Steamworks

This review is for the small and well stocked store next door. Very good selection of in house made stuff at reasonable prices. The tip jar is based on who had the best hipster moustache which hands down is Tom Selik.

Don’t ever go there unless you want you’re money stolen. I frequent Steamworks Chicago often and always have a good time. Not with this place. It is very sketchy and the workers work with all of the tweaked out queens to steal from the customers. I was visiting and made the mistake of going there with cash. So when I paid I noticed the cashier staring into my wallet to see what I had in there. Didn’t think much of it until I left my things in the locker and walked around only to come back to check on my things and have the worker who was staring at my cash walk up to me and say one of the customers had turned in my wallet that they supposedly found by the trashcan. He made a point of telling me that they aren’t responsible for anything that may be missing. So I checked to see what was gone and you guessed it my $ 60 was long gone. Thankfully nothing else was missing. I packed up my things and will never be back. I know that worker watched me and went into my locker to swipe my cash from my wallet that magically was «found» outside of the locker. There’s nothing worth coming here for. The guys are all high on some kind of drug and the workers get high with them. No one is there for sex only for drugs. Can’t believe this place is even allowed to be opened.

In my defense, I was forced here. With a gun pointed to my head. Well, maybe not a gun, but definitely something that could shoot.
So I was really surprised by how clean and nice this facility was — well-​kept, to my eyes, with pretty modern finishes. After checking in, you enter past two sets of doors. After that, there’s a seating and workout area up front, then the obligatory locker area. Lighting is dim and ultimately, yes, flattering, but not so dark that you can’t see who you’re talking to.
The «wet area» is towards the back of the main floor. Again, decorated with very modern, masculine touches, dark bath tiles, free-​standing porcelain sinks, and touches of slate here and there. There’s a row of showers that are all motion activated, with excellent water pressure, at the perfect warm temperature, several gel soap dispensers, and multiple screens overhead playing several different — films.
Hot tub is in that same area, weirdly positioned, up a couple of steps and overlooking the shower area. The hot tub itself is small compared to others I’ve seen. Smelled like chlorine, though, which in my mind is a good and critically important thing.
Off to the other side is the dry sauna and steam. Both are connected by a door in the middle, which is pretty unique. Again, surprisingly nice spaces, adequate room for seating. And more.
Downstairs are all the many, many private rooms, dark corners and spaces. There’s a central clearing right at the foot of the stairs where there’s a large flat screen and benches lining the walls facing it — for, you know, group activities and those who wish to watch. There’s a sink area with a well-​thought mouthwash station. Further back, there’s a small computer area where you can access the internet (who wouldn’t want to update their facebook status while at Steamworks) or, I don’t know, input numbers into an excel file.
Safety is reinforced (with posters and lots of condom dispensers), they have a no drugs, no alcohol policy. Yeah, there are a mix of guys — emphasis on the word «mix.». I imagine, depending on the night, you may find better variety than others. Good manners and politely saying no are taken pretty well here.
Ultimately, guys come here for, usually, one reason. And I’d say this is a good place to find it in Vancouver. But if not, you can at the very least get a nice dry or wet steam, an awesome shower experience, all while being able to watch some quality films. That and you can check your email before you go.
The saying, «There’s a first time for everything,» resonated with me on my visit. And if you’re like me, you’ll find it a decent place to come, maybe come again, then leave saying the exact same thing.