Country Style – Bistro Deli

You like mashups? Crank up the Girl Talk and shuffle into Country Style Bistro Deli. You got yer coffee, yer breakfast sandwiches, subs, wraps, salads, dough-​nuts of course, and a TCBY for good measure.
CSBD is situated in the parking lot of a plaza at Winston Churchill and the 403. I was forced to wait here while my sister got her eyebrows threaded nearby. It looks exactly like a Country Style should, metal chairs and fluorescent lighting, with a palette of burnt sienna, dusty avocado and the colour of suburban despair (which is brown, if you didn’t know). The free Wi-​Fi definitely helped murder the ennui; I updated the apps on my iPhone; I noticed a few students working away on their laptops too.
I decided to try my luck at the TCBY. I wanted a dairy-​free ice beverage, but they couldn’t easily comply with that request. I was re-​directed to the Country Style menu because (strangely) they too offer blended drinks like fruit smoothies and frozen lattes. This is some messed up inter-​store cannibalistic competition to be sure, but whatever.
I got something with mango which tasted like a melted Kisko Freezie (AKA freeze-​pop, ice-​pole, tip-​top, cool pop, otter pop, ice tickle, foxy pop, pop-​ice, Mr. Freeze or my favorite, «bagsicle») and not in a good way. I think the correct thing to order here is ‘nothing’ with second prize going to ‘brewed coffee’. Get me outta here.
Obligatory Title Pun: Don’t wanna be/​your BISTRO DELI.
Menu Readability: Everything represented in the glorious medium of photograph.
Need to mention: Their website links to Mapquest. WTF?
What this place teaches me about myself: Every synonym for freezie sounds like the name of a ice-​powered superhero that is also a pedophile. Or is it just me?