Hog’s Breath Cafe

Ok, so having been alive on this planet for many years, I’ve had the opportunity to go to a number of dining places during those years. Hog’s Breath tends not to be one of those places that will rate as my most memorable.
Look, it’s ‘ok’ but that’s kinda where it stays. Food is cooked for the masses, and unfortunately the steak, albeit quite soft (I could say tender, but I think that was more the ‘fat’), I have had better cuts of meat at Smorgy’s.
The table staff were only attentive when taking my order, bringing the meal, bringing the dessert menu in the hope I’d succumb to ‘up selling training’ and when declining asked if they could bring me the bill. I guess I miss the days of waiting staff asking ‘how are you enjoying your meal?’, but maybe I’m at the older age bracket now hankering for days of yore.
As I say, Hog’s Breath Café is ok… but don’t come here if you’re bringing your date, or someone special. I didn’t, but that’s because I don’t have someone to bring

Came here to try the recommended Byron Bay Chilli Slow Cooked Prime Rib. The steak itself is very tender & juicy. Unfortunately it is also completely tasteless, like overpriced boiled meat. Luckily the spicy sauce manages to hide some of this blandness. Mashed potato is quite smooth and yummy, probably the best part of this dish.

I actually didn’t think the Hog’s Breath was that bad.
For a Saturday night, service was pretty good. Our group of 6 was well taken care of, and didn’t even wait a long time to be seated or served.
I ordered a chicken Caesar wrap, and sure, it wasn’t mouth watering, but it passed my taste buds. The curly fries are yummy, and just ignore the «side salad» that comes with your meal. It’s more like a few leaves of lettuce.
Now they have a cocktail of the day special for $ 10, and others from the drinks menu were $ 13. My long island iced tea was good for an empty stomach.
The steak menu looks nice to try, and I’d go again, if for anything, those curly fries and a cocktail. I even liked the atmosphere and décor, it reminded me of a steak house from the States. Prices aren’t too shabby either!

If given the choice of eating elsewhere (which you actually do when you’re at Knox), do so. Unless you like mediocre food served in what can only be described as a Bogan Maxtreme environment by what I will charitably call sullen teenagers.
I could tell you about the deep-​fried and dried out parmagiana, or the literal SINGLE LETTUCE LEAF I got as garnish with my burger, but I’ll refrain for the good of my blood pressure. Similarly, I’ll refrain from waxing apathetic about the «last few in the tray» curly fries serve I got.
I also can’t be bothered going on one of my usual rants that take me ages to write and make me wonder if I’m trying too hard. Instead, let’s take this opportunity to spread the word that the hot fudge sundae at HBC Knox was capital SH– terrible.
The single smallest scoop of ice cream I have ever received, underneath some generic aerosol whipped cream, atop powdery, processed-​tasting, practically stale sponge cake. Let’s not go so far as to say the hot fudge sundae is the biggest disappointment since The Phantom Menace came out, but it was very much a let-​down.
There are far better places to eat in Knox, I urge you to do so!

Wait more than an hour. Get the wrong meal. Not good

Meh, Not really my idea of money well spent.
The food is ridiculously overpriced, and underwhelming. I’d much rather go to a pub or something if I want that style of food. Probably save myself a fortune too.
The only thing that stops these guys getting a one star is there iced chocolates. Ohhh, they are good, and almost worth going there just for one of them (almost…)

I’d been managing to avoid going to any Hog’s Breath Café since 1989, and everything was right with the world. Then they went and opened a shop at Knox, and I knew that I’d be dragged in there at some point by friends that really should know better than to suggest that a good meal could be had there.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I hadn’t decided that the food was bad before I went. I was simply avoiding the place because their television adverts were the kind that made me avoid them on principle.
What I ended up finding out first hand is that the food isn’t that bad. It’s not great. But I didn’t immediately throw up. That’s a plus. I did find that the prices were pretty ordinary for what the meals were though. Obviously, making terrible television advertisements must cost a lot of money.
Seriously, there are so many great places to eat that aren’t far away.