Colonial Parking

The Colonial Parking Garage at 2733 South Crystal Drive in Crystal City requires government ID to enter. If you do not have a government ID, the guard in the booth will need to come out of the booth, search your trunk, and use one of those little mirrors on a long rolling stick to look underneath of your vehicle (you know, to make sure MacGyver or Jack Bauer aren’t trying to sneak into the building by hiding under your car holding onto your crankshaft).
Once inside, you will take a ticket, which entitles you to park in any space you can find for approximately $ 6.39 million dollars per hour or any part thereof. Once you have a ticket, start the circling process to try to find a space. You just TRY to find a space. Go ahead. Go on now. Um hm. You couldn’t find one, could you. Oh no, you didn’t park in one of those «electric vehicle charging station only» spaces, did you? If you are not parking an electric vehicle there, you will get a nasty gram from all of the prius and leaf drivers in the building. And don’t even think of parking in the «car and van pool only» spaces. MMmmmm. No. Don’t you dare. You will have a nasty gram from the Colonial Parking bench warning you of your transgression and threatening to have you ticketed and towed the next time it happens.
If you found a legal parking space and got out of your car, now’s the time to start looking for the way into the building. Stairs? Elevators? Both of them will take you to the seedy underbelly of the building, yes, a rat’s maze in the back, the inner structure, where only janitors and maintenance fear to tread. If you can find your way to the actual desk, good. You’re almost only 13 minutes late for your meeting, now. So get ready to really go thru security. Put all of your belongings on the conveyor belt. Sign in. Call someone from upstairs to meet you at the security desk to escort you to your destination. Yep.
Other than all of that, parking in the Colonial Parking Garage at 2733 South Crystal Drive is A-​Ok.