice and you can plow through the masses and triumphantly collect your iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts on the other side.
You’ll need the following materials:
–Ear plugs. These are essential to any Bostonian and are critical in avoiding people you don’t want to stop and talk to. These also work wonders while ignoring The Children’s Fund workers that try to stop on you the street (I’m going to hell, huh?).
–Gas Mask. Okay, so you probably don’t have one of these in your bag so try to hold your breath as long as possible. Emerson students are notorious chain-​smokers and I secretly think some male club goers skip the club and smoke outside to «meet» drunken female club goers. If you run I’m confident you can make it without passing out.
–Flats. Traditional Boston cobblestone streets can be tricky, especially at night. Add in dodging Armani Exchange sporting guidos and it may as well be a land mine field out there.
–Hat with a bill. I have this really cute winter hat that everyone compliments, but I wear it because I can pull the bill down over my eyes at 11:30 p.m. when I’m walking from work to the T station. They can’t see weakness if they can’t see your eyes.
There is a way to avoid the alley entirely, however it requires turning right at the corner of Boylston and Tremont (where if you’re wearing a dress you will likely be approached by scary men and asked ‘how much?’) and then taking a left on Stuart. This corner is ground zero for crack heads so be sure to have your flats on, your bill down and run like hell.
Happy travels!

I’m surprised that I’ve never reviewed «The Alley». This is also not «The Alley» as in the bar (I’ll review that later). This is the alley at Boylston Place, aka the wackiest place in Boston at 2:30 AM on a Saturday.
While I have not reviewed this establishment yet, I’ve reviewed places in it (Sweetwater, Liquor Store, and probably that mall thingy).
During the week, it’s quite boring. Sweetwater’s open, but for the most part, it’s not a hopping place.
On the weekend, well, it’s covered in every type of party dude or dude-​ette that one could possibly encounter. Having Liquor Store and Estate here kind of brings out the party crowd, and with Gypsy Bar and others nearby, it’s a wacky party place.
And then, it hits 2 AM, when the bars close (and the MBTA is also closed… thanks various forces at work), and this place turns into nightmare central: cops shouting to get out, arresting drunk morons; everyone and their mother attempting to get a taxi; and the wackiness that abounds from all of this happening at once to a few hundred plus people. Basically, it’s a shitshow.
So, The Alley: it’s, um… yeah.

Another reason why I don’t like this place: Is when it’s 2 AM and you’re trying to drive home — the street just outside the alley is chock-​full of drunken idiots. Cops are out there in full force. Cars pack the streets. Drunks bump into your car. It’s insane. I hate it. It’s like when 2AM rolls around all the doors open and all the drunks fly out onto the road like a buncha morons.

One of the class-​less places in the city.
Girls in their late 20’s trying to dress like they are still 18 and failing miserably at it. Drunken townies. Bar fights… a mechanical bull? Really? Bouncers, who probably think they might get lucky if they let some Marlboro and Bud Light stenched floosie into the bar.
No thanks. Move along, nothing to see here except Watered Down Drinks, and «Whoo Girls».